tentatively checking out games for asshole mcthneedy.

[hyphens]

Your first mistake is assuming just anywhere will do. That seed I've been keeping in storage? It's mine. Take it along as part of the inventory or what-all, plant it and grow my truffula trees wherever you toss me so I can continue to expand my empire. It's only a symbolic little thing so far, but you'll be putting the cogs into action and working with what we've got —

Ted? And just who is that? If you think I'm handing over the opportunity to take my business elsewhere, to a kid, you've got another thing coming — !




Don't like my terms? I don't care. You'll be working for me now, mundane.

Understand that.

Comments

[heardyoucall]

Hoh...? Another one sprouts.

You seems to be a little different from the one who threw this at me though.

[He produces a thneed from somewhere in his robes. Wait, you kept it after saying it was so dumb, Sanzo?]

[hyphens]

Lucky you, getting your hands on it. They're in high demand!

[ Oho, he's been around a while, but this Once-ler is a sight slipperier than his fluffy bros. ]

[heardyoucall]

...then it's you.

[In irritation, he growls.]

You're the one who sings those damned songs my mundane keeps listening too...

[hyphens]

You know — [ Casually DRAPING a lanky arm around your shoulders now, Sanzy-baby. ] — that's really only to be expected. I mean, I'm a sensation, how long were you expecting to keep your head buried in the sand?

[ Thumps him on the back. Cockiest shit around, yep. ]

Tell me one thing, friend, did my sweet otherself make you pay for this quality thneed?

[heardyoucall]

[You get a gun to the face and a bit of a flail of indignant anger.]

Don't fucking touch me!! No, he didn't sell it! He threw it at me after failing to tell me what his stupid thing even was!!

Touch me again and I'll kill you!!

[hyphens]

[ WELL, someone's t o u c h y. Without missing a beat (but maybe skipping back a couple of steps) he shrugs harmlessly. ]

... That thneed could stop people touching you, if you stopped for five seconds to try it out properly.

[heardyoucall]

...this pink piece of garbage that looks like it was made by an Alzheimer's patient? I doubt it.

[He's still wiping at his shoulder where you touched him.]

1/2

[hyphens]

It isn't garbage.

[hyphens]

You just haven't given it a shot! You'll never get anywhere in life if you don't take a chance here and there. It could be a coat, a scarf, a rope to yank people out of your way!

Just use your ... imagination.

[heardyoucall]

[Sanzo looks at it.]

...any way I look at this...

[He looks back at Once-ler.]

It looks like garbage. Truly.

[hyphens]

Okay, so you're a very short-sighted individual, I grasped that three minutes ago. Are we not moving beyond to the part where you school yourself on how to use a thneed? Not at all?

I haven't got all day to state the obvious.

[heardyoucall]

...

[Oh ho. Wait. He's found a very good use for it. Come here, Once-ler, Sanzo wants to wrap it around your neck.]

Come to think of it, you could use a scarf for that scrawny neck...

[hyphens]

[ Slips aside, evading that thneed like he knows exactly how it moves. Really, Sanzo, trying to strangle the Once-ler with his own creation? For shame. ]

Not today, thanks.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

It's a seed, so why not just-

[She shrugs]

You know plant it and see it grow!

[hyphens]

Well, I'd have to on an altogether new world, wouldn't I? How else am I going to grow even more trees to harvest for my business? And once they're all gone it's a simple wash, rinse, repeat! I'll do whatever I want with them.

It's my seed so they're my trees. Mine.

[heardyoucall]

Oh no, I really think it has to be today.

[He advances slowly.]

[whitescalesbigmouth]

Greedy aren't you?

[She knows a robot with the exact same problem.]

[hyphens]

You're not very smart, are you? This is my livelihood we're talking about.

[hyphens]

Try and wrap me in that and all you'll do is tangle me up with you.

[ Aren't threats fun, Mr. No Touchy? ]

[whitescalesbigmouth]

[Insulting a person who has another form you haven't found out about yet, Oncie? And you're calling her dumb?]

How about you find another livelihood then? One that doesn't cause so much destruction or whatever.

[heardyoucall]

You think so?

[They are one of his favorite hobbies. Sanzo launches the thneed.... only to have it backfire as its odd shape causes an even odder movement in the air and it plummets to the ground like a suicidal bat not even a foot in front of the Once-ler. Sanzo seems... unsure as to what's just happened.]

...

1/2

[hyphens]

[ Blinks, watching the material flop in an anti-climatic pile. ]

[hyphens]

[ CLEARS HIS THROAT, scooping the thneed up to dust off. ]

Are you done?

[zerofucksgiven]

Way to not let them tell you what to do, man! Waaaaaaay too bossy, these writer-people.

[heardyoucall]

...it doesn't even fly through the air properly.