reserved @ ataraxion

[yardbird]

Really?

...I can't imagine that it's too late to talk you out of it, is there?

Look, I know where this is going, but you're just not getting it. I'm done -- I'm out. I don't have time for--



No, I don't see what's so funny about trying to make me "piss into a shotglass that's spinning on a record player and strapped to a running cheetah's back on fire". What the hell does that even mean?

Comments

[blahblahme]

Awww, yeah babe, I knew you'd be coming ba-

[blahblahme]

WAIT WHO DA FUCK ARE YOU?

LMFAO GODDAMMIT BRO, YOU'RE KILLING ME

[yardbird]

[...it's just too bad Murphy isn't quite as amused.]


No.


[Because seriously WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.]

pardon me while I make his life a little more horrible <3

[savethebullshit]

There's no talking muns out of things, Pendleton. I'm surprised you haven't figured that out already. You can't talk sense into them. You can't make them listen. It's like talking to a damn brick wall.

[she's just sort of watching him with her arms crossed right now, and there's a brief eyebrow raise at the image that last statement conjures up]

A cheetah's back? There's a line between funny and insane, and that crossed it right around the word "piss". What the hell is wrong with these people?

hjfgd excuse me while i flail in unadulterated glee

[yardbird]

Then I guess I'm wasting my breath telling these people that they should have better things to obsess over. It's bad enough having a whole town picking my life under a damn microscope -- these... applications are just crazy.

[He's been wondering the same exact thing. He lifts his hands a bit.]

I have no idea. Honestly, whatever it is, I don't even want to know anymore.

We can flail together XD

[savethebullshit]

They won't find something better to obsess over, trust me. I've spent almost a month trying to convince mine not to app me anywhere. You're right about those applications, though. They're crazy. My mun's been looking at places trying to decide where to send me and it's like waiting for a death sentence.

[a long-suffering sigh]

Maybe we're better off not knowing. I'm starting to think everything that's in that town is less disturbing than what's going on in these people's heads. It's just... unsettling.

[she runs a hand over her hair, her expression a tense one. Seeing him here like this is bizarre to say the least. It's not unwelcome, but it's bizarre all the same]

How've you been holding up? I've seen people look happier.

[a pause]

You're okay, right?

[yardbird]

Tch. Mine seems dead set on this spaceship... some kind of deep space labyrinth. Still got a couple weeks or so before they start accepting again, but all that just means is that the clock's ticking.

[And he has been eying it. He's eying it good.]

Well, either way... Can't say I'm any more excited to know than you are.

[It's bad enough having to face his own ugly psyche.

[All aboard the bizarre train! Murphy isn't any less of an awkward turtle now than he was before.]

I don't know yet... All things considered, I think I could be happier.

[Doesn't help how he constantly debates with himself whether he deserves it.]

...I don't know. Guess time will tell.

[savethebullshit]

Spaceship?

[she raises an eyebrow]

Sounds better than what we've been through at least. But a spaceship, really? You seem to have a habit of attracting strangeness, Pendleton.

[she gives him an odd sort of half-smile, because it's nice to see him alive and well, even if he seems agitated. She's honestly been a little worried about him since they saw each other last at her canon point. She wasn't sure if he'd make it back up to the highway alive]

Could be happier? What've you gone through, exactly... since we last saw each other?

[his ambiguous response to whether or not he's okay has her a little worried, though she's not admitting it]

[yardbird]

It's not a habit I'm happy with -- and believe me, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

[Which clearly means that the UFO endings were canon all along.

[His shoulders sag a bit. He's not sure how he'd feel about her worrying over him all this time.]

You know... Been keeping a low profile. Still can't help but feel like I have to constantly watch my back, but I keep telling myself that's supposed to be normal. To top it all off, this mun has been rattling her head over at what point in time I'm being yanked from, so there is that.

[He looks to her briefly.]

...what about you?

[Hell if he's going to admit that he's wondered how she's been doing, too.]

[slaughterism]

[Caim will just be over here, wondering what a cheetah is and how best to kill it. Don't mind him.]

[yardbird]

[Murphy will just be over here... Uh, with his hands out, basically like "Can I help you?" or something.

[Seriously, what's with the staring?]

[slaughterism]

[Hey, the hell are you looking at, pal? Not like Caim's talking to you, is it? Just. Maybe that blank look is edging toward a glare.

Oh, and he snorts. How eloquent!]

[yardbird]

[You're so charming...]

You gotta problem, then just say it.

[slaughterism]

[At first his eyes narrow because it's clearly not him that has the problem.

And then it sinks in, and he's offended. Not that Murphy has anyway of know, but details. A sharp, expressive, completely unintelligible gesture follows.]

[yardbird]

...

[He has... no idea what the hell that was supposed to mean. But the silence speaks volumes, and Murphy's smart enough to put two and two together and...

[Yeah.]



Great. This is gonna be fun...

[searbh]

Ain't like 'em to be talked outta these things, eh? You'll see more luck preparing for the worst than hoping one of them mule-headed ninnies sees reason.

[yardbird]

I don't think mule-headed ninnies is what I had in mind when addressing half of these sick-minded shut-ins, but you're right. Yeah, I get it. Already been through Hell. What's the worst that can happen?

[Would you like that on your tombstone, Mr. Pendleton?]

[searbh]

[...Did he really just say that? Really.

She barks a surprised laugh.]

Trees of my ancestors, you're a green one, ain't?

[And a clap on his shoulder -- oh, did we mention she's a blacksmith who doesn't quite know her own strength? No?]

Hope you're looking to learn, there, boy. And best you do it fast.

[yardbird]

[It's okay -- after being surrounded by murderers and worse convicts than himself, surely he can handle a little p...

[...ow.]

Well, shit. I feel so much confident now.

[Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.]

[searbh]

[Especially from a five foot woman. Avari only smirks.]

Don't you get your skivvies in a twist. Won't be the only one marching to your dooom. Won't be the last.

[Wait, that was supposed to be comforting. ...Right?]

la la i regret nothiiing

[robocon]

[ Is that a robot-version of Murphy Pendelton. Yyyyyep. ]

Look man, you don't want to do it. Just turn back now before it's too late.

as well you shouldn't

[yardbird]

Uh... huh...

[Okay, after all he's been through, he can pretty much handle the aftermaths of E. M. Escher meets his ugly psyche's lovechild. An angry cop putting a gun to his head? Doesn't even faze him anymore.

[But this? Meeting a robot version of himself, or a robot wearing his face, or WHATEVER...?

[Nope! This is a bit too much, even for Murph.]



...must've hit my head harder than I thought.

[robocon]

No... You didn't hit your head, Murphy. What you are seeing now is all real.

[ All up in your personal space, grabbing you by the shoulders. ]

Look at me, Murphy!

[yardbird]

[SIR YOU ARE TOTALLY BREACHING THE BOUNDARIES OF THIS MAN'S COMFORT ZONE and he doesn't know how to handle it.

[He just stiffly rattles his head; his eyes look away for the sake of protecting his own sanity. If he can't see it, it doesn't exist! That's how it works...

[Right?]

I'd... rather not...

[ohgodgoingcrazywhatdoidosomebodyhelpme]

[robocon]

It's not about what you want. Think about the future! Your future! Do you want to end up like me? All nuts and bolts? For god's sake- this isn't even my own skin.

[ To demonstrate: He'll lift a flap of skin from under his chin. ]

See? All of what made me a human, gone!