The Mun being a horrible, horrible troll

[ibarakasen]

No it would not be 'funny' if someone 'apped' in Shuten-Douji, it would be a total mess. I am not and never have been married to anyone!

Stop snickering about it every time you think about it!

[She mad.]

Comments

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

...If you aren't married t'the this Shootin' Dojo guy, why're you gettin' so angry?

[ibarakasen]

[Marisa, you are not helping :|]

Because I-

[Totally forgot she's supposed to be pretending to be a hermit]

... I do not wish to end up in any kind of relationship with him.

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

What, you think yer mun's giggling is gonna get this guy's attention and make it real?

My mun ships me with Reimu and Nitori, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna end up datin' either of them, ze. It's still my choice, no matter what.

[ibarakasen]

... Whispers have been moving around that it may happen anyway. Putting me into the line of fire is only natural to come next and...

[Sigh]

Nevermind.

Let's just say it makes things really unnecessarily complicated.

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

So yer mun is thinkin' that, on account of this guy showin' up no matter what, she'll tease you t'death?

Pretty low, if you ask me.

[ibarakasen]

... This is apparently what 'mundanes' do.

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

...Well, yeah. But I never woulda expected they woulda riled you up. Reimu, sure. Hell, even Sanae. But a hermit?

[ibarakasen]

[Urk.]

... In my lifetime, I have simply come to hear unsavory stories about such a creature. I don't want to associate with them.

[Er]

Besides, it would interrupt things with the Shinigami.

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

Oh, is he one of them? I didn't much expect that it was just Komachi and the Yama, ze. Not with how dangerous Gensokyo gets.

[ibarakasen]

No.

No he is not related to Komachi or the Yama. He is something else. It would merely interrupt things with the Shinigami.

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

Oh, I get it, ze! You want to marry the Shinigami!

[ibarakasen]

...

No.

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

Reimu?

[Okay, now she's just fucking with you.]

[ibarakasen]

No, and don't be that way.

[Close enough.]

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

No fun.

[ibarakasen]

[It's all fun and games until you hit a little too close to home]

Sorry. But this sort of talk isn't the kind to put me in a good mood.

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

I'm curious what DOES put you in good moods.

[Aside from poisonous lightning rats.]

[ibarakasen]

[You know? Not much. Kasen is the grumpiest oni hermit.]

What do you mean? I'm not always in a bad mood. I just so happen to be in one now.

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

And any time you aren't lecturing. I mean, yeah, it's your job, being a hermit and all. But it's always "grump grump grump don't go to the hotsprings, they'll give you vengeful spirit gas" or something, ze.

[ibarakasen]

... No, if you go to the hot springs they'll kill you. Does death mean nothing to you humans? You have short life spans, so you should try to avoid it as much as possible!

[lovecoloredhyperbeam]

...Which is why you're here, right? You're being awfully stingy on those secrets to long life, though.

[ibarakasen]

It's because it is not something I can teach all at once. If I wrote down a list it still would not be enough because it wouldn't cover certain criteria.

I will share what I know as things progress, Marisa. You'll know before long.

[Or you'll find out she's an oni.

One or the other.]