spoilers for ducktales 2017!

[blackmagicduck]

 Well, this isn't how I traditionally acquire new slaves, but beggars can't be choosers.

Rest assured, this is far from the last anyone's seen of me. You think I spent all those years trapped without thinking of back-up plans? I've even got three separate monologues depending on how much I can make Scrooge cry! Though I do need to keep them better organized, maybe buy some high-liters and do them by color...

Regardless! Phase two begins now. 

Comments

[richestduck]

Only three monologues? And here I thought you hated me, de Spell.

[blackmagicduck]

Listen, when you're trapped for fifteen years with no one to bounce ideas off of, your options become a smidgen limited. Thank the gods for this internet thing-a-ma-jig, that's going to save me so much gloating time.

[richestduck]

Planning to email your gloating to me then? I'm not opposed to that. That means I can skim-read through your little rants. Save some time.

[blackmagicduck]

Oh, yes, your "eee""mails" will be most horrendous!

[... she doesn't know what they are does she]

... Why do I feel like I've missed a few things since I've been out?

[richestduck]

[Magica, you are the reason people think he's barely technologically-literate by virtue of being over a hundred years old. Email did exist fifteen years ago, you techno-phobic termagent.]

No, no, no, nothing's changed at all. You'll catch up with everything in no time.

[blackmagicduck]

[EXCUSE ME MISTER 'DO KIDS THESE DAYS STILL PLAY WITH MARBLES']

I won't have your sarcasm, McDuck! It's so annoying. You can never just let anyone gloat, see, this is why you have so many enemies, you never let anyone finish.

[richestduck]

[That's different! He's kept up with technology, not children!]

Oh, is that so? Do go on then and get it out of your system. I'd like to have one less annoyance in my life.

[blackmagicduck]

Well it's no good to do it now, you're not defeated yet! I need you good and thoroughly crushed, writhing in despair, your very soul CRYING OUT IN AGONY!

Oooh, that was good. Might need to pick up a thesaurus later.

[richestduck]

Now that's too bad because that means you've missed your one shot at it. You might as well toss out the notecards; you'll never get to use them.

[Really, Magica, you spent so much of your time thinking he was luring you into a trap you missed the opportunity to squash him while his family was still on the "let's go to Cape Suzette" train. They did the hard work for you.]

[blackmagicduck]

[IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE SEASON, DISNEY'S NOT LETTING THIS FAMILY OFF THE AIR FOR YEARS]

You really must have forgotten who I am to think I'd give up so soon. If it takes another fifteen, twenty, or even a hundred years, I will have my revenge on Clan McDuck, and you will be there to witness every single horrifying moment!

I will never let you go, Scroogie.

[richestduck]

[GOD, I HOPE SO.]

[Okay, that's a bit worrisome. A little.]

[Though he can't quiiiiite resist the urge to tweak her tailfeathers a little. Just to see what she does.]

Careful with your phrasing there, Magica, or someone might get the wrong idea.

[blackmagicduck]

[okay but maybe she'd like her tailfeathers tweaked OH WE ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL]

"Wrong" is my middle name.

Obviously not literally, that'd be a stupid name.

As long as I get what's owed to me, I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks. All anyone needs to know is exactly how you'll break down before me. Piece. By. Piece.

[richestduck]

[Did...did that taunt just fly over her head? Oh well.]

[Or did she actually get it and was trying to get his goat? Hard to tell with Magica sometimes. Maybe all that time in the Dime messed with her mind...more.]

And I'm sure you'll be going into great detail on that point. Just keep it brief; I'd rather not fall asleep waiting for you to finish.

Honestly, I thought Glomgold could carry on...

[blackmagicduck]

... Excuse me?

Are you HONESTLY comparing MAGICA DE SPELL to one FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD? That man can't even go through step one of his evil plans without spilling the beans! He's an insult to villainy and darkness! Ugh, I feel dirty just saying his name, bleck!

[richestduck]

[Scrooge rolls his eyes.]

Yes, kettle, I see you've met pot. Perhaps you've noticed you have something in common?

[Seriously, one of these days he's going to bring a tape recorder, record her talking, and then play it back for her so she knows what she sounds like.]

[blackmagicduck]

[i'm sorry, are you under the impression magica isn't narcissistic and doesn't love to hear herself talking constantly??? WHAT DID YOU THINK THE MONOLOGUES WERE FOR???]

Oooh, you - if I had my staff - bah! I'm going to make my next plan 200% more evil just to prove I am no GLOMGOLD! Stop making me say his name.

[thank god he didn't say mark beaks, she might have just up and smacked him]

[richestduck]

[You're right. What had he been thinking?]

[And a slow smirk creeping over his beak.]

Y'know, maybe you should prove him who's the superior one of my enemies and take care of him first.

[If this works, he's gonna put a flea in Ol' Flinty's ear to the same effect. Get them to annoy each other for a while so he can get some work done in peace.]

[blackmagicduck]

[Pause. Hand to chin. Considering...]

... He doesn't mean anything to you, does he? No sense of friendly camaraderie or "only I can defeat you" sort of admiration?

[richestduck]

[And now to needle her ego.]

Well, he is my biggest rival...

[Let her take that how she wills.]

[blackmagicduck]

Hmmmm...

On the one hand, it would probably give you great pain to see all of your enemies rising above you in victory. On the other hand, I do hate sharing, and I earned the win, obviously.

... This might take a while. Might require some flow charts.

[richestduck]

Take your time. I mean, he'll only keep accumulating money which he can turn around and use in his revenge plots against me. Perhaps one of these days he might get lucky. Just because those last three bombs in my downtown office didn't work out doesn't mean the fourth time won't be the charm.

[blackmagicduck]

... What kind of fool do you take me for? I know reverse psychology when I see it! You just want to get me out of your hair! Well, call me lice, Scrooge, because I'm not going anywhere!

... Unless... it's reverse reverse psychology, because you KNEW I would automatically assume you were trying to trick me, so I really do need go after Glomgold!

... Unless...

[Okay so maybe being in the dime for 10+ years has done a... number... of things to her head]

[richestduck]

Yes. That's it exactly.

[Which part though? He'll never tell. You working yourself in circles also works for him.]

[Though, wow, he's glad he wasn't in the Dime that long himself...]

[airhorns]

Phase two? I'm already onto phase three. You need to get with the times there. Oh - Mark Beaks by the way! [Yes, he's already attempting to take selfies with you. People need to know that he managed to get up and close to the most recent threat here in Duckburg without getting hurt. Imagine how popular and interesting that has to be to his fans.]

Love that whole crazy voo-doo vibe BTW, You are killing it.

[blackmagicduck]

If you don't get that device out of my face in the next three seconds, it won't be the only thing I'm killing.

[One, two...]

[airhorns]

[It's okay he has spares!]

...So what hash tag should we go with here? #blackmagic? #greenisthenewblack? Gimmie something to work with here. I'd love to get you involved with something Halloweeny I'm working on for Waddle.

[blackmagicduck]

[She did NOT mean the device.]

I don't know what you're saying, and frankly, don't care.

[Poking him by the beak. and. pushing. him. back.]

This is the level of villainy Scrooge has sunk to in my absence? I'm almost close to pitying him again.

[airhorns]

Think of it as this millennium's latest form of magic. Heck, I'm something of a wizard myself in the technology industry.

The amount of people I can control and get to use my products? Makes me kind of a bigger influence than you sadly enough but uh...I dunno, I think I could find a use for you.

...How good are you at infusing almonds into coffee?

[blackmagicduck]

...A.

... Use.

... For me.

[so you've just. got. no sense of self-preservation at all, do you, mark.

Cue her SNATCHING the smartphone.]

Perhaps you're hard of hearing, so let me make one think perfectly clear...

[And CRUSHING the the thing in her bare hand.]

Magica De Spell... is NO ONE's servant.

[airhorns]

[Heeeeeeeey, those are costly! No matter. He just pulls out another smartphone from another of his pockets. Ever since the Falcon Graves incident he's started to carry more around with him.]

Now, Now...calm down I never used the word "servant". You assumed that all on your own. No what I'm thinking is more of a partnership? I mean you're gonna need some help if you wanna take down Scrooge McDuck I mean... the guy has all kinds of crazies at his beck and call.

I consider you, Mag' as an equal of sorts.

[blackmagicduck]

[Listening quietly as she lets the broken pieces drop from her hand. Dang, youths used to be much more easily threatened back in the day. Ah, nostalgia.]

... You must have some confidence to consider yourself anything close to my equal. I have centuries of revenge on my end. What do you get out of this?

[airhorns]

You get to do your evil witchy thang...and I just get all the stuff you're not bothered about. 50/50 split, I mean SURE world domination sounds good and all but I just wanna be better than McDuck and Glomgold all together.

And the best part is you won't even get any trouble from me. I don't do the adventuring thing. It's way too much work.

Just as long as it doesn't get in the way of my life long goals, we're good, Magica.

Whaddya say?

[He can update his social media about this later. He can't wait to see the kind of response this will get from the public.]

[blackmagicduck]

[Considering... Thinking... Mulling... What kind of pathetic life goals could this techno-geek have anyway? Surely nothing she can worry about. And unlike her last minion, it doesn't seem like having friends or a conscience will be an issue.

She offers her hand.]

I say... we're good, Beaks. We're very good.

[airhorns]

Sweet, so yeah. I'll get to work on something down the line and I'll have my people talk to your people.

[Does Magica even have "people"? Ah well. This is all clearly buisness to him. He hasn't actually realised that Magica intends to ACTUALLY be a major threat. He just assumes this whole thing is just for show.

He flips his device over to it's side and makes a huge grinning face and a peace sign desperately trying to get Magica into the shot. There's no escaping the selfie.]

Maybe we could work on some kind of weird magic app or something? Oooh! That actually sounds really nifty actually! I'll get someone to look into it.