dear_mun | dkjfhkjdsfhjdd

Well. If you're sure that you're fine... [ ALL THE UNSURE because you do not look okay at all. ] Do you need anything, or. Do you have an inhaler that I can get or?

[ ...Oh lord, cue facepalm.gif. ] You mean that whole little initiative project from S.H.I.E.L.D. that Agents Barton and Romanoff talk about? N-no, I'm. I'm not with that. At all. I mean, after all, I'm... I'm obviously not hero material. Clearly. I mean, they're trying to corral all of us, but. I don't really think - even if they did manage it - that it'd last long anyway. It's j- I mean. It's downright ridiculous.

[This is clearly the least awkward conversation ever.]

I don't think I have asthma, I'm cool, it'd be ridiculous to have asthma when you're fighting aliens and stuff, right?

[It'll be like HEY FIGHTING ALL THE EVIL and then suddenly you're on the floor wheezing. That's so undignified.]

But— [HAWKEYE AND BLACK WIDOW OH SHHHHDFGJDFG yeah he'll be having a tiny mental breakdown if he gets there, it'll be like Disneyland when he realizes the versions on there are 10 times nicer.] But no, what are you talking about? You're one of the first in the Avengers, you're like, a core member! You're one of the biggest heroes ever (in every sense of the word, too but yeah) and you can't— I mean you could not join but.

[ :( 8( :'( ]

You're one of my heroes.

[ Oh yeah. ]

...I wouldn't know, r- Certainly not about aliens. At all. [ Wait. He forgot about that one guy. ] Other than Thor, but I haven't really fought him, so.

I'm talking ab- It's-- [ ladsfhuawklefawef OH LORD HOW DO SHOT DEALING WITH ALTERNATE REALITIES. ] Is this the whole... Parallel dimensions thing? Because Quicksilver mentioned something about being on the Ultimates, but. Even though I don't think he's lying, it's really kind of hard to imagine me being all. ...Of that. It's.

[ askjdaflsjd not the puppy faces Billy pleaseeeeee he can't handle it ;; ]

Uh. Maybe you have me confused with somebody else, because I'm. You're.

Oh. Well. It's not really that big of a deal, I think. [Why is it that normal things = all the failures when it comes to Billy, but get the ball rolling on parallel universes and time travel and magical sparkly shojo things and he's all sup bro?] It happens more often than it should where I'm from so you kind of get the hang of it.

Time travel's worse, really - you never figure out what you can and can't change until too late.

[BUT AAAH THOR THOR THOR there's a reason he went on being called Asgardian for a while back and vaguely Billy feels like he's cheating on Teddy emotionally, here. SOBBING.]

Quicksilver... we met. Like, before, and not here, but yeah, he's also from a different place and time than us, but that's okay. He was nice.

[For a supersized version of Tommy.]

[ Sorry, Billy, staring at you because if ALTERNATE REALITIES/PARALLEL DIMENSIONS are 'not really that big of a deal' then. Life does not sound simple and normal for you at all and what does that bode for his future, ohgod. ] ...The-the hang of it. Right. That's. ...Reassuring except where it's kind of not.

[ Not even touching the time travel thing. At all. N O P E. ]

Yes, he's. I mean, he's got a few rough edges, not going to beat around that bush, but. [ Tiny smile. ] He's a good guy. A friend.

[IT MEANS SPECIAL THINGS like having the Hulk teach at a school or smth like that, you know, totally sensible things like that. You can laugh, go ahead, it's so funny it's almost sad.]

Considering that... technically Tommy and I are spirit twins, I think it's safe to say we're uh. Yeah I'll just shut up about that, actually. It can be a headache mapping out the whole Things That Go Wrong In This Universe thing.

Just trust me, you're a big hero. You're important and you're cool.

[N E R D]

Does he really have those antennae things though? Are those there all the time?

[ Professor Hulk asdhfuaiwlekjfaw the image alone is enough to kill with funny. Sob. ]

Spirit tw- That's. [ All the blinking because Tommy what you are talking about is. It's. There are no words. So instead he'll focus on the obviously most important part here: ] I've never been cool. ...Ever.

...What, the hair? That's. I don't know, since I'm not around him all the time, but. Whenever I've seen him, he's had them. Guess his hair just grows like that. [ S H R U G ]

[Self-consciously patting his unruly hair down now, oh no, what if he gets that kind of hair too? What if Tommy does? What if it's something that crosses through the universes and plain genetics, jdfdhkjjgdfkjjjj cockroach hair is not attractive!!!]

My boyfriend thinks you're cool, too, so I'm not alone on that. See? This is a self-esteem thing, right? Like, you have bad days t— Er. Haha, yeah, bad days.

[REAL SMOOTH YEAH i mean it's not like Bruce Banner's the Hulk, Billy, you're so funny gd it just shut up]

I'm really bad at this.

[ asdfyhgawielfkjawenhflakjwf oh god Billy why are you so adorable stop that right this instant ]

Your boyfriend. Is he in this whole, uh, "hero" [ Yes, he did just do the air quotes there. ] thing too, or. Is it ju-

[ WINCING. FOREVER. BECAUSE YEAH. YEAH. ] Trust me, thi- So far this is a good day. Compared to the alternatives, it's. Very good. [ Ahaaaaaaa ahaaaaaaa fuck his life forever brb crying inside and repressing it like a boss. ] And you're n- I mean, I'm not sure how well a conversation like this could go, but.

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