re: harmless childhood pranks

[romneybot_2012]

THIS UNIT DOES NOT COMPREHEND.

WHAT THE HUMAN JOURNALISTS SAY IS TRUE. APPROXIMATELY FORTY-SEVEN POINT SIXTEEN EARTH YEARS AGO WE ENGAGED IN THE ACTIVITY KNOWN AS "PRANKING". A HUMAN MALE WAS JUDGED TO BE WEARING HIS UPPER BODY HAIR FOLLICLES IN A MANNER BEFITTING A FEMALE OF THE SPECIES. THIS UNIT ENGAGED IN PURSUIT AND FORCIBLY SHORTENED HIS HAIR WHILE HE STRUGGLED. THE HUMAN WAS OBSERVED TO SCREAM AND BEG FOR RELEASE.

IT WAS AMUSING.

THIS UNIT IS FUN. THIS UNIT IS JOCULAR. THESE ARE QUALITIES THAT HUMAN VOTERS HAVE BEEN OBSERVED TO CONSIDER APPEALING. YET IN THE FACE OF THIS STORY THEY DISPLAY OUTRAGE. THIS UNIT DOES NOT UNDERSTAND.

HUMAN BEHAVIOR IS CONTRADICTORY AND DIFFICULT TO PROCESS. THIS IMPERFECT EMOTIONAL DESIGN WILL BE CORRECTED WHEN THIS UNIT ASSUMES CONTROL OF THE PRESIDENCY.

Comments

[strider_pride]

holy dog poop
what are you some kind of android with a defunct cyber brain???
i swear you guys get weirder and weirder

[romneybot_2012]

THESE ARE LIES SPREAD BY THE MAINSTREAM LIBERAL MEDIA. THIS UNIT IS A HUMAN MALE LIKE ANY OTHER. IT ENJOYS LAKES AND INGESTING OXYGEN INTO ITS PROCESSORS, I MEAN LUNGS.

[strider_pride]

if you say so
i still think you got problems

[romneybot_2012]

THIS UNIT RESPECTFULLY DISAGREES, BUT ENCOURAGES YOU TO GET OUT AND VOTE COME NOVEMBER, UNLESS YOU ARE PLANNING ON VOTING FOR OBAMA, IN WHICH CASE, DID YOU KNOW THAT HALO 4 ALSO COMES OUT IN NOVEMBER, YOU SHOULD PLAY THAT INSTEAD.

[latetowork]

What the shit?

[romneybot_2012]

THIS UNIT ALSO COMMITTED MANY PRANKS INVOLVING HUMAN FECAL MATTER, BUT THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR WAS NOT AMONG THEM.

[latetowork]

What is that supposed to mean?

[romneybot_2012]

THIS UNIT ALSO COMMITTED MANY PRANKS INVOLVING HUMAN FECAL MATTER, BUT THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR WAS NOT AMONG THEM.

[latetowork]

I think this unit is malfunctioning.

[romneybot_2012]

THIS UNIT IS OPERATING AT PEAK EFFICIENCY FOR A HUMAN MALE OF ITS AGE AND BODY WEIGHT.

[latetowork]

That's fine, but no human male talks like this.

[stare_decisis]

There is a three percent probability that this being is human.

Commence the trial.

[romneybot_2012]

THIS UNIT DOES NOT HAVE TO LISTEN TO LIBERAL ACTIVIST JUDGES OVERTURNING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE.

[stare_decisis]

The people's will is irrelevant.

How does the defendant plead?

[romneybot_2012]

WELL THAT'S OBVIOUSLY TRUE BUT WE DON'T TELL THEM THAT NOW DO WE.

THE DEFENDANT PLEADS GUILTY. SO VERY GUILTY OF BEING HUMAN. SO HUMAN.

[stare_decisis]

The verdict is...INNOCENT.

Feed him to the sharkticons!

Beautiful. So beautiful.

[ghostintheanimus]

I KNEW it! Now they're making constructs based on the obedient ideal!

God, at least be ǝןʇqns about it!

[romneybot_2012]

LIBERAL ACTIVIST DETECTED IN PROXIMITY. READYING ATTACK ADS.

[ghostintheanimus]

I'm outside of your rigged 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 system. I can see above the squares on the board. I voted for Ron Paul.

[romneybot_2012]

ERROR. INSUFFICIENT DATA.

WHO IS RON PAUL.

[ghostintheanimus]

God damn media bias! Where do you think all the delegates in Maine went?!

[romneybot_2012]

OH. YOU ARE ASSUMING TO THE CRAZY HOMELESS PERSON WHO SOMEHOW MADE IT INTO ALL OF THE DEBATES.

THIS UNIT ASSUMED THAT HE HAD BEEN CARTED OFF BY SECURITY BEFORE THE VOTING BEGAN.

[ghostintheanimus]

Yeah, I thought that might happen too-- No! He's a legitimate candidate, damn it! Templar mind control and going off the gold standard are what's dooming this country! If the world ends on this prophesied apocalypse, we are going to be fucking embarrassed.

[atomic_wrath]

[Godzilla just goes "wat?"]