scorched apps and potential canonmates who are also ex-boyfriends.

[unparental]

Do I really need to explain why this is an awful idea? Because I think anyone who's ever watched Logan Fell in action for a single millisecond of time already knows why I'm not thrilled with you right now.

Watch it, or I'll pull out mom-voice. I might even talk about how I'm not mad, I'm disappointed.

My point is: no. Whatever you're thinking, whatever you're idly planning, whatever it is that made you make that sound? No. It's not going to happen, ever.

Comments

[lameguymove]

...should I even ask what she's plotting?

[unparental]

Nope. I'm not asking either, I'm just nipping it in the bud.

[coy]

Look as far as exes go? I have two there. Trust me, I know.

[lameguymove]

Good plan. [ He can't help but smile a little even though he knows how weird it's going to be, having Jenna in Anatole. ] Elena's gonna be so happy to see you.

[selfishing]

...You're on your way here?

[overlyemotional]

I would be offended but I'm too busy trying to convince him not to do this.

[... He wants to comment on her mom voice. How she's just as beautiful as he remembers but now might not be the time? Also, he's keeping his distance. ]

He should at least take me from an earlier point in time - like when I'm not dead.

This is all Damon Salvatore's fault.

[ Lies. It's all another vampire's fault but... he'll blame Damon! ]

[unparental]

We'll see if it works. [ hey, weird is where they all live these days. what's a little more? ] I'm going to be happy to see all of you.

[unparental]

...Ouch. How you holding up?

[unparental]

Don't sound so excited about it. [ pot or kettle, jenna. ]

[selfishing]

I don't do excitement. How've you been Jenna. The last thing I remember is you slamming the door in my face.

[unparental]

I would care, but... wait, right. You dumped me. Again. This time over email, which was really flattering and not at all the coward's way out.

[ LINE FUCKING FACE. ]

We agree on something, for once.

...Normally I'd support that, but you can take all the blame yourself for once in our lives.

[ YEAH SO JENNA MAY STILL HAVE A FEW MISAPPREHENSIONS. ]

[unparental]

Or fidelity, or honesty... [ me-ow. ] Oh, I'm great. Wish that door had actually hit your face, but other than that perfect.

[ liar liar undead pants on fire. ]

[overlyemotional]

No - I -- I told you I'd explain. But, you closed the door in my face. [ Gee, Jenna does this a lot. ] Because your niece told you not to invite me in. [ Which was rude! ]

You and him or you and me.

In this case? No, Jenna. I can't.

[unparental]

You deserved a lot more than that, Logan. [ THE DEFENSE WOULD LIKE TO SHOW EXHIBIT A: JENNA'S GENERAL LACK OF KNOWING WHAT'S REALLY UP. then the defense needs a drink and to lay down, so the defense rests. ] Because you dumped me, again. Elena was just the kick in the butt I needed. [ denied, sir. denied. ]

You're scum, but that doesn't mean I want you dead. [ beat. ] And I'm not thrilled with me dead, either.

Let me guess-- something came up. Or you tripped, and random waitress number twelve's enhanced chest just broke your fall.

[overlyemotional]

No, actually. I was bitten. By Vicki Donovan.

[ Feel horrible, Jenna. ]

[unparental]

That's so ty-- [ ...waaaaaaaaaaaaaitaminute. ] Typical. Wait, what?

[overlyemotional]

What's hard to understand?

[unparental]

Watch it. [ but the snap lacks any real sting. brb, she's completely reassembling her worldview yet again. ] Okay, stop and explain that one to me.

[lameguymove]

It probably won't, but it doesn't hurt to hope, I guess. [ Matt feels like his head's about to explode because of all of it, but sure. What's one more little thing to add to the growing pile of weird? ] Is she... [ He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. How should he phrase this... ] When is she taking you from?

[overlyemotional]

I got bit. By a vampire.

Oh. Right.

[ An eyeroll. ]

Vampire exist.

[unparental]

[ this is a disgusted face, logan. then it's a veiny vampire face, and then a smoothly human but more perturbed than before face.

...so a lot of faces in quick succession then, go. ] No, really?

[overlyemotional]

-- Wait -- no --

[ Every reaction in the book. In seconds. ]

You can walk in the daylight, too? How did I get the short end of the stick?!

[ Yes, Logan. Clearly this means Jenna has always been one. ]

Were you a vampire --

[selfishing]

Judge all you want. Are you this rude to all of your legal guardians' biological parents? Or, is this about Ric?

[coy]

I've been better but I've also been way worse.

[unparental]

In general, it doesn't. Until you fall flat on your face, but I'm all for positive thinking. [ jenna's smile falls away a bit at that but she rallies, shrugging. ] I think the PC term for what I am now might be 'UV challenged'. Or 'dead', but I like the first one better.