tentatively checking out games for asshole mcthneedy.

[hyphens]

Your first mistake is assuming just anywhere will do. That seed I've been keeping in storage? It's mine. Take it along as part of the inventory or what-all, plant it and grow my truffula trees wherever you toss me so I can continue to expand my empire. It's only a symbolic little thing so far, but you'll be putting the cogs into action and working with what we've got —

Ted? And just who is that? If you think I'm handing over the opportunity to take my business elsewhere, to a kid, you've got another thing coming — !




Don't like my terms? I don't care. You'll be working for me now, mundane.

Understand that.

Comments

[hyphens]

[ Slips aside, evading that thneed like he knows exactly how it moves. Really, Sanzo, trying to strangle the Once-ler with his own creation? For shame. ]

Not today, thanks.

[heardyoucall]

Oh no, I really think it has to be today.

[He advances slowly.]

[hyphens]

Try and wrap me in that and all you'll do is tangle me up with you.

[ Aren't threats fun, Mr. No Touchy? ]

[heardyoucall]

You think so?

[They are one of his favorite hobbies. Sanzo launches the thneed.... only to have it backfire as its odd shape causes an even odder movement in the air and it plummets to the ground like a suicidal bat not even a foot in front of the Once-ler. Sanzo seems... unsure as to what's just happened.]

...

1/2

[hyphens]

[ Blinks, watching the material flop in an anti-climatic pile. ]

[hyphens]

[ CLEARS HIS THROAT, scooping the thneed up to dust off. ]

Are you done?

[heardyoucall]

...it doesn't even fly through the air properly.

[hyphens]

You didn't turn it into a parachute or a kite first! T'ch, see, this is why listening is your friend.

[heardyoucall]

...you have to turn it into something just to throw it...

[He drags a hand down his face.]

[hyphens]

No, that's —

Are you for real? You're seriously getting flummoxed by something so simple even children use it.

[heardyoucall]

What's to get flummoxed by? It's garbage.

[hyphens]

I think I can feel a migraine coming on.

[heardyoucall]

Why not use your brilliant product to relieve it.

Or is relieving a migraine not one of its "million and one" uses.

[hyphens]

No? Because it's not medical treatment, what - what are you doing, are you trying to get me to make a fraudulent claim on my own product?

[heardyoucall]

What do you mean? It can't relieve migraines. I'm sure the market for people being pink whatsits to relieve migraines is relatively small.

At the most you'll lose maybe... 10% of your clients.

[hyphens]

No, I won't, because it's never been claimed to relieve them in the first place. You're leading yourself in circles.

[heardyoucall]

So the people you're selling them to aren't dumb enough to believe they will regardless? Because they've been told maybe 5% of the "million and one" uses, right? Half of the "need" behind this stupid pink piece of trash is what people invent themselves.

And considering the sales-pitch the other you gave me, the only circle I see is the hole in your logic.