Really Shaky Voice Testing; planning to app to Soulgemmed

[eatdavesbabies]

Alright. So I think there's something you're not getting.

Wishes aren't something Striders make. We pull off miracles our own damn selves. We have fucking shelves dedicated to them. We want riches we don't get on our hands and knees and pray, we go to the back room and break that shit out of the little tupperware containers we have them in.

....Dave's fine. He's a big boy now.

Dude can take care of himself.

Comments

[brometheus]

[ Just.

Just gonna stare a little. ]

[eatdavesbabies]

[Well. That sure is him. A him that's nearly two decades younger than him, but him all the same.

There's a lot of ways a person could approach this. But there's only one way Bro knows how to.

He gives a little, upwards nod at Dirk. A small sign of approval at seeing a Strider, as a Strider is want to do.]

Yo. What's up?

[And he puts his fist out for Dirk to bump.]

[brometheus]

Just questioning the ramifications this will have on paradox space. You?

[ This is the weirdest fucking thing. He'll meet the fist with a bump of his own. ]

Nice... Uh. Username.

[eatdavesbabies]

Keeping it real, like you do.

Yeah it's great having a dude who thinks he can hand out a few chuckles instead of realizing he's just a chucklefuck. I make do. Might actually get him into tip top fighting shape if he'd stop being such a douche about it.

I'm a dude who can work with most handicaps. Not gonna slow my stride.

[brometheus]

Better than having a sadist at the strings. But I guess if you're headed to our little space in the multiverse then you have the misfortune of being saddled with both. Sorry, dude.

[eatdavesbabies]

It's cool. He turns out that bad we'll just have to set up a safe word so I don't bust his ass that bad.

Though damn, dude. You sound like you've seen some shit at this place.

[brometheus]

We just had to put two teenage girls out of their misery. Yeah. It's been a rough month.

[eatdavesbabies]

[Bro lets out a low whistle.

...He feels like he should say something. Anything. Like even that he's sorry to hear it. But he can't. It's fucked up, but it'd feel awkward to say anything about it, and the things he thinks to say about it. He doesn't want to just gush feelings about this, and even saying something about regretting to hear it feels like gushing to him. Fuck no. He isn't doing that.

That's the price you pay when you're cool, to keep cool. You never lose that chill. The moment you do that's the moment someone sees you're more than ice and that you can't just freeze them in their tracks.]

Least it can't get much worse than that. That shit common around this hellhole?

[brometheus]

[ It's... not an unfamiliar feeling, to be faced with himself. Only this is living, breathing him and not just data on a computer screen. His brain mirrored back at him but twisted through binary and code. This is the same, but different. Him but in the past. Him, grown up and put through his paces by a world that probably had no goddamn place for him.

And he feels his hackles up. Defensive. Knowing that if he lets his guard slip he's showing vulnerability to himself, and he is always his worst enemy.]

No. This was the first major loss in a year, as far as I know. Most of the enemies we fight aren't a life and death experience.

[ironicoolly]

[Flatly, because let's just try our damndest to ignore everything else here:] The wish isn't what it's cracked up to be, anyway.

[eatdavesbabies]

Ain't nothing for free, little man.

[Seriously. What'd you expect Dave? You made a wish you regret then that's on you bro.]

You get any mileage out of the one you made?

[ironicoolly]

Nah.

["It was a dumb wish, anyway," he doesn't say, because the last thing he needs is Bro asking him what he wished for.]

I figure I'm basically doing this whole magi shtick for free.

[eatdavesbabies]

Damn bro, chances are you're just letting dollars fly by you. Could be making bank with some fucking sick magic tricks, instead of just hoofing it for free.

[Are you okay there? How have you been? You been able to take care of yourself? What are you doing? Fuck you're older than when he last saw you. He misses you.]

Sounds like this place is some shit. You having trouble bro, or are you a big boy who's taking care of business?

[Goddammit. He meant for there to be a little concern here but. Fuck it. He's not going to change what he said. Dave gets it and knows what he means. He raised him to.]

[ironicoolly]

[That sure is a loaded question if he's ever heard one. Of course the answer is the latter. "Yeah, I'm having trouble" basically isn't an option that's even on the table.

His reply is automatic, almost to the point of being robotic.] Holding down the fort just fine over here. Hell, I figure it's practically my fort now. I mean it's been, what, four years now since you've been around?

[Wow, that came out a little more bitter than he anticipated it being.]

You can go ahead and tell your player he ain't gotta worry and all that shit.

[eatdavesbabies]

[Bro listens. And gives a little nod. That's it. That's his little man. That's the champion he raised from Pampers to pizza. You shouldn't need anything from a single other goddamn person. Good Dave. Good for you.

Four years.

He's been gone four years. That's how much time he has to catch up on. Jesus, Dave is seventeen at this point then. Like fuck does the dude know for sure how to even take care of himself at that age? Are you shaving? Do you know the kind of swagger you ought to have? ...Holy shit has he had 'the talk'? Does he need to give you the talk Dave? He wasn't fucking ready for that when you were thirteen how the hell is he going to tell you that awkward shit at seventeen?]

Worrying isn't part of the equation.

Where you're at, that's the place that's about to worry. We're about to open the fucking Strider gates tenfold on that bitch.

[That bitterness in Dave's voice just rolled off his back. That's normal. It's a normal part of growing up, Bro is sure.]

[ironicoolly]

[Oh. That "we" sticks out to Dave like a goddamn sore thumb, and he really... doesn't want to try to process what that means for him. How he feels about that.

So what if Bro's dangling the possibility that he might be coming in front of you? Don't think about it. Don't feel a thing about it. As usual, he's probably just testing you; trying to get a gauge on how you'll react. Whether or not you'll be able to keep your cool.]

Thought you said you didn't do wishes, Bro.