What rock did you crawl out from under, good sir - and more importantly, can I put you back?

[oceansbane]

And a good morning to you, too, Mundane - if only in a ridiculously technical sense.

Don't think that I haven't seen the irony; I already know what you're going to tell me. After all of the yelling I've done to be let off that island - after all the bargaining, negotiating, flat-out threatening that I've done...after all of that, you think I've come crawling back. To ask you to be let back on.

And you know what? I'm a reasonable man on good days. And today has been a good day. So maybe I'll let you have your little point. But this issue runs far, far deeper than that, and you know it.

Five months since the last time I had to give you a few small suggestions, isn't it? And I haven't been seen since. Did you really think that I would just fall silent? That you could forget about Team Magma - about my goals? That I would let you forget?

Because if that's the case, then you don't know me at all anymore.

So start reading, Mundane. It's been a while since I've been so close to the surface here, and once we're done having this little chat, we've got a lot of reminiscing to do.

Comments

[magmaticflamberge]

Well, how have you been? Aside from not inhabiting this realm.

[He's just decided he wants to try and be nice to you!]

[oceansbane]

...that latter part would be the problem, you know.

[oh boy

this always goes so well]

[magmaticflamberge]

Ah, you bring no tales from the afterlife? Fair enough. Just hearing the sound of your voice is enough to lift my spirits.

I know you are unable to say the same about me, but... I really am happy that you seem to be fine, after all. Your goals remain unchanged, I assume?

[It does, doesn't it?]

[oceansbane]

Even if I were to have anything interesting to say about the afterlife, I doubt that I'd be allowed to repeat it to the living. That's how these things tend to work, I believe.

Although I wouldn't know for sure, as I don't make a practice of dying horribly. I'll be sure to take notes for you, next time.

[All aboard the hot mess express, let's be real.]

As for my goals...of course, Edmond.

[magmaticflamberge]

That, about your goals, I am most glad to hear. And yet, owing to this unfortunate history of animosity between us... I have no place in your superior plans, do I? And no hope to ever obtain it.

Ah, well. As a nobleman, perhaps idleness suits me more than working. Do pass by my place when you become bored with cheaper alcohol.

[oceansbane]

At the very least, you know I won't turn down the alcohol.

[Were that said in all seriousness, that would have been incredibly passive-aggressively mean, he's sure; fortunate, then, that his tone is obviously a teasing one.]

[magmaticflamberge]

And there is more I can offer, Maxie. So much more.

To you, it will sound like I have said this before. But I can assure you I am no longer the pusillanimous individual who betrayed you, my dear. And I burn with the desire to show you how I have changed.

[oceansbane]

[...you're no longer the...]

...well, I suppose it's good to see that your vocabulary certainly hasn't.

Either way. We'll see.

[magmaticflamberge]

Ah, of course. We will see.

You look magnificent, Maxie. Absolutely splendid. Ah, what a blessing it would be, to have you in my arms again! I envy the ground that your perfect feet walk on. The earth that held you in its warm embrace for so long...

[... It turns out that loneliness is the perfect breeding ground for unhealthy thoughts! Who knew?]

[oceansbane]

[...YEP HERE WE GO

ALL

ABOARD

THE HOT MESS EXPRESS]

...I'd wondered when you were going to start with that.

[magmaticflamberge]

And how do you feel, my dearest? Flattered? Irritated? Scared?

Tell me all, Maxie.

[oceansbane]

I don't see how that's anything you deserve to know.

[magmaticflamberge]

Ah, I love it when you hurt me.

But you've hurt me enough that I've become resilient. Like the Zangoose that I raise, I am harmed by the bite and sting of your words, but not by their silent, lingering venom. And for that, my dear, I am immensely grateful to you.

[oceansbane]

...believe it or not, Edmond, there's a difference between trying to hurt you and simply pointing out that you're being creepy as hell.

[magmaticflamberge]

[A light laugh.]

Is that so? Perhaps my yearning for you has turned into an infection of my mind and spirit.

In that case, you are the only one who can administer the cure, I fear.

[oceansbane]

Well. That sounds like a personal problem, and I wish you the best of luck in dealing with it.

[magmaticflamberge]

But you must accept that my dealing with it must necessarily involve you.

[oceansbane]

Actually, no, it doesn't.

[magmaticflamberge]

Ah, I am confident you will not shun me so for much longer still.

I want you, Maxie, dearest. And this time, I will stop at nothing to have you.

[oceansbane]

Again, your problem, not mine.

[magmaticflamberge]

Ah, it is, isn't it...

I believe you won't mind this problem of mine, if you just allow me to get close enough.

[oceansbane]

Actually, I will, and you won't. Back the hell off.

[magmaticflamberge]

Ah, your refusal is new, dry wood to my fire. You will be mine yet, Maxie.

[must_do_well]

Oi!!

[[SUDDENLY, AN ADMIN....?]]

The boss said stop, so you're gunna stop!

[magmaticflamberge]

Ah... so you're one that he likes better than me...

Very well. Far be it from me to waste the time of one who enjoys such a privilege.

[He... actually sounds sad, rather than smug here.]