Death Counts and Robot Love Triangles

[zerotohero]

How did I even...?

Mun, how am I going to do this? I can't just... choose between them! I'll hurt one of them if I do...

[And he'll hurt both of them if he doesn't.]

I just... want both of them to be happy. Is that too much to ask? I lo-care about them both, and, well... what am I going to do? I'm stuck either way.

[Sigh. Man this romance thing is much more complicated than it seems on the outside. Isn't there a manual out there somewhere that clearly outlines rules for this sort of thing? Because Optimus can really use it about now.]

And will you quit trying to kill me off? Death isn't a game you know!

[Third times the charm?]

No! I'm not going to worry everyone just because you find it fun! Can't we try something else?

Comments

[perceptiveone]

[Love is an unorthodox thing that can be deleted to make room for more information, so Perceptor does not give sympathy, you drop out.]

Love. A a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Usually singular.

[See? Singular.]

Perhaps it would be in best interest to prevent a possible death if you happen to come across a dangerous situation.

[zerotohero]

[He didn't come here to gather sympathy >|]

I... that's good to know?

[How does that help him and who are you anyway?]

You don't say.

[perceptiveone]

[He is monkey man.]

Input of the two you have affections for would be most satisfactory.

[zerotohero]

[The mun agrees.]

Er... Agent Blurr and... Black Arachnia.

[Maybe he should have kept that to himself...]

[perceptiveone]

[That face remains unchanged.]

Blackarachnia. Decepticon class Cybertronian. Do not engage.

Agent Blurr. Currently on off-world solo mission. Do not engage.

[He's such a big help.]

[zerotohero]

Thanks for your help, sir.

[It's a little too late to be told that he shouldn't engage with either of them 8V]

[perceptiveone]

[Pretend this icon is what his face really looks like. He's happy on the inside, lineface on the outside.]

Please. Call me Perceptor.

[hailthenarc]

Maybe you should just stop sucking at living. That would be nice. By the way I'm keeping a tally of how many times you've died in relation to how many people you're thinking of banging bumpers with. You are two for two.

[youlivetoserveme]

[Oh we're sorry, we didn't hear you over the sound of the Shredder's desire for seafood.]

[hailthenarc]

Bitch I was not even talking to you, you get your skank ass out I'm having a conversation over here.

[zerotohero]

[Wait what?]

[hailthenarc]

Hi!

[zerotohero]

Hello?

[Awkward smile.]

[hailthenarc]

How are yoooou? Potential third death and dramatic robot love triangles asiiiiiide?

[zerotohero]

I don't even know why she likes doing it...

But aside from that, I'm okay. How about you?

[hailthenarc]

Because it's fun! Why would you ask us something like that, it's half the reason we do it in the first place! For shits and giggles.

Oh I'm just peachy. Planning some things out, it's gonna be real fun. Watch where you step for a while. And if you see a hugeass shadow, move out of the way. It's actually not the sky falling, though it does start with it.

[zerotohero]

[Oh well... that's all really good to know.]

Thank you?

Wait, what's going to happen?

[a_father_to_his_men]

Forgive me if this is a bit intrusive, but, don't you think it is a rather bit unfair, not only to think that you could provide happiness for both, but, have you attempted to find out their feelings on the matter? I don't meant to say that you can't make both of them happy, but if there is no possibility of compromise between the two then I seems a bit much to think that you can still deliver such for them both.

[He really shouldn't be giving relationship advice, since he is so bad at his own, but outside view and all that.]

[zerotohero]

[He's just a babby, he has no idea what to do about any of this.]

I don't know how much happiness I could give either of them, I just want them to be... you know... happy in general.

[Someone's low self-esteem is showing.]

[a_father_to_his_men]

[Presumably he is doing better then Megatron is.]

I would suggest to give them the chance to find that happiness on their own. It can be hard to watch the people you care so deeply for struggle with something like that if they are, but I think that it lets them appreciate the outcome that much better.

But don't be afraid to look for your own happiness either, everyone deserves to find that.

[None of that, Megatron wont let that stay that way.]

[nothinglikeabee]

Maybe hero-bot should just shut self in chatty-bot's closet hiding space and avoid everything. Seems safest.

[Pause.]

And if chatty-bot winds up in closet again...

[Well, you'll have a rather pissy Wasp on your case, big guy.]

[zerotohero]

I'm not going to hide Wasp.

[Even though part of him wants to.]

I... I don't know if he will or won't...

[insert inner flailing here]

[nothinglikeabee]

But then hero-bot would stop dying and worrying other-bots.

[Wasp logic, you can has some.]

Better not!

[Because if you hurt Blurr again, Wasp will slagging lock you in the closet!]

[pectoralmutt]

Welcome to the death club pal, you get a free bucket of booze.

[red_the_nightless_castle]

In fact, I've got it right here!

[And bam. One of the left-over energon/oil barrels from Karaoke Night. Yeah, she dragged it all the way from the game.]

Drink up. And look at the bright side - when you die, you won't have to worry about that pesky romantic tangle, because it'd be dumb to fall for someone whose most profitable skill was being not-alive.

[namesnotzippy]

...

[Excuse me.]

[zerotohero]

[Ohshit.

They don't know about each other yet.]

...Hi Blurr...

[namesnotzippy]

...

[He's silent. That's a bad thing.]

[zerotohero]

Blurr... I was just... I wanted to... She...

L-Let me explain...

[namesnotzippy]

...

[And he flips a table.]

[zerotohero]

[Well Slag.]

...

[He's in a lot of trouble isn't he?]

[namesnotzippy]

[He's watching you.]

[zerotohero]

[So he's going to notice all those times he's snuck off to seek Black Arachnia?

Good to know.]