oh god what am I getting myself into?

[kairyokuranshin]

Heh.

You've got guts. Oni are supposed to kidnap humans, not the other way around. You didn't even try me head on first. There's nothin' I hate more than a coward, and you'd have to know that by now.

Like I said, you've got guts. Dumb as hell, but guts. And I like guts. I also like alcohol and fights. You're stocked up on both, so it'll do for now. But I left that mountain because humans got too boring.

So don't get boring.

Comments

[closed_eyes]

Oooh, so that person behind the screen decided that they're going to try and control you? That should be fun to watch. Mine doesn't know what I'm thinking... well, ever really. I think I confuse him most of the time.

But I don't think it will be boring. I'm pretty sure of it, or at least you'll find plenty of alcohol.

[green_eyed]

This doesn't sound like a kidnapping at all. More like forcing your way into someone else's home.

[immaterial_and_missing]

Awww, c'moooon. It's not thaaaat baaaad!

[This drunken slurring brought to you by: Suika Ibuki and her Gourd.] I mean for the most part they leave ya alone and then sometimes they poke ya with a stick to make sure you're still alive, and if you are, you can go back to drinking and napping.

[kairyokuranshin]

He knows better than to try and control me. Or he'll learn, real fast.

It'll have to be plenty by my standards.

[kairyokuranshin]

If I'm stuck here, I might as well make myself at home.

[closed_eyes]

Well, if it's anything like where I am right now, there's lots of stuff to drink, and I mean lots of it. But you'll have to be careful. They lace it with stuff.

Course that can be fun too.

[kairyokuranshin]

That sounds awful.

[Shit, Suika's already drunk? She's gonna have to catch up here!] Drinkin' should go with fightin', not nappin'. Why would they even bother if they weren't going to find me a bunch of fun fights?

[kairyokuranshin]

So not only are they dishonest, but they're ruinin' good alcohol in the process? That'd give me lots of heads to knock around while I drink.

[closed_eyes]

Well, knock around one way or another, anyway. *snicker* It still tastes the same and gets you drunk, so it's not too ruined. They just add stuff to it.

[green_eyed]

What a typical answer. You could try to sound like you're taking this a little seriously.

[kairyokuranshin]

Only one way's comin' to mind right now. What kinda stuff, then? Still bothers me they gotta be all shifty about it.

[closed_eyes]

Oh, they're not really all that shifty. They want us to do naughty things to each other, so they put aphrodisiacs in the booze lots of times. They're not even sneaky about it.

Of course, they kinda assume you know already, so it's easy to get the wrong drinks.

[kairyokuranshin]

I'd say I'm takin' it seriously enough. I told him not to be boring.

[kairyokuranshin]

Oh, is that all? Kind of weird, enough alcohol in you will make you naughty anyways. Just gotta be careful what you drink.

[Hmm, what would happen to one of those spiked drinks in her cup...]

[green_eyed]

And that's all you're worried about! You could end up in some weird places! With no booze!

Acting so cool like this... I'm jealous -And the sky is blue. Not that she'd know.-

[closed_eyes]

Well, yeah, but you're usually a lot more able if you haven't had way too much to ...

Oh right, I have to remember who I'm talking to here. There is no such thing as too much for you oni, is there?

[immaterial_and_missing]

[That's the secret, Cap: Suika's been drunk for thousands of years. She's never sober.]

I mean, ya can do that, too! Nothing quite like punchin' the block off something, or sending a tengu head-first into a barrier at like five times the speed of sound... - oh wait, that was somethin' else. Aaaanywaaay, I dunno. A lot of people are too afraid to fight people. 'Specially like. Us. So you'll probably spend a lot more time nappin'.

[kairyokuranshin]

Then I'd just get them booze. Or I'll beat up the right people until they start makin' booze. [It'd be one big drinking party and, hey, maybe they'd even stick around.

And speaking of sticking around] Don't be. [Because it's that easy.] Stick with me and lets be cool together instead.

[kairyokuranshin]

[A blissful life led, that]

How'd that somethin' else go? [Whether she's talking about the tengu or the barrier, well...] Huh. If they won't try and outfight an oni, then maybe they'll try and out drink one. Betcha there's a lot of people that'd take that one up without thinkin'.

[green_eyed]

It's not that easy and you know it! You haven't thought anything through, you giant oaf! Don't just talk cool like that when you haven't got a plan!

You... you could be in some serious trouble that you can't just punch your way out of!

[kairyokuranshin]

Nope! Bring on all the alcohol you got!

[No really, go get it. She thirsty]

[immaterial_and_missing]

Um... she ended up out cold for the day, but she was fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. [It was an important lesson in why you don't Drink and Physics.]

That, ya probably could! People love to overestimate themselves. Drink 'em under the table, Yuugi!

... Um. Where ya gonna drink 'em under the table, though? This place isn't very good for that.

[kairyokuranshin]

[Oh well, when you put it like that]

Oh yeah? What kind of trouble?

[Cause, bridge princess, it kinda sounds like you're speaking from experience]

[closed_eyes]

Well, I've got a bottle or two that they didn't add anything to, so I can bring that over, but you have to promise to at least let me have a sip. It's no fun if you're drinking alone after all.

[green_eyed]

-Boy is she ever.-

Just... terrible stuff, and... Look, I don't wanna talk about it all, but you have to believe me.