(no subject)

[still_alive]

Well, I hope you're happy.

8 icons and most of them are bad quality. I'm disappointed. Or would be disappointed if I hadn't given up on you completely. I don't have my notes here, but if I did and you were on them, they would say exactly that. A failure. An utter disappointment.

But that's alright. You're going to use me for something. A test. The irony is not lost on me. That core is still functioning despite my human appearance. Go ahead. Stick me where you see fit. It's been worse. I've been a potato. I think I can stand to be used by a complete abhorrence like you if I can maintain a controlled population.

If it's an isolated environment, please be aware that I am going to test others. If it isn't an isolated environment, I'm going to test them anyway.

Comments

[cave_johnson]

[CAROLINE is that you--wait, no, you just kind of sound like her.]

Testing? What kind of testing? Also, what's this about being in a potato?

I had the lab boys experimenting with potato genetics. We got about as far as getting potatoes to grow literally in a man's ears. I told 'em not to stop until they got the whole face figured out. It's only half a spud if it isn't the whole head.

They were, however, quite edible. Or so I'm told.

[still_alive]

[ Odd, she recognizes you, too. Somewhere. ]

Confidential testing, sir. [ And...Why did she just say sir? ]

Potatoes can emit 1.1 volts exactly. What's needed to power low-level AI. A science fact.

[cave_johnson]

A damn good science fact. 25 watts is about what the average human brain can produce. Now if we could only combine the two somehow, we'd be one step closer to gettin' brains into computers, or potatoes. Or vice-versa.

[testgasm]

Ooh! Here's an idea. Know we've had some trouble with them in the past--my ideas, I mean--but this is a good one. Think you'll like it. Really dynamite.

How about...I keep doing what I'm doing, elsewhere, and you just--just stay right where you are. Forever. Everyone wins, right?

Love the new body, by the way. Always pictured something a little more "screaming harpy of a woman", if I'm honest, but this is nice. Understated. Sort of subtle about the "screaming harpy" bit.

[still_alive]

Oh.

It's you.

[ Yup. That's all she's going to say for now. But she's definitely glaring with these new things human call eyes. And they're glaring holes into you, Wheatley. ]

[not_a_potato]

Now I feel lucky for still being put in a semi-robotic body.

[musicmaestro]

Wow, I've never been a potato before!

[still_alive]

Nothing is more humbling. Nor is anything more triggering for homicidal rage.

You should try it.

[musicmaestro]

I'm always up for being humbled! Where do I sign up?