Voice test; Most definitely going to entranceway

[thneedifestdestiny]

Okay, first of all, um - bandwagonning much? There's at least a zillion different versions of me here, and that alone is more than a little freaky.

Second, why are you sending me to some place that doesn't have any Truffula trees? I have a budding business to run! I can't just take off and go to some weird magic mansion just because you think it would be awesome. I've got important stuff to do! A company to be biggering! Remember?

And don't even get me started about that guy. He's a jerk and he's got nothing to do with me! Why does he have to come along too?! I don't have to have one of those Mirror things, you know.

Whatever. I know you're not listening. At least I've got a couple of weeks before you deliberately start trying to ruin my life everyday!

Comments

[ironkingdom]

...


Wait, can I buy shit from you yet? Or do I have to wait?

[hamburellakind]

biggering?

[thneedifestdestiny]

You can absolutely buy from me now! I'll have to find new materials for thneeds when I get there anyway, so it might be a little bit before I'm in business, but while we're here in where-ever-the-heck-this-is? Sure!

[WHIPS OUT A SAMPLING OF THNEEDS OF VARIOUS COLORS.]

See anything you like?

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah, biggering. Everyone wants thneeds now, so I need to supply the demand, you know?

[ironkingdom]

Hmmm... [ There is some complex consumer thought-processes happening here. They are very complex. Incredibly compl-- ]

I'll take them all.




Now!

[hamburellakind]

that doesn't sound like a word.

[thneedifestdestiny]

[His whole face lights up at the prospect of all that money. Money money money!]

All right! You, sir, are making a very, very, very wise investment in your future. Let's see...everything I've got in my hands times...carry the four...hm.

[And then, as we pretend all money translates over.]

That'll be $372.43.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Um. It's the best word.

[hamburellakind]

you made it up.

[thneedifestdestiny]

I did not! You just don't know anything about words. Shouldn't you be in school or something?

[ironkingdom]

[ hmm x2.... You know, a legitimate capitalist interaction might occur here.

Or Prussia could just impound that shit for the war effort. Which is exactly what he's doing. He takes that shitty sample thneed, and hands the Once-ler an I.O.U. ]

You'll get your money, boy. Once I finish up my current war! Which, judging by how much the French are wimps, will be really soon. [ Look, you even get a brotherly shoulder pap. ]

The Kingdom of Prussia and future German Empire thanks you.

[theguardianherself]

Mirror things? She never--

[ Aveline rubs her temple. That explains a thing or two. ]

I would ask that you trust your mundane's instincts, but mine is watching the same place and I don't trust her one bit.

[thneedifestdestiny]

[Once-ler looks like he has no idea what the heck just happened.]

I...hey! At least give me some kind of down-payment! You can't just walk off with my whole stock and not pay for it at all! I'm running a business here!

[Ignoring the fact that he's already sold a few and he's not totally destitute here.]

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah. You know, she probably didn't say anything on purpose. "Weird not-quite-yous running around serving the Queen" isn't really a great selling point.

[It would certainly make a terrible jingle.]

I'm telling you, Muns are life-ruiners! But, at least misery loves company, I guess?

oh hi there.

[truffulacide]

Awww! Why do you get to go to a cool magic mansion? [h-huff!]

oh hello! +o+

[thneedifestdestiny]

It's not cool. I mean, I'm not going to lie - free food and stuff is going to be pretty great. But those Mirror things spy on everyone, and there are events that will mess with my brain, and I have thneeds to be knitting at home!

[And he huffs right back!]

[truffulacide]

[SAY IT AIN'T SO]

At least you'll still have a brain. I'm pretty sure that people get theirs removed in the place I'm being dumped off at.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah, but...wait. They're taking out your brain?

[Suddenly whatever he was going to object with seems pretty trivial in comparison to brain-snatching.]

What kind of place would do something like that?! Where are you going?

[truffulacide]

I don't think they actually dig it out. They just...do weird things to it. Weird brainy things.

Let me just put it this way: this Mayfield town or whatever the heck it's called isn't a brain-safe zone. So, yeah, I'd MUCH rather be in your shoes right about now.

[hairflyingheartpounding]

Mirror things?

[She has a sneaking suspicion this is not a literal mirror.]

[ironkingdom]

Pleasure commerce-ing with you! Good luck with future sales! [ guess who is moonwalkin' out that door.

yeah, this guy. right here. outies. ]

[thneedifestdestiny]

[Ew. Weird brainy things.]

All right, fine. Maybe I'm doing better in the brain-safety department, but that doesn't mean it's good. All the weird things that happen are based on everyone's memories, which is fine when someone comes from a place that's all sunshine and bar-ba-loots and rainbows. But when someone shows up from somewhere with, oh, I don't know, zombies or dragons or monsters running around, then we've got a HUGE problem on our hands!

It's kind of like this place is going "Here, have all the marshmallows you can eat and a big house to live in! Just don't pay attention while we poke around in your memories!"

[truffulacide]

Yikes. I see your point.

[he places one hand on his hip and tucks the other under his chin, thinking.]

If there are people running around who come from worlds with zombies and dragons, then technically it shouldn't be difficult to seek 'em out and get them to teach you how to handle yourself when all that awful stuff starts happening. Maybe you can put a call out for, like, dragon-slaying lessons or something.

[thneedifestdestiny]

You know how everything's backwards in a Mirror? Right is left and left is right? It's kind of like that. It's somebody that looks like you and sounds like you, but they're not the same as you. It's like having an evil twin, kind of.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Hey! Get back here! Thief! You won't get away with this!

[But he did. Oops.]