canon is the adventure zone. he's not happy with me.

[tacosgay]

Okay, look. I'll put up with a whole lot of things from you, because I kinda have to, but, like-- most of the time, I don't complain much. You wanna get me stuck in a shitty magical carnival of some sort, fine, that's cool, I'll deal with that. You wanna turn me into some kind of demon where I can't even use my spells, and that's... well, I'll be honest with you, I kind of hate that, but it's a little too late to change it now, so it's whatever. But I've got to draw a line in the sand somewhere, and I think you've just stumbled across exactly where that line's going to be.



You'll pry my beautiful elf dick out of my cold, dead hands. Listen, I know you're all about trying new experiences and all that, putting us into situations ~beyond the imagination~ and what have you, but this? Like, I'm not sure you understand, that's my dick. I'm, if you'll forgive my wording here, pretty attached to it! I don't need it to change shapes or get tucked up into some... body cavity or whatever, I like it right where it is, thank you very much!

Comments

[umbrastaff]

Okay wow.

First of all, fuck your mun. Second of all, ouch.

[tacosgay]

Okay, though, right?! Like, why? Why does she feel the need to-- like, there's no good reason, at all, for this to even happen! It's not like this is some porn game in which this'll even be all that relevant!

[umbrastaff]

Urgh. I mean, it is really fucking weird to be talking about your dick in the first place, but hey. Like... is it just going to disappear?

[tacosgay]

No, she... she wants to put it up in some kind of "sheath," like a fuckin' animal or something.

[umbrastaff]

Oookay. That's... almost weirder. No scratch that, it is weirder.

[tacosgay]

Right?! Like... holy shit! Why does she think that's a good idea?

[umbrastaff]

I dunno, saving your virtue in hellland by making sure you can't get your dudes on without them running for the hills?

[tacosgay]

Okay, first off, it's a little late for her to save my virtue in any capacity. Let's just get that out of the way right now. Second, I'm an adult and don't need her help with that in the first place??

[umbrastaff]

Oh I am well aware. Well. Aware.

Also since when do muns make any kind of sense?

[restinglichface]

TMI, bro. TMI.

[tacosgay]

Listen-- okay, first off, that was pretty clearly marked for what it was, okay. You didn't have to read the fuckin' post, Lulu.

Second, you show me a more private way to yell at these people and I'm all over it.

[restinglichface]

Counterpoint A: You know I'm too fuckin' nosy to not look. Honestly, I'm offended you even think I'd give you that level of privacy!

And B: C'mon, Taako. When has yelling ever helped either of us be heard? There's a much better solution and I think you know what it is.

[tacosgay]

A: that's... actually a good point, fuck. I'll give you that one.

And B: uhhhh... I'm not so sure our usual ways of dealing with people are gonna work out here, given she's the one with the fuckin' keyboard here. Manipulation and-or magic only get you so far when you're in somebody else's head.

[restinglichface]

[point for her! not that she keeps track of them or anything]

...No fire then?

[tacosgay]

I don't even think we can touch these people with magic, honestly. Otherwise I definitely would've been a thousand steps ahead of you, here, sis.

[restinglichface]

Well, shit. That seriously blows. Guess you better stick to the screamin' before it's long gone then.

[tacosgay]

Thanks for the support, Lulu. Really appreciate it.

[restinglichface]

Always here for you, bro!