re: my little sleipnir on tumblr

[spiderhorse]

[But why you gotta do a thing, pony lovers?

He is a cool horse, after all, truly, the best horse ever ever.

...

...

Oh Hel no.

Where is my cutie mark? I've passed puberty eons again!]

Comments

[fotlenke]

[...okay. what.]

Brave Warrior, why are you a pony?

[spiderhorse]

[MOM'S FUTURE WIFE
SAVE HIM

Because bronies only care about ponifying everything are you new
He's new
he's sad

I don't know. Apparently these ponies gain cutie marks at puberty, so I'm confused as to why, if I were a pony, I would not have one.

It'd be like
Odin's eyeball]

[fotlenke]

A...cutie mark?

[Is that like a wart?]

[spiderhorse]

[Yes. One has an apple, that I'm aware of. But it is looked down upon in the land of these ponies to be without one. It's quite confusing.

Sleipnir is thinking about this too hard]

[fotlenke]

An apple? Why would a pony have an apple-shaped wart?

[spiderhorse]

[He doesn't know.

He just. Riders before ponies, okay.

He's just confused why this is necessary, and why this thing is saying it's him.

Also his hair is terrible and a bloo bloo other god horse complaints]

[fotlenke]

[Sigyn looks at the...uh...pony.

The expression on her face is comically disturbed.]

What is such a creature!

[spiderhorse]

[They're also quite tiny and at least one is pink. Sleipnir has no idea what to make of it.

Hideous?]

[fotlenke]

It is...that poor creature is deformed! How can it possibly be living? What sorcery created such a horror!

[...it's a pony, Sigyn. a freaking pony.]

[spiderhorse]

[THERE ARE NO NIGHTMARISH HORSES QUITE LIKE THESE PONIES ARE THERE

Something truly foul.]

[traitors]

[ what in all the nine realms. 8| ]

Midgardian notions.

[spiderhorse]

[MOM!

MOMMY!

You are a woman and also a very pretty woman and also he loves his mommy

Come pet him, he will purr like a giant, eight-legged kitten that tramples all the dogs beneath his cute little paws]

[traitors]

.. Oh, honestly. [ she's amused, though, leaning up to stroke his neck. ] At least Allfather's been taking good care of you, my darling.

[spiderhorse]

[Mommy Mommy Mommy

Tell him about Dad some time, okay? And how pretty a mare you were because, damn. You make one fine everything else, he can't imagine how sporting a lady horse you were. Probably had the finest mouth in all the land!

The great god always takes care of me, as does Fair Frigga. It is good to see you.]

[traitors]

[ your daddy was a gentleman, sleipnir, and never let anyone tell you anything else. u_u

she rubs his nose, expression falling slightly at the mention of odin and frigga. a deep breath, then, and she dredges up a smile for him. ]

I'm glad to hear it, then. You will-- tell me if ever you have cause for complaint. [ she's never been happy about sleipnir being used as a common mount, but-- he seems content. ]

[spiderhorse]

[But he's not common! He's the best in all the Nine Realms! No other horse is as fast as Gaston, as strong, can have lightning beneath his metal shoes, can walk on water and earth and fly, okay. Calling him "common" is a really quick way to get him addled.

Not that it ever last around MOMMY but still.

I have no cause for complaint. Huginn and Muninn are the ones who gripe.

I AM A PRETTY HORSE AND DO WHAT I'M ASKED UNLIKE THOSE BIRDS
LOVE ME?????]

[traitors]

[ no he is the best sort-of-horse in all of existence ever >: and his mommy loves him very much. ]

Even so, keep my words in mind, Sleipnir. I would not.. have anything happen to you.

[ your siblings haven't been so lucky, after all, and loki's all kinds of overprotective of her babies. ]

[spiderhorse]

[Yeaaaah he's met his siblings and they all seem to have a real beef against him for not trampling his rider like he's on fire. Just because they're all deformed in useless ways doesn't mean he should get that heat because he's, you know...usefully deformed.

Sleipnir, the Hunchback That Could.

I will inform you should it ever occur, Mother.]

[traitors]

[ well, you're all going to have to learn to get along, ok. 8| just let mommy know if fenrir tries to eat you, he does try to do that sometimes.

she smiles at the reassurance, resting her brow against his neck with a sigh. ]

That's my little one. Though.. I suppose you haven't been 'little' in quite a long time.

[spiderhorse]

[ok ok mom we will

the other dude's started it though they're all angry and stuff and also you're a shitty parent but he didn't say that

Oh, no. I have not been under this size in many years.

This size = around that of an elephant. Little? Mmhmm.]

[matter_of_pride]

[Odin is rendered speechless here. He's not sure how to feel about this. B|a]

ANOTHER ODIN YESSSSS

[spiderhorse]

[RIDER
ALLFATHER
GREAT GOD OF WAR
"ONE-EYE"
WHAT IS THIS?

He looks so, so put out. Won't you paint something on his flanks to make him feel less impotent? Not like he can breed in the first place, but hey. PLEASE?]

Let's see if I can still brain him. <3

[matter_of_pride]

[The Allfather is rather put out himself. As his companion in battle is not a pony. The minds of mortals are vexing things.]

Truly I am vexed. Clearly some mortals have too much time on their hands.

[And no his horse is not being painted with anything referred too as a 'cutie mark'. That's more than he can take.]

oh why i am honored

[spiderhorse]

[Hell yes he is. He's the god horse that eats hay, shark, and the blood of his enemies. He's pretty hardcore, too hardcore for a tiny sweet little butt mark.

...though he's curious what it would be. An eye-patch? An eye? Two birds? A block of ice?

He whinnies lowly, frustrated, but quickly makes his way over to his rider, his bestie of all besties.

There are other things there, but this is the most...alarming.[

sorry for the delay there

[matter_of_pride]

[The fiercest horse in all of the nine realms, certainly has no need to look 'cute'. Odin is not the least bit curious. He's perfectly content with the way things are.

Of course, Odin reaches out a hand to touch Sleipnir's neck.]

Take comfort in the fact, that no matter how these mortals twist things, they shall never diminish your true glory.

[Because everyone knows, Sleipnir is the war horse to put all others to shame.]

it is o-k!

[spiderhorse]

[Aw, yeah. His true glory. There's nothing like compliments from the Allfather. They are the best compliments ever given, the ones that come from his rider. His rider is just that awesome.

I take comfort in all of your words, Allfather.

Horse of nightmares, sure thing, but he's totally nuzzling into Odin right now. He just loves him so much!]

oh I spy an Odin

[kinglaufey]

[ . . . ]

Humans and their entertainment. [ It's slightly entertaining but only because it's Sleipnir and not him going through such defilement of dignity. ]

Apparently!

[spiderhorse]

[Oh, haha, very funny, Grandpa. Let him stamp his hooves and whinny in confusion and you can laugh. Funny funny Frost Giants.

So it seems.]

[kinglaufey]

Not even this great creature of death can supersede the horror of a mortal with a keyboard. [ What is a cutie mark, even. Come on, Sleipnir!Mun, take pity. ]

[brosif]

...what is a "cutie" mark?

You are not cute.

[She means it as a compliment, honest.]

[spiderhorse]

[ONLY A TRUE FRIEND WOULD BE THAT TRULY HONEST

It designates that these ponies have hit puberty, it seems.]