dear_mun | reserved @ ataraxion

Awww, yeah babe, I knew you'd be coming ba-

WAIT WHO DA FUCK ARE YOU?

[...it's just too bad Murphy isn't quite as amused.]

No.

[Because seriously WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.]

There's no talking muns out of things, Pendleton. I'm surprised you haven't figured that out already. You can't talk sense into them. You can't make them listen. It's like talking to a damn brick wall.

[she's just sort of watching him with her arms crossed right now, and there's a brief eyebrow raise at the image that last statement conjures up]

A cheetah's back? There's a line between funny and insane, and that crossed it right around the word "piss". What the hell is wrong with these people?

Then I guess I'm wasting my breath telling these people that they should have better things to obsess over. It's bad enough having a whole town picking my life under a damn microscope -- these... applications are just crazy.

[He's been wondering the same exact thing. He lifts his hands a bit.]

I have no idea. Honestly, whatever it is, I don't even want to know anymore.

They won't find something better to obsess over, trust me. I've spent almost a month trying to convince mine not to app me anywhere. You're right about those applications, though. They're crazy. My mun's been looking at places trying to decide where to send me and it's like waiting for a death sentence.

[a long-suffering sigh]

Maybe we're better off not knowing. I'm starting to think everything that's in that town is less disturbing than what's going on in these people's heads. It's just... unsettling.

[she runs a hand over her hair, her expression a tense one. Seeing him here like this is bizarre to say the least. It's not unwelcome, but it's bizarre all the same]

How've you been holding up? I've seen people look happier.

[a pause]

You're okay, right?

Tch. Mine seems dead set on this spaceship... some kind of deep space labyrinth. Still got a couple weeks or so before they start accepting again, but all that just means is that the clock's ticking.

[And he has been eying it. He's eying it good.]

Well, either way... Can't say I'm any more excited to know than you are.

[It's bad enough having to face his own ugly psyche.

[All aboard the bizarre train! Murphy isn't any less of an awkward turtle now than he was before.]

I don't know yet... All things considered, I think I could be happier.

[Doesn't help how he constantly debates with himself whether he deserves it.]

...I don't know. Guess time will tell.

Spaceship?

[she raises an eyebrow]

Sounds better than what we've been through at least. But a spaceship, really? You seem to have a habit of attracting strangeness, Pendleton.

[she gives him an odd sort of half-smile, because it's nice to see him alive and well, even if he seems agitated. She's honestly been a little worried about him since they saw each other last at her canon point. She wasn't sure if he'd make it back up to the highway alive]

Could be happier? What've you gone through, exactly... since we last saw each other?

[his ambiguous response to whether or not he's okay has her a little worried, though she's not admitting it]

It's not a habit I'm happy with -- and believe me, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

[~~Which clearly means that the UFO endings were canon all along~~.

[His shoulders sag a bit. He's not sure how he'd feel about her worrying over him all this time.]

You know... Been keeping a low profile. Still can't help but feel like I have to constantly watch my back, but I keep telling myself that's supposed to be normal. To top it all off, this mun has been rattling her head over at what point in time I'm being yanked from, so there is that.

[He looks to her briefly.]

...what about you?

[Hell if he's going to admit that he's wondered how she's been doing, too.]

Well, it's hard to be a skeptic after all of that.

[she frowns slightly at the memory of "all that". It's been more than a little difficult to forget the things they saw in Silent Hill, and it's not a good experience, thinking about it now and feeling it all come flooding back. For a moment she just stares at a spot somewhere over his shoulder]

Well, I'd suggest keeping a low profile for a while still. They've declared most of the prisoners from the crash dead, but they're still looking for you. I'll try to keep you posted. I think after everything that happened, it's normal to look over your shoulder all the time.

[she nods slightly]

Mine's been the same way. She can't decide if she wants me to be from a point where I still hate you or not. She keeps changing her mind. It feels a little violating, doesn't it? It's a real pain in the ass.

[and at the question, she pauses briefly and figures there's no point in beating around the bush with him. The least she can do is be honest, after the way she treated him when she thought he killed Frank. She still feels a little guilty]

... I killed Officer Sewell.

[she just looks at him after that, not quite sure how he's going to take it. She knows that even though Sewell manipulated Murphy, he was still someone he knew for quite a while]

No shit.

[He thinks about it all the time. Old memories and wounds ripped out of him. But it's different now. All the hate and the anger just feels like stuff that doesn't matter anymore. Because it didn't matter in the end.]

That's what I figured. I'd plans to get as far away as possible... maybe head south or west... I haven't decided yet.

[Not like he has anywhere else to go, or anyone to go back to.]

It'd be nice if they weren't so flippant about it half of the time, but I guess that's asking too much. Doesn't look like she's in any hurry to decide... yet.

[Murphy gives her a long look, before ducking his head. He knew Sewell had it coming, after what he did. But Murphy went through Hell to accept the fact that revenge didn't bring him any peace. Napier was in prison, and that should have been enough. But he just couldn't let it go.

[Now, it feels more like he's looking into a mirror.]

Christ, Cunningham...

[He can't say he's surprised, but he also can't talk without feeling like a goddamned hypocrite. They both know that this isn't what Frank would have wanted, and that's enough.]

Well, if you ever need a place to stay...

[she glances at him]

You can stay with me for a while. I owe you that at least, after the shit you went through because of me.

[an awkward monent when she shifts her weight several times and then nods in agreement]

Exactly. They act like it's nothing to fuck with our sanity the way they do, toss us around like we're their playthings. It's not decent. I'm done with it.

[the way he says it makes her give him a slightly calculating look and she crosses het arms coolly]

I know what you're thinking. My father wouldn't like it. He'd probably be disappointed as he'll, probably wouldn't even be able to look at me. But that's okay. I can handle that. Because the truth is that Sewell had to be stopped, and we all saw what happened when someone took the high road trying to stop him. I'm finished waiting for the law to do what it's supposed to when it comes to people like Sewell. I know it means I can't go back but...

[she sighs and gives him a long, long look. For the first time, she shows just how weary she is]

Even if my father would hate it, I don't regret what I've done. I made the right choice. Even if I threw my life away to do it. Even if they catch me or I have to go on the run too. It's enough knowing that son of a bitch is dead.

[she sounds defiant, though of what it's not really clear. In some ways, maybe it's Frank]

I'm sorry for everything Sewell put you through.

Thanks, but you don't have to feel like you owe me anything. I went through all of that shit because I put myself there.

[He accepts this fact now, and he's not going to keep blaming his actions on monsters like Napier anymore. Because that's the easy way out.]

I'll have to take your word for it -- but I get this feeling that I'll figure it out myself, soon enough.

[Murphy isn't about to argue with that line of logic. Even if he truly believes that the world's better off without child killers and corrupt officers, he doesn't want to see Anne go through what he had to. Though he sees it might be a bit late for that.]

You're not responsible for all the fucked up things he did, Cunningham. He gave me an offer that I felt I couldn't refuse. It was me who should've seen the signs. I made my own choices.

Sounds like you've made yours.

[Frank had warned Murphy about Sewell. It was his fault for not listening when he still had the chance. Murphy also knows that even if he hadn't been blackmailed into that situation in the first place, Sewell would've just suckered someone else to do Frank in instead. That's the sad fact, and Murphy can't bring himself to feel sorry for that bastard.

[Might as well just up and say good riddance.]

You sure you're gonna be okay, though? I mean, after everything...

I want to do something. For you. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't know the truth, and everything wouldn't have turned out. It's not the same as having my dad back, but it's the closest to a happy ending I can hope for in this fucked up world. Dad always loved to see justice play out. So if you ever need anyone... I'll be around.

[she smiles faintly]

I'm not responsible but you still deserve an apology, even if it's not from the bastard whose fault it was. You're a good man, Pendleton. You don't deserve all of this.

[she places a slightly awkward hand on his shoulder. She can't help it if it's oddly businesslike. And she nods at his question]

I'll be fine. In this line of work, you have to expect going through hell. I can't afford not to be strong. Even if sometimes it's hard to be. I'm sure you get that. I don't have to explain.

[even if sometimes she feels like she's faking that strength]

What about you?

After what happened... are we ever going to be normal again?

[it's a wonder she can't get out of her head]

[Hesitant at first, he nods.]

I'll keep that in mind...

[He can't seem to say it right, but he appreciates it -- her helping him out like that. Making sure that he got away, the best that she could...]

You're a lot more like Frank than you know.

[Maybe in some areas more than others. Still, it's all he can really say in return. After beating himself up for all those years, it's been awhile since anyone's said anything like that to him. He just doesn't want her to end up like those who usually try to help him.]

Well, you're here and I'm most likely getting shot into some spaceship from Hell. Something about that doesn't scream normal to me.

[At least it'd be considered normal by the standards of what he just went through.]

Shit, sorry... I'm not very good at sounding reassuring, am I?

[Press X To Console... Oh, wait. It doesn't matter!]

[she's surprised to hear that, especially after he just found out what she did to Sewell. For a moment she doesn't know what to say, is too affected to really react. Then she smiles, and there's nothing restrained or tense about it]

Thanks. That... means a lot more than you probably realize. I always tried to hard to be just like him. Even if somewhere along the line I turned into this terrible person who just... never mind.

[she shakes her head]

No, you're not. But you're trying, and that means more than some cheap fake sympathy or whatever else would try to pull. That's what I like about you, Pendleton. You're not full of bullshit like everybody else. I can see why Dad liked you so much.

[another small smile, and then what the hell, she figures she might as well hug him again. This situation is situation is already weird, anyway. Spontaneous burst of affection, what do?]

[Eh, he's positive that as much as Frank wouldn't have approved of it, he also wouldn't have wanted his daughter to hold that baggage over her head for the rest of her life. Not in the way that Murphy did. Still, he wouldn't abandon his own.

[He shrugs.]

Hey... What matters now is how we deal with it, right?

[Just like what JP had said. Suddenly, his words made a bit more sense, in retrospect.

[Her words are a bit too kind, he believes. He can't help but duck his head sheepishly.]

Guess I wanted to be more like him, too.

[asdf and surprise hugs. He'd been deprived of this kind of physical contact for so long that he'd almost forgotten what it felt like. But he still remembers how to hug back, so that's a victory on his part.]

I guess so. But I'm not really dealing with it very well, either. I feel like there's not a lot I've done lately that he'd be proud of.

[between becoming completely consumed with the thought of revenge and systematically alienating nearly everyone she's close to, she's not exactly batting 1,000 in the daughter of the year category. Part of he almost wants to laugh fondly at the way he ducks his head, almost like he's physically shying away from any kind of compliment, but she figures it might be too familiar for her to do to him, especially when things are so strange. When he returns the hug it's heartening, and something about the way he does it makes her feel like it's been a while. So she just squeezes him and lets the hug last for now. She's missed this sort of thing too]

You're like him, you know. In your own way. What Sewell said in the showers, about how you couldn't finish off that guy before... I feel like he would have been proud if he knew. That's the kind of thing he'd respect, even if he'd say you shouldn't have started to begin with.

And even though I did what I did... I'm glad you couldn't go through with it either. I sort of wondered, after we me, how somebody who was the way you were ocould murder someone. I should have realized you didn't. It was just too suspicious all along. I guess I just wanted so badly to believe there was something I could do about what happened that I never questioned whether it was actually you.

... I guess I owe you an apology.

Just try not to get yourself locked up. Cuffs and prison bars don't suit you.

[Murphy hasn't been any better of a father. Too distracted by his personal vendetta to kill a man when all he wanted -- all he needed -- was forgiveness. To not go by every damn day telling himself that he wasn't good enough, that he'd never be good enough, and it was his fault that he'd never see his son again. Anne gave him what Carol couldn't. Three small words that had meant everything to him.

[What Murphy had done to Napier was purely visceral. He imagined every day what it was like, making him bleed, cry, beg. Maybe if he made the monster that hurt his boy hurt back, plead for his life, that he would find peace again.

[He was stupid.]

To be fair, the circumstances were pretty messed up. Nobody would've believed my word over an officer's, anyway.

[He pauses.]

But you're right. Sewell had to be stopped. Your father couldn't turn a blind eye to it -- neither should you.

Unless I'm on the outside of them, right?

[she can't help smiling a little at that]

I'll try to be careful. I guess there's not too much I can do, though. I used a registered weapon, so there's always a chance I could get caught. It'll still be worth it if I do, though. Anything that happens now, I can take.

[she looks troubled when he says that, though. A frown overtakes her features]

No, none of that's any excuse. I should have at least looked into it. I saw your records. Clean psyche analysis, no priors. Hell, you weren't even a violent offender. And I knew my dad was trying to bring down Sewell. I just... bought in right away. I was just... so sick when I found out. I needed someone to blame. I had to punish someone. You just ended up caught in it because of what happened with that deal. I shouldn't have just... written you off as a monster so quickly.

[he gets a squeeze then, and she sounds oddly tired, like all of this is too much]

You never deserved to be written off by anyone. I feel like it's happened a lot to you, I don't know why.

What I think I hated the most about you before was that it was hard to keep seeing a monster when I looked at you, even though I thought you'd killed him. You were just so... decent.

Right.

[He doesn't even want to think about what Frank would say if he ever saw his daughter with an inmate number on her back. He could still hear his voice from time to time -- lingering on the back of his mind. Impossible to shake. Maybe that's why it's so unsettling to him.]

If things get too hairy, though... it's okay to run. Sewell's life not worth yours.

[He almost makes it sound easy. But that's what he had to do, and it's what he'll keep on doing, probably for the rest of his life. Just run.]

Christ, you realize that if anyone ever had the sense to look into that stuff in the first place... Well, that'd be it, wouldn't it? But it's a damn miracle I even lived long enough to get transferred after what happened.

[That, and all the time spent in solitary confinement tacked a couple years onto his lifespan at Ryall. Sewell had made a point that cop killers didn't make it very long. Frank may not have died right away, but he'd seen his fair share of murderous scowls from prison guards. After awhile, he got used to it.

[He hangs his head, holding back a laugh just in spite of himself.]

Can't say I didn't ask for it, sometimes.

[she gives a brief nod, and a long, slow sigh relaxes her body slightly, letting her shoulders slump. It's just a partial, temporary release of tension but it makes her feel better anyway]

Yeah, you're right. I can't just stick around and wait to get caught as it is, though. There are security cameras everywhere in Ryall, you know. I'm surprised they haven't come and broken down my door already.

[this constant state of feeling the impending doom of this situation is starting to take its toll on her. She supposes she knows how he feels now, even if she's not literally running. Yet]

It's a little depressing to think now that both of our lives ended up like this; trying to make someone pay for our losses and ending up having to pay ourselves. Because I know I'm not going to get away with it, and you're already paying by having to spend the rest of your life like this...

[and then she gives something between a smile and a frown at that statement of his. She knows it's true, but it should not have to be. He shouldn't have had to go through everything he went through, but there's really no getting justice for him, not now. As much as she hates to think about it, it's too late for Murphy. There's not much she can do. What she's doing right now, this awkward attempt at consolation and a hug, is all she can really do for him]

Well, yeah. You're right. Someone should have at least... [she shakes her head] Everyone knew Sewell was crooked. It was obvious to even me after meeting him what... twice? Someone should have done something and it should have been me. None of this should have had to happen. It's all... so fucked up. Everything about this situation and what happened. All of it. It makes me wonder about this job, Pendleton.

[she's not sure why she's telling him all of this, but the floodgates are open, and there's no stopping it. At least it's good to talk to someone who doesn't have any reason to judge her for it, though]

Here I thought it was about keeping the inmates safe from each other, keeping the staff safe from the inmates. But now I'm starting to think it's been about covering for the people who really did it all along, even if we don't realize it. It shouldn't be about... protecting everyone from the guards. It shouldn't be like this.

[she bits back the rest of her rambling and actually outright glares at him at that, though it's more of a frustrated glare than an angry one]

How did you ask for it? How did you ask to be written off?

[her tone is an odd one, and it's difficult to read]

Are you just... programmed to blame yourself for everything? Because everything isn't your fault, you know. Why do you keep letting all the blame fall on you? I feel like you're just completely content with spending the rest of your life as some kind of willing scapegoat.

[Caim will just be over here, wondering what a cheetah is and how best to kill it. Don't mind him.]

[It's an unusual change of pace after leaving the town, to say the least. It's weird, after she spent most of the time being pissed off and pointing a gun at his head, but hey. He can't complain either way.]

I know...

[He nods, hardly a stranger to that feeling.

[If it's one thing that Sewell had right, it was covering up all of his dirty messes. Of course, that's what landed Murphy in the mud in the first place.

[He can't help but look, and even feel a bit guilty:]

No. Not everyone. I didn't... I always figured Sewell was a bastard, but regardless of all the warning signs, I didn't care. I needed someone else to blame just as much as you did, and he helped me get there. It just... It wasn't what I really wanted.

[It wasn't that he wanted Napier dead, though it made him sick to his stomach knowing that that monster breathed the same air as he did. It was that he wanted Charlie to be alive again. Just killing a man wasn't going to change anything. He'd lost control, and it cost him the life he knew.]

It isn't right, but that's happens. You spend enough time on the other side of the bars, you start to notice that it's not just the fucking inmates that you have to watch out for. Nobody gives a damn about what happens to murderers and rapists and thieves.

[Why should they? He has a hard time imagining Wayside being full of sunshine and rainbows, either.

[He swallows, and looks down. He knows what she's saying, but he retreats from it, falling back a few steps from her, like he carries something that might be contagious if he's not careful enough.]

Guess I am. It was my fault that my son...

[He stops himself before he can finish that, his voice shuddered for a moment. But no. No, it really wasn't. He didn't have to go into the guilt and the self-loathing that factored into the poor life choices he's made. That was why he went through all of that. That's why he's here. Everyone needed someone to blame for what happened... and it didn't help that Carol had blamed him. He just carried that weight to the police cruiser that sent him down that ten-hour chase.]

You don't know what it was like, seeing them pull my boy's body from the lake, having to bury him, and... He was so small. All I could think about was that it should have been me down there, maybe several years from now, because that's how it's supposed to be. I kept thinking how he'd still be alive if maybe I had been there to protect him. Every day I woke up, and I was reminded how I'll never hear him laugh, see him smile, watch him grow up, go on dates, drive me crazy.

[His arms helplessly slack to his sides.]

Dammit, it should have been me...

["It's not your fault."]

[Murphy will just be over here... Uh, with his hands out, basically like "Can I help you?" or something.

[Seriously, what's with the staring?]

reserved @ ataraxion

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LMFAO GODDAMMIT BRO, YOU'RE KILLING ME

pardon me while I make his life a little more horrible <3

hjfgd excuse me while i flail in unadulterated glee

We can flail together XD

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truth and justice was the best ending. just sayin'...

It really was <3 it gets me every time

that one and the surprise endings are my favorite. going to the execution ending my next playthrough

Mine too XD that surprise ending had me rolling. I'm going for Full Circle this time

it was definitely one of the best of the joke endings in the series, haha

It was actually really adorable XD

i just lost it at "aw you guys..."

Everything about it was just so amazingly silly <3

shh, silent hill is serious business!

Oops you're right!

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asdf i spent too long trying to write this because it was 81 degrees and my brain baked

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