Voice test; Most definitely going to entranceway

[thneedifestdestiny]

Okay, first of all, um - bandwagonning much? There's at least a zillion different versions of me here, and that alone is more than a little freaky.

Second, why are you sending me to some place that doesn't have any Truffula trees? I have a budding business to run! I can't just take off and go to some weird magic mansion just because you think it would be awesome. I've got important stuff to do! A company to be biggering! Remember?

And don't even get me started about that guy. He's a jerk and he's got nothing to do with me! Why does he have to come along too?! I don't have to have one of those Mirror things, you know.

Whatever. I know you're not listening. At least I've got a couple of weeks before you deliberately start trying to ruin my life everyday!

Comments

[ironkingdom]

...


Wait, can I buy shit from you yet? Or do I have to wait?

[thneedifestdestiny]

You can absolutely buy from me now! I'll have to find new materials for thneeds when I get there anyway, so it might be a little bit before I'm in business, but while we're here in where-ever-the-heck-this-is? Sure!

[WHIPS OUT A SAMPLING OF THNEEDS OF VARIOUS COLORS.]

See anything you like?

[ironkingdom]

Hmmm... [ There is some complex consumer thought-processes happening here. They are very complex. Incredibly compl-- ]

I'll take them all.




Now!

[thneedifestdestiny]

[His whole face lights up at the prospect of all that money. Money money money!]

All right! You, sir, are making a very, very, very wise investment in your future. Let's see...everything I've got in my hands times...carry the four...hm.

[And then, as we pretend all money translates over.]

That'll be $372.43.

[ironkingdom]

[ hmm x2.... You know, a legitimate capitalist interaction might occur here.

Or Prussia could just impound that shit for the war effort. Which is exactly what he's doing. He takes that shitty sample thneed, and hands the Once-ler an I.O.U. ]

You'll get your money, boy. Once I finish up my current war! Which, judging by how much the French are wimps, will be really soon. [ Look, you even get a brotherly shoulder pap. ]

The Kingdom of Prussia and future German Empire thanks you.

[hamburellakind]

biggering?

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah, biggering. Everyone wants thneeds now, so I need to supply the demand, you know?

[hamburellakind]

that doesn't sound like a word.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Um. It's the best word.

[theguardianherself]

Mirror things? She never--

[ Aveline rubs her temple. That explains a thing or two. ]

I would ask that you trust your mundane's instincts, but mine is watching the same place and I don't trust her one bit.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah. You know, she probably didn't say anything on purpose. "Weird not-quite-yous running around serving the Queen" isn't really a great selling point.

[It would certainly make a terrible jingle.]

I'm telling you, Muns are life-ruiners! But, at least misery loves company, I guess?

[theguardianherself]

Sounds like an excuse rather than a comforting thought.

[ Misery can be fought. Especially when you have company to support you. ]

...Makes you wonder what else they aren't telling is though.

[thneedifestdestiny]

[He stubbornly pouts at that. Well, maybe misery doesn't love her company then. Maybe he's Misery's favorite.]

They always say either as little as possible or as much as possible, depending on which one would freak us out more. Mine keeps giggling all the things she wants to do, and she can't keep her mouth shut, and I just don't want to be anywhere ear her or this Wonderland place.

oh hi there.

[truffulacide]

Awww! Why do you get to go to a cool magic mansion? [h-huff!]

oh hello! +o+

[thneedifestdestiny]

It's not cool. I mean, I'm not going to lie - free food and stuff is going to be pretty great. But those Mirror things spy on everyone, and there are events that will mess with my brain, and I have thneeds to be knitting at home!

[And he huffs right back!]

[truffulacide]

[SAY IT AIN'T SO]

At least you'll still have a brain. I'm pretty sure that people get theirs removed in the place I'm being dumped off at.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah, but...wait. They're taking out your brain?

[Suddenly whatever he was going to object with seems pretty trivial in comparison to brain-snatching.]

What kind of place would do something like that?! Where are you going?

[hairflyingheartpounding]

Mirror things?

[She has a sneaking suspicion this is not a literal mirror.]

[thneedifestdestiny]

You know how everything's backwards in a Mirror? Right is left and left is right? It's kind of like that. It's somebody that looks like you and sounds like you, but they're not the same as you. It's like having an evil twin, kind of.

[hairflyingheartpounding]

Oh, that sounds... Really unsettling.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah, it really is. Especially when my Mirror is some selfish jerk in a fancy green suit that is nothing like me at all. Nope. Not even a little bit. Noooo sir.

[spacetier]

the mansion is not that bad!












most of the time

[thneedifestdestiny]

...Right.

Not for nothing, but if you have to say "most of the time", then that other "some of the time" is probably ridiculously awful.

[spacetier]

even if bad things happen they only last a couple of days!
its sucks a lot but at least it doesnt last forever

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah, well. I'd rather not have bad things happen at all, thanks.