dear_mun | AU Kaidan | Spoilers for ME3 possible?

Stop us? Why?

Shep... ard?

[There's a slight pause, a look of confusion.]

My mun said there would be different versions of you, didn't think she meant this different.

And you know why I have to stop you. You're working against Cerberus, the people who want to save Earth, destroy the reapers. One time that was what you wanted too.

What happened, Shepard?

[....Fuck. She knows that look he's got.]

You're indoctrinated.

[She's taking a careful step back now, processing what her Mun showed her off this Kaiden's profile. Male version of herself, died on Virmire...]

I knew the Illusive Man was sick, but I never thought he was this sick.

I'm not the one who's changed, Kaiden. You're the one with Reaper tech controlling you.

[Almost right. Kaidan died on Virmire, Ashley lived. But still, he was familiar with male Shepard.]

I was wary when I first woke up, when I found out what had happened. But after everything they told me, that hey showed me, it hurt to accept that I had to trust people who I had seen do terrible things to others before.

I remember putting a stop to Cerberus outposts doing inhuman experiments along side you. [Not this Shepard per se, but Shepard none the less.]

The Illusive Man has done a lot of things, hell I'm still unsure if I like him putting me back together, but controlling people with reaper tech? That's not even possible. [Sorry, Shepard, any signs of reaper tech or indoctrination on Cerberus side appear 'normal' to him. Thank the Illusive Man.]

But with you've done, how can you say I'm the one indoctrinated?

Of course you don't think it's possible. You're under it yourself.

[Shepard's hand is currently on her waist because of her mental struggles -- this is not her Kaiden, but it's still Kaiden, and she wants to help him. On the other hand, she knows reasoning with him is pointless and the logical part of her brain is screaming that this is trouble and to stop him now.

But she knows that, even if she could bring herself to pull the trigger -- which she can't -- this place, this multiverse where muns rule, well, it's useless.]

What have I done, Kaiden? Tell me what the Illusive Man told you.

[His own hand will reach for his pistol, he hasn't pulled it, but he's cautious.]

That you gained his trust. Worked along side him to stop the collectors, beings controlled by the reapers. But destroyed valuable information and technology that Cerberus could have studied to fight the reapers. We would have had an upper hand when they attacked Earth, Shepard.

And now... now you're headed to Mars to stop us from gaining something that could possibly have the reapers in fear of us. The Illusive Man thinks it could control them, from what little data he's gotten so far.

If we could get control of even half of the reapers, we could use them against themselves. Stop the cycle once and for all.

[She just wants her hand close to it. To be honest, she's pretty much geared for close combat, so if it comes down to it, all she has to do is keep right in his face. But she really, really doesn't want it to come to that.]

The Reapers won't fear us, Kaiden. What the Illusive Man refuses to admit is that the Reapers can't be controlled. If he tries, he's just going to kill us all.

Yeah, I destroyed the Collector Base. I did it because I knew the Illusive Man would abuse it. But I'm not going to let him destroy everything we're working for just because he's on a power trip.

We have to destroy the Reapers, but they're beyond us. We can't control them.

[She knows it's futile, but dammit, she's going to keep trying!]

I talked to a Prothean, Kaiden. One was in stasis and we found him. He's seen the Reapers wipe out a cycle first hand. Trust me when I say I know what I'm doing.

[He seems to take her words into consideration, looks conflicted.]

What are you working for, Shepard? You say the Illusive Man will kill us all, but what have you done to stop the reapers?

[He asks this genuinely, he wants to know. But then again, he wouldn't be surprised if she didn't tell him, as they are on opposing sides.]

A prothean? I thought... on Ilos we saw that they were all dead, we've known they were. How did one survive?

I've stopped the quarian and geth war. Mordin -- a good friend of mine -- died so we could cure the genophage and recruit the krogan to help, and Wrex will make damn sure they're something better once this is over.

I've been killing myself to scrape for every inch I can get against these Reapers and every time the Illusive Man has done something that's set us back. Even the Prothean beacon we found refused to let him and [She spits the name, like it's something disgusting and poisonous.] Kai Leng access it.

If you can still think for yourself, Kaiden, then do it. Do you really think I would turn my back on everything we've done?

[A pause. That question's a bit easier to answer, yet not at all.]

He was in some sort of stasis. I don't know how it works -- even Liara couldn't figure it out. He's the only of his kind left alive.

[...]

[Shep is fully ready to tear Cerberus to shreds for this.]

Kaidan...?

[He might join you. One day. But for now...]

Shepard.

He said you would be surprised... shocked, to see me.

Kaidan, what- [Oh crap, is the Illusive Man kidnapping her squaddies now?!]

"He"? ...Cerberus.

[Bringing them back from the dead more like. Though more confusing if he didn't die for you.]

The Illusive Man, yeah.

[For as much as he knew he should be doing... something to stop Shepard, he found it more awkward than not being on opposite sides of things now. Even if this wasn't his Shepard, they were still in essence the person he'd known, the person he'd been friends with, served with to fight for the lives of countless beings. The person he had died for to make sure that they succeeded in stopping Saren.

He wanted to be mad, but part of him couldn't do it.]

You know, I wanted to believe it was all a lie, that he wasn't right. But I've seen it, Shepard. He's shown me what you've done to sabotage them. They've changed, why can't you see that?

[It's highly confusing because the last time Shepard saw him was on the Normandy, flirting like crazy with each other.]

Son of a bitch.

[This hurts more than anything else. She remembers what happened on Horizon. Every last word, every last hurt tone of voice, all of it. And to see him becomes this is... it's beyond words.]

[She looks away. She doesn't make eye contact. But the anger boils over in her voice when she speaks.]

"Sabotage"? Is that what they called me shutting down Sanctuary? Stopping Udina's coup? Saving you from Dr. Core crushing your skull? Sabotage?

I'm just getting warmed up.

[Poor, Shepard. This is rough all over.]

Dr. Eva Core?

[This gets a confused look.]

I'm supposed to be helping her get information from the Mars Archives before you can stop us. So you don't destroy the only way we can actually defeat the reapers.

[He's not gone through any of the other things, but he's heard bits concerning them.]

Sanctuary was doing fine last I knew and Cerberus has done an amazing thing there. Helping all those people. And coup? What coup? Udina has been working from inside the Council to try and make them see sense about what you're doing, Shepard. He's trying to save lives.

All the while it seems you're just trying to end them. Where's the Shepard I knew, the Shepard I fought along side?

They killed innocent people on the Citadel, Alenko! Tried to murder the Council! Tried to murder me! How can you think that could possibly be justified in any way?

[This isn't him. It's the Reaper tech talking. It's the Illusive Man taking one of the few good things in her life and ruining it. Shepard swallows hard before choking down her rage. Blind fury won't help here.]

I'm still here. Where's Alenko? Because you're not him. He'd sooner- [The word "die" won't come out.] He'd... end himself rather than become some indoctrinated puppet.

That's not--

[Not true. It wasn't! Or so he wanted to say. But Shepard's words seem to get through to him a little, if only for that moment before Shepard is speaking again.]

I died once for to protect people. On Virmire. [He died for you Shepard. For everyone that you could save. Thinking now that you were working to practically ensure everyone dies it was worse than dying again.]

And you're right, I would do it again if it would keep people safe. But that's not what's going on here. You're the one who's become the puppet, you're letting them control you and you just don't see it.

Virmire... it wasn't a choice I made lightly. [It was the second time she'd watched someone she cared for die. The second time she'd stood in the aftermath, hidden herself away, and sobbed. After Mindoir, she'd sworn never to lose someone again. And failed.]

You know me. Everything I ever did, I did to try and make things better than when I found them. [Even giving Toombs the closure he needed.] I know who I am. Do you? Because the Kaidan I know would never work for Cerberus.

So what did the Illusive Man do to you?

I know. But it was my choice just as much as it was yours.

I knew you, Shepard. But after almost three years of being dead, it seems that changed a lot of things. [And he can't look at her now, male or female Shepard, it still hurt regardless.]

I'm working with them because they're the best shot everyone has against the reapers. That used to be you, but now we can't rely on that anymore, and that's something I never though I'd see.

[A hand rubs at one of his shoulders and he'll glance at Shepard, just a little.]

The same he did for you. Gave me a second chance.

["Fight hard, Chief. Die proud." Her own words pop into her head. It feels like an eternity since that day, even if it's only been a few years.]

[She still doesn't look at Kaidan. But the fire in her voice has died out at the very least. It's... hard to scream at him. Even if he's indoctrinated, he's still the man she loves. No amount of change can erase that.]

...I never thought you'd be the kind to lose faith in me. We've been through a lot together. I don't care if you're not the same man I went through everything with. You're still Kaidan Alenko.

And I know that even Cerberus can't erase that completely.

This isn't anything I enjoy, and believe me I try to believe you have a good reason for everything, but... but I'm just not seeing it.

[Cerberus isn't letting him see it.]

By the Goddess...Kaidan?

["Abject horror" does not quite cover it. Friends and allies being turned has been a persistent, nagging fear at the back of her mind ever since Noveria, but this is worse, somehow, because not one note in her vast network has even hinted that she should prepare for it.]

What happened to you?

Virmire, Cerberus. A lot has happened...

I hear you still work with Shepard, that you're the Shadow Broker now? [With the things the Shadow Broker had done before, it just didn't add to the image Cerberus had painted of Shepard and co as being anything good.]

Virmire...? Ah. I see. She did warn me that events will have played out differently for some here. Just not this differently.

[She studies him intently, lips compressed to a thin line.]

I do still work with Shepard. She has the best chance of stopping the Reapers. I would not be able to live with myself if I didn't turn my resources towards that.

Differently is a word for it, yeah. Haven't seen my Shepard, as strange as it sounds to say that. But really, Shepard is Shepard.

[No matter if he'd only run into female ones so far. Not much changed, regardless of gender. Still the same old Shepard.]

Stopping-- she's working to stop Cerberus from gaining valuable information that could change everything. They're our best shot, Shepard helped them once, she should help them again. [There was a part of Kaidan, deep down, that hated even thinking that was the truth.]

Cerberus does not have the galaxy's best interests in mind. They have attacked its defenders first, at every turn. They are doing the Reapers' bidding, just as Saren was. Some part of you must see that.

Kaidan, you're my friend and it broke my heart to do it, but...

shouldn't you be a crater setting off geiger counters on Virmire?

Yeah. Yeah I should.

[And honestly he wonders if being just that wouldn't be better than having to fight against Shepard.]

Oooookay. You officially beat Shepard in the "creepy resurrections" field.

Thanks, Joker. Though I'm not sure this is something to be proud of.

[He doesn't say it to be ironic. After all, he thinks he's doing the right thing working with Cerberus. More he wonders if he would have been better off still dead on Virmire.]

Still with the Normandy I hear.

Your 'feelings' make you nothing more than a liability.

[Click.]

[Hey. Hey, Kai Leng. Guess who's got her pistol pressed up against the back of your head? Hint: it's Shepard.]

...You.

[Hey, Shepard. His hand is moving and it seems like his ninjato's blade is pointing in your general direction now.]

Come to protect your former lapdog, Shepard?

[Oh please, broski. She might be an Engineer, but she can break that blade as easily as those guys who hammered on the Renegade interrupt.]

Come to get killed like a dog again, Leng? Or did your master let you off the choke chain?

[~~His blade might break but it buys enough time to spam troops like crazy while he regains his shields.~~]

Killed like a dog? As I recall, your friend Thane took that honor.

[~~One word: Overload.~~]

...He said you should be ashamed of yourself for letting a terminally ill drell stop you from reaching your target.

[Don't mind if Kaidan joins the party, pistol pulled out, aimed at Shepard. He won't look at all pleased to be pointing the gun at her.

But you are currently threatening an associate of his. As much as he has no love for Kai Leng.]

Shepard. Stand down.

[Leng, on the other hand, looks quite smug about the situation.]

You heard the man.

[Son of a motherfrelling bitch. Shepard pauses for a moment. But... well... fine. But she'll try to pistol-whip Kai Leng before lowering her gun.]

This guy tried to kill the Council, Kaidan. He killed Thane and Miranda. Let me put him out of his misery.

[Kaidan doesn't move or make to attack Shepard, if only because he assumes Kai Leng will dodge the attack. The man is annoyingly nimble.]

We're only doing the reapers a favor if we keep killing each other off.

[Besides the fact that he had no idea what you were talking about. He knew of Miranda. She had worked for Cerberus previously, been one of the best operatives they'd had. Thane had been an assassin that worked with Shepard to fight the collectors.

Had Kai Leng really killed them? And the Council... his fingers tighter around his pistol, he doesn't like this, but still. He won't falter yet.]

[And Kaidan wouldn't be wrong; Leng throws himself forward in time with Shepard's movements, just narrowly avoiding the butt of her gun. Once he collects himself, he stands and tilts his head back.]

Necessary casualties in order to complete the mission. [He walks a few paces to the left, twirling the ninjato in his hand. He's ignoring Kaidan's words for now, focusing on Shepard instead.] Though I won't say I didn't enjoy it. They had it coming.

[Shepard just glances over at Kaidan with an unreadable expression on her face. It's the same poker face she used to wear whenever she was resisting the urge to just snap and kill whatever was frustrating her. Then she turns back to Kai Leng, her voice going cold and flat.]

Thane died to save the Council. Miranda died to save her sister and shut down Sanctuary. They were doing the right thing. You might have been N7 once, but you forgot what that honor means.

And you'll be just one more monster in the history books.

[By the change in her demeanor, it's obvious that he's gotten under her skin. Good.]

Lawson was nothing more than a traitor to our cause. [There's an emphasis on 'our', a brief glance over to Kaidan. The best way to get to Shepard is through her companions. Even former ones.] She held sensitive information and had to be terminated.

[The pacing starts up again, eyes on Shepard.]

As for history, you seem to forget that it's shaped by its victors.

AU Kaidan | Spoilers for ME3 possible?

Oh hai.

Oh hallo~

Shep's ME2 specs are in her journal, need to update it with ME3.

/flitters over to peek at

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/was not reading Shadow Broker stuff what are you talking about

I know nooooothing, I see nooooothing~

Good!

*shrieeeeeks*

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ahdkfj sorry I can't type today, but yes, heart breaking ;-;

Legit sobbing going on here because Alenko's my favorite. ;_;

We can sit in team Kaidan together /offers tissues

Best team, indeed. /accepts tissues

I must sleep but more feels later 8'D

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HAHAH DAFUQ

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/threadjacks out of love

/pisses off every shepard in existence by mere presence

/Shep angry! And stop stealing Anderson's Cheerios.

/eats all the cereal and contemplates pissing in all the vases.

/sics Combat Drone on, and calls in C-SEC for backup.

a;ldjfa /gets a rolled up newspaper and baps both on the nose

/whines

/sulks

/tosses a few treats

/steals them all nomnomnom

/swears treat-related revenge!

OOPS MESSING UP POSTING ORDER

shrieeeeeks