dear_mun | On mun finishing the damn game, and all of the emotions therein.

That sounds terribly ominous.

You don't know the half of it. [Though he can't really smirk, there's an aura of smugness about the armor. He knows who's standing in front of him.]

It's...funny. Seeing you from the outside. Not what I expected.

It's been very strange to occasionally see a dark haired version of myself running around, so I believe I can understand a little. But I admit this is the first .. ah, suit of armor that's sounded like him I've encountered.

[HOW IS IT MOVING. Xehanort really wants to poke that armor but that seems like a Bad Idea.]

What ... did you expect?

I'm what's left of that man. Who we used to be. Sometimes I think I'm all there ever was.

[This is a calmer moment for the Lingering Will. He doesn't have many of those, but clarity of purpose helps.]

You're thinner than I remember, but it's been a long time.

[Xehanort's heart didn't seem to be doing his body any good, but then a heart taking over another body was never a good thing.]

It's difficult to get a lot of exercise in a lab. Science and push ups do not often get along. I'm working on that a little. The new world I've found myself in is depressingly physical.

[And he had his priorities! SCIENCE! ... Which is why it's so damn hard to keep hands-off, this is an animated suit of armor here and it's new and shiny.

Can this thing be brought to Vaikuntha?]

Terra and I don't speak very often, but he's never mentioned armor before. You sound very much like him. Would it ... help, to be reunited? I know at least one world he can be found but I can't guarantee he's from the same worldline you know.

[That...actually makes him laugh a little? It's an odd sound. Hollow, but not without emotion.]

Of all of the things you could have inherited from him, part of me is glad it's his curiosity. [He shakes his head.] You must not do much fighting any more.

[The Lingering Will shrugs. He's not sure what, if anything would work to make him whole again.]

I'm...not sure. I'm not a Heartless, but I'm not a Nobody either. My mun's not even sure what I am yet, but they have ideas.

There's been no need. Radiant Garden is ... was peaceful when I left, and Vaikuntha offers many paths to fight through, not merely brute strength. I've found myself taking to necromancy again, there's--

[He pauses and frowns; that's utterly irrelevant right now. More importantly--]

At any rate, that doesn't matter much. If you wished to try, at some point.. see what might happen. I know where to send you. But there's some risks, the world's scheduled to be destroyed via dragon in a very short amount of time.

[And by all appearances, Xehanort's deadly serious about that.]

If I had access to the castle's laboratories I might be able to tell you what you are, but ... without it, I can't begin to guess. Can you feel? Not emotions, it's clear you have those.

[HE'S HAD IT WITH THIS SELF CONTROL STUFF. HE HAS TO POKE THE ARMOR. HAS TO.]

[The word "Necromancy" catches the Lingering Will's attention. So, he's following the same path as the old man, pushing the limits on what he can do to extend life. He shakes his head.]

Maybe. Not much scares me any more. Not even a dragon. [I mean, when one considers Maleficent. The question about what he feels catches the Lingering Will a little off-guard. He had emotions, sure, but sensation was something else. He could feel his Keyblade, and it hurt when he moved, when he was struck with a Keyblade, but he never felt much else.]

It...hurts when I move. I challenged a boy...a successor to a fight. Strikes with a Keyblade cause me pain. I haven't felt anything else since I came into being.

[The Lingering Will is actually calm enough to allow it. He may hate Xehanort with every fiber of his being, but this Xehanort was something else. Even at his angriest, the loss of memory makes him pause his aggression.]

A little fear is often healthy, but that's for those of us who aren't constantly protected by metal..

[A similar path, but for very different reasons. He has no desire at all to end reality, he's living in it. A level of simple common sense that seemed to elude the old Master.

This thing is metal. He'd almost expected the heat of life or temper or something, but..]

That's..

[Pretty damn awful, he's not keen on suffering just for suffering's sake. Necessary suffering is one thing, but this doesn't seem to me necessary.]

..Terribly unfortunate. Keyblades are very rare, at least, though .. if you are capable of traveling worlds on your own, consider Radiant Garden. My master, Ansem, is a very wise man with access to tremendous resources. He may be able to find a way to stop at least some of your pain.

[It's not compassion, not exactly. He struggles with that particular feeling, but .. if HE can't study this thing..!!!]

I'd suggest finding Terra and seeing if proximity helps at all, but he tends to presume everything is his fault and becomes rather unhelpful quickly.

Not having a body has it's advantages, sometimes. [He chuckles.]

[The name Radiant Garden catches his attention. So that's where he ended up, the Lingering Will thinks. He remembers the place, vaguely. Fighting the man with the guns, and saving Master Xehanort before he knew what the old man was really after.]

I remember that place. Terra went there once. Saw his friends.

[Honestly, the Lingering Will isn't sure what being around Terra would do to him, or what effect he might have on Terra. It was worth a shot, however.]

Our mistakes tend to cast longer shadows than most people's, I think. I'm proof of that.

[After all, the Lingering Will wouldn't exist at all had Terra not let the Darkness into his heart so readily, not let himself be duped by the old Master. But that was in the past.]

It's ... a nice world. Small, but innovative.

[He missed it. In no small part to the experiments he left behind, but the people too were as close to friends as he'd gotten, and that ate at him a little too.

This suit of armor would be well treated there. Especially since it .. he? Had a mind of his own.]

Mm. That depends on one's perspective. Failure is often the key to success; a mistake simply teaches us what we should not try the next time. You ... are proof of a very tenacious life, are you not? Not many could exist as a shell of metal.

Sounds like a home, to me.

[Like the Land of Departure in a way. The only home the Lingering Will remembers, and one of the only places he can't return to. At Xehanort's comment, the Lingering Will shrugs.]

It's...my rage that keeps me alive. And a promise I made. A promise to set things right. I wait for the day I can see him again.

... It was.

[Sentimentality was useless these days, so he's not going to dwell on it. One day he'd figure out how to return, preferably while retaining the ability to leave if he so chose.

And send others there. To help them, of course, but also for science. This is the exact sort of thing Even would adore being able to get at..]

If you're ... capable of more, consider more than rage. It's a powerful weapon when harnessed but I have seen the results when it isn't. There are better ways to live life, even if in the pursuit of revenge.

[His eyebrows rise.]

You are looking for revenge for something, yes?

[It's ironic how different they are. The Lingering Will is, in a way, the very embodiment of sentimentality. Trapped in a place that has nothing but painful memories to offer him, and longing both to fulfill his purpose, and to return to the one place that felt like home to him, even though "he" should exist under the ideal circumstance to getting back what was taken.]

A weapon is about all I am. I'm not sure if that's what he intended or expected, but that's what happened.

[Without warning, the Lingering Will reaches out and grabs Xehanort by the shoulder. In his "mind" the Lingering Will replays the last moments he remembers, when the bald old Master cast his heart into his old body, graying it's hair and yellowing it's eyes, and leaving what was left of Terra's anger in his armor, and the fight that ensued.]

I'm looking for a lot more than that, Xehanort.

[He releases his grip. The Lingering Will is controlling it's rage, but it's easy to tell what a labor this is.]

Edited 2019-02-09 18:33 (UTC)

[Perhaps it's for the best then, that Xehanort can't remember where he's from. Or what had happened, either to the boy who once owned his body or the old man who sought to take it over. The time he'd had at Radiant Garden was the only thing he had to build on.

And the tiny bits he caught from others. The hatred and suspicion from complete strangers - it's nothing new, and when it bubbles up here, from an armor no less, he can't be surprised. It's happened too much.

He doesn't even try to stop the grab. It's not with a weapon in hand. He does however reach out immediately to try to keep the Lingering Will from drawing away again, and in spite of the fact that he'd lost quite a bit of Terra's raw power, he's still alarmingly strong. Enough for a moment or two, perhaps.]

Then as a weapon that can think and not just feel, you must be certain your target is who and what you think it is before striking. You're not the first to get that wrong. You won't be the last.

[How easy it is to take on a stern edge, mimic the tone Ansem would take when one of his apprentices would go a bit astray. But it fades quickly, it's not something he can maintain long, it doesn't feel right. He's not a teacher.]

There's more to life than rage and vengeance, and you are for the time being alive. If your mun chooses to send you somewhere, then you'll have to be more certain than ever of what you're doing and why.

[It is a sobering thing to think about, and honestly, now that this Xehanort says that, the Lingering Will experiences an extremely rare moment of doubt. My god...he's right. In most circumstances, the Lingering Will was absolutely sure, but even he could admit when he was wrong. Facing Sora was proof of that.]

You...you're right. I...know that you're Xehanort, but you're not the same Xehanort who took my body from me.

[He pauses. This is difficult for the Lingering Will. He's survived more than a decade on rage and his lust for vengeance, so having to confront the changing of the times is hard.]

I'm sorry.

I might have been. In some other time, some other place. ...But I struggle a little with thinking I might have stolen my body, when the theoretical owner of it occasionally comes over for pancakes, wearing one very like mine.

[If he had the time, he'd want to study it. The differences in worldlines, what changes and what doesn't between one and the next. What was constant?

But that would take a lifetime, and he simply didn't have that. There were other things to do! Now if he had more than one lifetime..

The thought is shaken off.]

... There's no need for apologies. You could have attacked, when we first met. You chose not to. That means something, I think, not everyone's been so hands-off.

[The Lingering Will chuckles. That seems like it would be the most awkward breakfast ever.]

The thought had crossed my mind, but I wanted to be sure. Xehanort...the original Xehanort was cunning. Plans within plans, more than one vessel for his heart. At times it felt like he had it all planned out from the start. Like we're all just pawns in a game we can't even see.

[Naminé had been very helpful in that regard. She'd taken the time to catch him up before sending him off to fight. It was all very confusing.]

.. Did he plan on burning out the one he was in that quickly? Why would you need more than one vessel at a t--

[He cuts himself off, suddenly looking thoughtful. Now that he actually thought about it, he could think of a few reasons why. ... Then he shakes his head; that wouldn't work well at all, where would you put the body so you could use it later?? Wouldn't that require really complicated life support systems??]

Actually if you know don't answer that, I have too many projects to study as it is without bothering with that one. Maybe he does have things planned out. But there's always ways to throw a wrench into things. I can't imagine he's planning on a spirit in a suit of armor to be hunting him down.

[Speaking of things he wants to study.]

Hmm...

[How interesting. How very, truly fascinating...

The way paths diverge. The way simple choices can alter the course of destiny.

For this Xemnas is different. He is "free," but the price of freedom is steep. The kindhearted young man he once was is long gone...

So what to say? What to think? Quite the conundrum...]

Yes, Namine is quite remarkable. It is no wonder she was able to form a connection with you. Commendable, really.

[Yes. It is far preferable to letting Xehanort have his way. Or his friends perishing...

That is the one thing that remains near and dear to this hollow husk of a man.]

[There's...something oddly familiar about this man. The Lingering Will can feel it. He's not quite Xehanort, but he isn't Terra, either.]

She wanted to tip the scales they only way she knew how. Knew I was strong enough protect them from him.

[He inclines his helmet at Xemnas.] I think we're alike that way.

[While all that the Lingering Will was any more was rage, hatred for the man who ripped him away from his body, underneath it all was love for his friends, and a desire to protect them from what Xehanort had made of him. It was the latter part of him that Naminé had appealed to. The few shreds of humanity left inside of the armor.]

"Strong enough," you say.

[A hoarse, empty chuckle escapes him, and he shakes his head.]

Well. Some good that strength did, if it failed to purge Xehanort from my body. I had to fight tooth and nail to reclaim any semblance of control, and yet...

[Ah, like with all good things, there was a catch. An inescapable catch.]

Suffice it to say, I am not who I once was. Perhaps you are more fortunate in that regard.

Edited 2019-02-08 21:59 (UTC)

[The Lingering Will shakes it's helmet.]

You're still you, aren't you? You succeeded where I failed. All that's left of me is the hatred I feel for him, and the promise I made. My body and my heart are his, until I can find him again.

[The Lingering Will summons it's Keyblade, the Ends of the Earth.]

Xehanort took everything from me, just like he did to you.

A mere shell, but yes. I have control. And perhaps that's the most terrifying fact of all...

[A ghost of a smirk crosses his face at that.]

I will say, living a masquerade for over a decade is only a slight improvement. You would find my actions most abhorrent, I suspect.

[But that's the joy of lacking a heart- no empathy to hold him back. He can see things with so much clarity...]

But. At least I'm not attempting to rekindle the Keyblade War or inject others with Xehanort's filth.

We do what we have to, to survive. I'm not Terra any more than you are.

[While this Xemnas was acting to try and restore his heart, and to keep Xehanort's last will from becoming a reality, all the Lingering Will had done was wait for his body to find it's way back to him, so he could reclaim it and recomplete himself.]

For that you have my thanks. Xehanort has done enough damage already. To us. To our worlds. Your Will might even be stronger than mine.

[He's not gonna say anything, now or later, but somewhere in the background is an intensely suspicious Xehanort working on figuring out why this guy looks awfully like him, just OLDER.

Goddamn timelines!!!]

On mun finishing the damn game, and all of the emotions therein.

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Also? I feel the need to share this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH79yotETao

Ah.. that's such a good cover..

Right? Of all the ways to do it, metal is THE way :D

IT IS

I've tried listening to other covers, but none of them quite hit the awesome of ferdk's :D

There was one I heard that was done with some kind of woodwind. Very nice too. But very .. nostalgic

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Also? Because I'm sharing this around now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH79yotETao

Ooooh, delicious >3 I approve

I happened across it years ago, only ti find out like a year ago that the artist had updated it, lol

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