About That Canon and Shipping

[blueberry_bamf]

Dearest Mun,

I know that Western comic canon is confusing. I know my own is particularly tangled, what with the decades of material and more authors/artists than would fit under the big top at Der Jahrmarkt. I truly do appreciate all of the effort you have gone through to give me a proper timeline that makes some modicum of sense.

That being said. Please stop shipping me with everyone ever. I know I am a serial flirt, and proud of it, but there is a vast difference between a little light flirting and actually getting into bed with someone. You do know that, ja?

Comments

1/2

[local_sexpert]

Uh, yeah but, like. You do know that flirting usually gets you in bed anyway.

So.

Y'know.

May as well.

2/2

[local_sexpert]

Also hi, I'm Casey!

Hello

[blueberry_bamf]

Flirting does not equal sex. Flirting is a light, friendly interaction that allows the opposite party to feel valued. Sex is... more. Much more.

It is nice to meet you, Casey. I am Kurt.

[local_sexpert]

Well, yeah but sex is the good part.

So...are you a natural blue?

No

[blueberry_bamf]

I beg to disagree. It is all the good part. The flirting, the subsequent relationship which may or may not lead to sex... Although I do admit that sex can be quite fun with the right partner.

If by that you mean, was I born blue, then yes.

But yes tho

[local_sexpert]

Interesting...

Oh, you know, speaking of the comics -- I heard you had two dicks, is that true?

?!

[blueberry_bamf]

Was?! Who would say that?! Why would they?! Of course I do not!

[local_sexpert]

Awww, that's super disappointing.

[He pouts.]

[blueberry_bamf]

I am so terribly sorry.

[He is being sarcastic.]

[local_sexpert]

[He is not being sarcastic.]

Oh! You don't have to be sorry. I'm sure you're good enough with just the one dick. And, uh, that tail...

[blueberry_bamf]

...I think this conversation has stopped being productive.

[local_sexpert]

Was it ever though? I mean really.

[blueberry_bamf]

That is the first sensible thing you have said.

[devilstongue]

It seems to be a rather common problem among muns, I'm afraid.

[blueberry_bamf]

Have you found any way to convince them to do otherwise?

[devilstongue]

Not yet, though I admit I'm not that much in a hurry to fix it. I live for new experiences.

I have not been around for even a smidge as long as my mun says you have, though.

[blueberry_bamf]

...I am not that old. Logan, on the other hand... I am Kurt, by the way. It is nice to meet you.

[devilstongue]

Ah, I'm Mollymauk Tealeaf. Molly to my friends.

You don't happen to be Zemnian? I have a friend with the same lovely accent.

[blueberry_bamf]

It is a pleasure to meet you, Molly.

Ah, no. I am German-- from Bavaria, originally. I have never heard of... that other place. Are you a mutant as well? I rarely run into others with as advanced a mutation set as myself.

[devilstongue]

Likewise!

I'm afraid I have never heard of those places in return... and I'm not certain what a mutant is? I, like many others of my kind, had an overly adventurous ancestor that apparently put 'fuck an infernal being' on their bucket list.

[blueberry_bamf]

Perhaps we are related then! [He laughs.] Though my father more prefers to pretend at being something more powerful than he is... Still. He has attempted to conquer my world from an alternate dimension, so calling him an 'infernal being' is not too far off...

[devilstongue]

Now that would be something, wouldn't it? I'd say you would be closer to my friend, however. She's also a lovely blue color.

You seem to have some complicated parentage, though. I am almost relieved to be an orphan.

[blueberry_bamf]

I am afraid you do not know the half of it. I thought I was an orphan for a significant portion of my life. Then it turned out my mother was alive and had tried to kill me as an infant, but my father intervened and tricked my foster mother into raising me so he could use my body as a portal from his prison dimension once I reached the appropriate age...

Tut mit leid, that was probably more than anyone needs to know about my past.

[devilstongue]

Well, I am very glad I'm a nobody carnie now. At least that's a plus?

[ Lies, but hey. ]

You are a very interesting person.

[blueberry_bamf]

Everyone is someone...Wait. You are a carnie? As in... one who works in the circus? [No, you are not imagining the way he just lit up.]