Enough with these anti-benders!

[bendingunit]

First off, shut up mun! I got someone else I wanna address in this post, alright. So I hear there's a guy running around saying there's something wrong with being Bender. Well, I'm here to tell you that being Bender is being awesome! If being Bender wasn't awesome, could I do this?

[Bender runs off screen, sticks up a bank, leaves in an explosion, grabs a bunch of booze, and steamrolls an orphanage.]

I don't think so! So listen up mask guy, you wanna try to steal my bending powers, go ahead and try. I'm Bender, if I wasn't bending, I'd just be doing something twice as cool. Like unbending. Or smoking cigars. Speaking of which. [He pops out a cigar.] So, what do you say Ahumon?

Comments

[boozebot]

You go, me! Show them who's boss! No one messes with Bender!

[bendingunit]

Well hello my exceptionally handsome counterpart. I always knew that if I could count on anybody, it'd be me.

[boozebot]

Sexy robots have to stick together. Especially when they're as sexy as us.

[bendingunit]

Naturally. Just as long as everyone knows I'm the real Bender.

[eyeconic]

Oh lord.

[bendingunit]

Look at that. Objections from a non-Bender. Is anybody surprised by this? I know I'm not.

[eyeconic]

I never said I objected. That's just my natural reaction to anything you and Fry try to do on your own.

[bendingunit]

Now you're just oppressing me because I'm way cooler than you. It doesn't matter what you do, you can't be equal with someone as cool as Bender.

[eyeconic]

I'm not gonna waste my time arguing over this with you.

[bendingunit]

Well I'm not gonna waste my time caring. Even though I just won. Yeah, Bender rules. [Does a Bender rules backwards strut.]

[tinybutdeadly]

Bending is totally the most awesome thing ever!

[bendingunit]

Damn right it is. And ain't nobody better at bending than me, Bender.

[tinybutdeadly]

I dunno, man. I'm probably the most awesome 'bender there is.

[bendingunit]

Most awesome bender? That's me. Bender. But I like your attitude, so you can keep the number two spot.

[savedtheworld]

Yeah! I don't get those anti-bending guys. So are you some kind of metalbender?

[bendingunit]

Kid, I'm every kind of Bender. I just happen to be made of metal. Way better than being some meatbag.

[savedtheworld]

Whoa... are you another Avatar? I don't eat meat either!

[bendingunit]

I dunno, what's an Avatar do?

[savedtheworld]

Earth, water, fire, air - all the bending. Also we're the link between the people and spirits!

[bendingunit]

Fire, people, and spirits, huh? Yup, that sounds about right. What kind of money do you earn with a gig like that?

[savedtheworld]

It's not something where you earn money. Doing good is it's own reward. [pause] And they do make giant statues of really good Avatars.

[bendingunit]

Giant statues, huh? I could use some more of those, especially after my last one got blown up. Alright, you can call me Avatar Bender!

[savedtheworld]

Avatar... Bender? That's a pretty direct name! Nice to meet you, Avatar Bender. I'm Avatar Aang!

[bendingunit]

Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you too, kid. So, seeing as how we're out doing good for the world, wanna go kill all humans?

[savedtheworld]

What? No! That's... that's the opposite of what we're doing!

[bendingunit]

[Bender holds his sides and laughs.]

Hahahahaha! I'm just messing with you. But no, seriously, if you ever wanna kill all humans, just lemme know.

[savedtheworld]

[Aang is mostly left confused.]

Uh, yeah, I'll... let you know?

[bendingunit]

Yeah, you can have your people talk to my people.

[givemeyourfaaaaace]

But why would I steal your powers when I could have something greater?

[bendingunit]

If it's my great personality and irresistible charm, you're out of luck. That's 100% exclusive Bender.

I'M DYING

[ex_lusted501]

Ah, really? What element do you bend?

8D

[bendingunit]

That would be all of them my fine lady. Heh heh heh.

This is so amazing

[thirtieth_century]

Yeah! You tell him, Bender!

[bendingunit]

Already told them, meatbag. [He means that in a very affectionate way, okay.]