dear_mun | voice-testing; canon is overwatch

Now there's a theory, but you know, I consider myself an expert on relaxing-

[ Says the very high strung little robot here. ]

And usually it involves less seeking silence and more doing something fun, you know, like... say, come to think of it, doing nothing! You might be on the right track there, pally! Except you're missing the important part, location, location, location, now if this were a beach, then wow, we'd be talking.

Or not, as it were, but you get the sentiment, huh? Yeaaaah yah do.

[ He. Doesn't shut up often. ]

[Ah, a kindred spirit, of sorts; this one's design is not familiar to him, but he's obviously some kind of Omnic. Zenyatta waits patiently for him to finish before answering, with just a hint of well-meaning humour in his voice.]

I understand you well enough, my friend. A beach would be ideal, but there is peace to be found even in the busiest of places. Have you meditated before?

[Of course, that's assuming he can get to the question. He has a slow, deliberate way of speaking that's not exactly conducive to conversation with a chatterbox.]

[ For all the serene subtly of the mechanical monk, XR has an abundance of fidgety energy. So Zenyatta does indeed get interrupted just before the question gets asked. ]

Oooh yeah, say no more, I getcha, what you're saying is where there's a lot of footfall, there's a piece of the action to be nabbed!

[ That comes with some hand rubbing of the greedy, very material desire based sort. ]

Well, I like the way you think, what were you thinking? Get some gullible fellas looking for a bit of piece of mind, feed 'em some bogus hocus pocus, then BAM! Tell them the answers they need to the questions you've gotten in their heads are in this here book, fifty unibucks a pop- tell you what, we'll split it eighty-twenty, no alright you've convinced me, sixty-forty.

Edited (whoops html) 2016-08-23 21:41 (UTC)

[- and never mind he's being cut off okay. That's fine. He's all prepared to just sit out XR's latest outburst with a little more of that inexhaustible patience and ask again afterwards- but the longer it goes on, the more obvious the answer to his question becomes.

As soon as he stops speaking Zenyatta has to take a moment, just to let the quiet sit.]

... you appear to have misunderstood. I share my insights for the benefit of all, no matter their circumstances. [a little more sternly:] Not for profit, and not to deceive. Reflect on your priorities, my friend.

[ XR does reflect on those words, tapping on the fish bowl around his head where his chin would be, glancing around, blinking rapidly. Pacing back and forth. Hmming and hawing.

Eventually he nods firmly and-]

I got it, you've helped me see the light, we're on the same page.

Seminars. Why waste cash on making the books for one rube at a time, when we can a hundred at in the street! Oh, you are a shrewd one, I'll give you that!

[ Seeing the lifeform so calmly composed reminds me of the Korvax. The words, though I expect them to be unintelligible, are perfectly clear to me. Perhaps in attempt to appeal to the Korvax-like lifeform, I speak like I expect them to speak to me. Short, broken, pointedly. ]

'The silence within yourself'? The silence beyond yourself. The silence within the stars. Beyond the stars?

[ For that is where I'm from; Somewhere in the void of the universe. That is the silence I know. ]

... Master?

Genji...! [His surprise is audible, but so is his pleasure; the lights in his forehead glow just a little brighter for a moment.] It lifts my spirit to meet you here, of all places. Are you well?

[ _{The ninja, in his youth, had once been described as a 'hugger'; the urges still remained, except now he had learnt the art of self restraint. He gets to his knees before his master and ducks his head in a deep bow, absolutely gleeful to find the other. Genji's fingers shake as they curl against the ground... the world, for a moment, seems a little less dim in his eyes.} ]

Master, I am in a bad place. Our meeting may be brief; I have been stolen into another world, a world of war. The threat of danger looms over every souls shoulder. I do not know how to rest when everything has grown so dark.

[ _{He speaks too fast, accompanied by a rising pitch-- The world of maskormenace is a nightmare parading as dream, this, he is sure of. He is owned by a military there. The absence of freedom has become a great struggle for the troubled man.} ]

Genji... [Softly, calmly. It isn't that Zenyatta is not listening- he's taking in every single word, and he doesn't like the sound of any of them- but they do neither of them any good while he is in a state of panic.

Once he's run out of steam, Zenyatta bends at the waist in a bow of his own before dropping smoothly to the floor in front of his student, like a snake falling into coils, and places both hands on the man's shoulders with infinite care. Simple exercises first. Then an explanation.]

Be still, my student. Close your eyes. [His orbs whir a soft melody of their own as they widen their orbit and part about Genji's prostrate form, encircling the both of them.]

... As you wish, master.

[ _{He obeys but, like the early days, it is with great difficulty. Behind the glare of his visor his eyes flutter shut and he attempts to empty his mind of the worries that had been nagging him, the impending war, the threat of violence, Mercy's reluctance to leave and his constant inability to fit in anywhere, renewed by his stark differences in this other world.

His masters touch however gradually drags him back to snowy Nepal where he was really at rest. It is out of respect that tries not to cave, tuning in to the sound of the orbs, but his teeth (both fake and real) grind harshly together-- he can't. He can't find rest. In Nepal where he imagines them he sees Mercy being dragged away and him being torn to pieces for disobeying authority. The melody becomes like sirens, droning like they had before he had met Zenyatta in the first place. The fire within him burns so intensely the vents atop his shoulders start hsssssssing steam against the Omnic's touch--}]

Master... [_{His voice cracks, barely above a whisper, but he knows he should stay quiet and thus... nothing else.} ]

[It almost works. For a few precious seconds Zenyatta can feel the tension sapping away from Genji's shoulders, replaced by a peace that falls like snow on the both of them- and then it's gone. His body all but begins to tremble and suddenly he's venting steam straight through his splayed fingers in hard, frantic gasps.

The lights in Zenyatta's faceplate flicker his concern. He hasn't seen his student in a state like this since their first weeks together, and the intimacy they've cultivated in that time has made it all the more acutely distressing to watch him struggle. The real irony is that, to offer any real comfort, Zenyatta knows that he must empty his own mind, too, and it's a lot harder than he thought it would be. He hums, softly, turns his attention inward, and gives himself over to the Iris.

If peace is snow then this, this transcendence, is pure sunlight, filling him inside and out with all the heat and silence.]

Hold strong, Genji. [Through the light he stretches forward one new, ghostly hand and places it fleetingly on Genji's head.] Hush. I am with you.

[ _{The familiar warmth is like sitting before the stone hearths of the temples; there were always few humans visiting but when they were they were lit to provide comfort from the howling winds beyond the great arches. The feeling was precious, lively and rejuvenating, like it could snatch away even the harshest feelings from the hearts of the most wicked beings. If he could, Genji thinks solemnly, he would make a home in this feeling. There would be no returning to the dark outdoors, there would be no suffering any more. But to live so splendidly in the fleeting moment would leave an absence of discord, which he knows, is essential to life.

He thinks of the hearths and thinks of the nights in front of them. Watching the fire flicker and dance before his closed eyes is what he holds as the key to pushing aside those thoughts-- but hes outside in the snow. If he can empty his mind, he could be content beside that warmth once more... and it was just a few steps away. The snowfall was fading into nothingness and he, standing beside the Omnic on the weathered rock, was going... to reach that peace.

He becomes still and silent, fingers interlinked before him; though they begged to twitch and the threat of guns were echoing in Nepal's mountains, by that sun above him he promises himself he will not stumble. His light is here. It was no longer so cold. As a breath, almost lost to the wind,} ]

... I am with you.

[So he is. Genji's presence emerges as if from the heart of a deep, silent pool, and then they are one. Zenyatta does not breathe but he feels his chest rise and fall with his student's nonetheless, as though they shared lungs, bodies. Time seems malleable; they could be spending hours like this, but little more than thirty seconds or so passes before the light fades and the world around them melts back into solidity.

Zenyatta gives a low sigh of satisfaction and lifts his head. The extra arms have vanished now, but it takes him a little longer to remove his two real hands, and in the end he compromises on just the one. The other stays put on Genji's shoulder; the moment is still too raw for him to fully let go just yet. He can still hear the panic in his voice.]

As you always shall be. Rise, my student. [A moment in the Iris will have been a poor salve for however this "place" has injured him, he's sure, but he may at least be calm enough now to full explain himself.] I have heard that there are many worlds here- tell me of yours.

[ _{The storm that had been making his faux heart race in his chest had lulled, every beat now becoming a pulse of rejuvenation that he felt washed over them both-- and he swore the moment one of the others hands lifted from him he felt it skip. A hand is raised tentatively before falling atop Zenyatta's as the other one still resided on his shoulder, the touch light but the meaning strong; do not leave me just yet. It was the fear of losing the light.

And even as he is told to stand he never breaks the touch; rising to his feet he simply moves the others hand so that he is now holding it gently, like a toddler clinging to its parent. When Genji speaks now his voice is airy and delicate, like a fragile peace had been made that was just that-- something that was ready to splinter at any given moment. He concentrates on his masters face and roots himself in the others 'expression'; Zenyatta always looked at peace... though it was because he could not change his facial expression, the student found great comfort in his companions calmness.} ]

I shall. [ _{A pause to collect his thoughts.} ] ... I've been kidnapped to America. They enlist you there as a 'hero' and you have no choice but to pledge allegiance to them and their future war. If you do not... they leave you with nothing. I have told many there that I do not wish to war and they say there is nothing that can be done; I must wait for the inevitable to come, for the fighting to begin, and then I must remember that pledge and stick through to it.

But I do not want to fight. Doctor Ziegler is there and she is content with staying and helping, but I do not want to return to what I once was... I cannot go back to war.

[ _{The last time he had been taken by a authorial company he had been used to kill his family; he had been owned by the body they had built for him and, as a result, he had stumbled across Nepal in a maddened state. After all they had been through, he did not want to forsake all his Master had taught him because he has no choice. The grip on the others hand becomes a tad tighter as his head turns, looking off to the side...} ]

... But I am thankful, at least, that you are not there, Master. If they ever sought to control you... [ _{The grip gets tighter still,} ]

Then... then I would have to tear them apart... or die trying.

[Zenyatta braces himself and listens, not just to what Genji has to say but to the sound of his voice, soft-spoken and even and serious, waiting for the inevitable break, though he knows he shouldn't. Until just a moment ago he could barely speak. It's hard enough not to thread their fingers together and squeeze, just a little, for solidarity.

The details come out easily enough, to begin with. Silent throughout, he images a world like their own, on the brink, stealing heroes for the encroaching storm. Forcing them. The mention of Doctor Ziegler startles him into his first reaction, a sharp jerk of the head, as though it's been forced up by the chin. He is not alone there- in fact, he cannot think of anyone he would trust more with his safety than her- and that, at least, is something to be thankful for. But the longer it goes on, the harder it becomes to hear. He can feel that grip, closing about his hand like a bear-trap, as though he might vanish at a moment's notice. Which, if what Genji is saying is true, he very well might.

What he didn't expect, however, was for the sudden shift in tone as he finishes.]

Genji... [For a moment he's completely unable to answer for Genji's intensity, knowing in an instant that he means it with absolute sincerity- and knowing, equally, that in his shoes he cannot swear he would be the better man. As though he hasn't felt protective enough of his student, so wise now and yet so vulnerable too.]

You have endured much. It fills me with pride to see you stand by your convictions, but- [and here he falters, almost imperceptibly-] - but it pains me to think of you standing alone. Doctor Ziegler is a good woman, with her own path to follow. She has looked war in the eyes before. I am sure she will serve their cause well, if that is what she has chosen.

[There's a small pause. Now there's fondness in his voice, tired but audible.] If I arrived there tomorrow, the very last thing I would want would be for you to do either of those things. I do not know how long I would have to meditate to find the strength to forgive you for being so reckless. [He's joking, very slightly. But it's true even so.] There truly is no other way?

[ _{The others light jest warrants him a smile, hidden beneath his visor, but there all the same. It doesn't displace his tone.} ]

I wish there was another way... but there is not.

[ _{It's worrying... that the thought of defending the other with his blade and soul makes him retract his hands, the metal of his fingers grazing the others as he moves. He can hear the worry in the others tone and seeks to quell it, but the mannerisms and words that he imagines as 'strong' are nothing but worrying in themselves; finding strength in duty wasn't a good thing. But the dragon would rear his fangs, both him and Zenyatta knew, for like the beast he would destroy those that would harm the ones he loved. Destroy being the key word.} ]

Would you... ever think about seeking passage there? [ _{A curious statement very tenderly said--} ] I am asking because if I was ever to be stuck there permanently...I... I know you would most definitely worry--

[ ... For a split second he had vaguely asked for an eventual rescue-- he didn't want him there! Those were his original thoughts! He had just stated that! And now he is certain he is once again driving himself mad and stops thinking for a second, having spent an agonizingly long time in silence, intense about nothing yet everything. Genji hadn't even mentioned that he was moving in with Angela but for bad reasons; he had told her he would guard her. Genji knew however that if he told the Omnic of how he had been behaving in the other world as a whole... his fingers begin to rhythmically curl and uncurl, wishing he hadn't let go.

The cause of his conflict is clearer to him now; his heart wants his master to be there, but his head knows that dragging another into that mess was cruel. But he wants to guard. Not just Mercy; he wants a purpose and something to put his mind to that wasn't war. He finds great shame in this... and tensely put, out of nowhere, ]

I am sorry, Master. [ _{A bowing of his head.} ] I shouldn't have spoken as such. I am a fool.

[_{But I miss you so much... He echoes in his head, ... How am I to survive this without you?} ]

Edited 2016-09-15 01:17 (UTC)

[Little traces of anxiety are already starting to creep back into the cyborg's body language- though not for the reason he expected. There's something about the way Genji asks that, even before he finishes the question, makes Zenyatta's heart sink; it's so uncertain, so apologetic, and it's tinged by the knowledge that there are very few people in the world he would dare make himself so vulnerable for. For him to take that risk now... not only must he be sincere, but desperate, too.

Genji doesn't need him- Zenyatta believes that with all his heart, even if he doesn't- and yet he understands. How could he fail to understand? Even hearing about what he's been put through makes him want to come running, across worlds, across universes. He's his student. After everything they've been through together he doubts he'll ever be able to shake that basic need to protect.

What he'd like to do is laugh quietly, with affection, and put his hands on his shoulders again: Oh, Genji. Instead, he shakes his head to silence any further self-deprecation.]

You say there is a war. Though you do not know if the cause is just- if there can ever be a "just" war- there will be suffering regardless. [It's what he's been thinking for a while now, turning the possibilities over and over in his head.] Where there is suffering, I will always strive to bring relief. Especially if that suffering includes yours, my student. [The smile is back in his voice.] I shall meditate on such gross preferential treatment later. If the pathway opens to me, I shall not hesitate to walk it.

[ _{Funnily enough... Mercy had said something similar; she hated war, but her need to help in it was just too great.}]

I do not know what the war is for... but I do not have a will to protect people I have no bonds with. I am not like you or Doctor Ziegler.

[ _{There's a little bit of an indignant scoff; it is more childish than harsh but it makes a change from his displaced demeanor at least. Thankfully, though his innermost desires lay unspoken... his dark prayers are answered. It's never unnerving how much Zenyatta knows him and, in fact, in times like this, he's extremely grateful that the Omnic has seen him at his highest and his lowest. Made times like this easier. The cyborg's words become quieter and he raises one to curl at the base of his helm in a open manner, personal and gentle. He doesn't feel like even if he spent an eternity with the other right now, it wouldn't be long enough. He'd have to go back... to the other world.} ]

If I can be truthful... you are everything that reminds me of home. Doctor Ziegler nags me. She reminds me of a time before I met you, when I was hurting and sad. I don't think I've ever told you...

[ _{Softly and delicately, as if he expects the worst to happen in the future,}]

... But I really do consider my life to have started the day I found you.

[That is true, and it is one of the things he has had to compromise on with Genji in the past- of the two of them, he is the one who has actually seen the battlefield, after all, and that demands respect. Besides, there's something in the way that he says it that lifts Zenyatta's spirits. For all he's matured, for everything he's seen and feared, there still lives in him a rebellious streak that cannot quite be contained. Even though he's looking into a visor, for a moment he fancies he can see a younger man, lip curled, eyes bright with playful impudence.

He would laugh, were it not for the way Genji sobers, as if he were suddenly all too aware of his master's gaze. It is not his honesty that surprises him so much as his vulnerability, as though there were any secrets between them at all.

What he does tell him is not a secret- but it is personal, and sincere. Instead of laughing Zenyatta chuckles in a soft, silvery way, completely without malice.]

Doctor Ziegler is a doctor. She cannot help but nag- it is practically her job. But... [He pauses.] ... perhaps you are right. Existence is cyclical, is it not? We live a thousand lives and die a thousand deaths, moving from one form to another as we draw ever nearer to the Iris: we are light and energy. On the day I met you, you had already been extinguished. [There's a smooth, practiced confidence in his voice, even more pronounced than usual; he's been thinking on this for a long time now.] In a sense, what I came to witness in you was true reincarnation: you were reborn, not on that day, but the time that followed.

[Another pause. His gaze has wandered, almost dreamily, to the world around them, but now he looks back to Genji with absolute focus. Devotion, in its own way.] You were the agent of your own transformation. Not me. And I am truly blessed to have been by your side, as your guide- and as your friend.

[ _{He knows he's supposed to ponder existence but sometimes... he just thinks life is too strange and convoluted to even follow the many paths just a single life could lead you- the idea of a hundred others... its almost unfathomable. But maybe... that is the point. He had a belief once that his soul had been lost with the rest of him but now he knew it roared within him with every second he existed on this God-forsaken planet.

His brother saw him as the sparrow that had plummeted to the ground, clipped, but like the dragon he was he had climbed back into the world of the living with his fangs still in tact. Zenyatta was right. As usual. Though rebirth usually meant the discarding of ones own life he sometimes struggled to rid himself of it, as if it was his own shadow chasing him. But in his quest for the eternal light to shine down upon him, the shadow grew shorter, frayed at the edges, bit at him less while he slept-- Mercy reminded him that that shadow existed while his master was fragmenting it little by little, and caught between the two, he found himself feeling very... human.

The man raises his fingers now; catching the latches of the side of his mask, steam rolling betwixt the fixtures and over the notches of where the metal met his face. There is just a little pause, a barely see-able stuttering of his movement, before he lifts the top half of his helm from his skull. He almost forgot how to take it off in the first place, it seems.

It has been ... a very long time since he had taken that helmet off. Sleeping in it was not an inconvenience as the sides of the mask were always present even if the top was missing and he rarely trusted anyone with seeing him-- the real him-- enough to ever really remove it. There has only ever been three people in his life to gaze upon him like this, the first being Mercy, the second being Zenyatta, and the third being his recent run in with his brother... but it has been months.

He is still as pale as ever with his jet black hair rough and seemingly falling out in places like trees shedding themselves in the wake of winter. The bottom part covers his chin and mouth and cheeks which now bore the jutting of his cheekbones as well as the scars that shredded every inch of his skin in thick, white lines. Though, despite the ugliness that was effectively him... his eyes are looking at the other with so much warmth, feelings that couldn't be conveyed through his visors glare, that it was like he had found a way to encapsulate the sun itself within him. It matters not that they are framed by horrid shades of grey where he didn't sleep enough for in that moment, with his expression free'd, he displays a tenderness that couldn't have been achieved otherwise. He doesn't know the last time Zenyatta saw his face but he knows it has been a vast while. It doesn't bother him one bit.

Genji's weakness was his heart; if anyone could ever reach it... vulnerability was not an issue. He would trust them one hundred percent with his life, and he would hold steadfast with them for one hundred percent of theirs.} ]

You do not give yourself enough credit, master. There cannot be reincarnation without fire and life and light, and if you had not been that light out of the darkness I would have lost myself... completely.

[ _{The cyborg moves; not to sit in front of the other but rather... sit beside him now, the helmet-top upon his lap. A deep breath in... a lofty exhale. Artificial or not, it felt real. This was the calmness he had lost earlier; the fragility lost, gone with the discussion, nerves now fleeting merely because he doesn't want to ruin a heart-to-heart. Those feelings are there still, starting to get buried by sheer will but this discussion was still acted as if he was going to disappear and never return-- but in some respects... that is a possibility. He just really wants joy before that.}]

And as your friend, I can say it feels so good... to walk once more in the sun. If the end is approaching, if I die in war... I can at least think back to this meeting. The end will not be in darkness. I have been blessed with everything you have taught me and more. Even now I still continue to grow around you, still learning as if I am a child.

[ _{His eyes close but he gives a laugh that is so painfully joyous and raw, full of emotion yet playful.} ]

In my next life... I wish to really be a sparrow.

[How long has it been since Genji last revealed himself? Too long, from the sounds of it, when what he needs is sunlight and warmth. As the helmet detaches Zenyatta finds that he is drinking in every detail of his face, searching every mottled inch for fresh scars or wounds, and it occurs to him suddenly that he must know it by heart. So little of his body must be made of flesh and blood still; it brings out an oddly protective streak in him, a need to protect what he knows in his heart is a disposable shell to any man, omnic or human.

But it isn't long before his attention his drawn elsewhere, to the intensity of his student's gaze. Radiant. It's the only word for it, glowing from the darks of his eyes and the gentle creases around them; he's smiling with every part of his being, and the thought floods Zenyatta with a familiar pride. Memories of those early days, the first time Genji smiled with him, the first time he laughed, when it had seemed he would never do either again.]

Is that so? Then I shall not disdain your gratitude.

[Gently, as though he were reaching out for some priceless heirloom, he places a hand on the top of Genji's helmet. After the initial panic he realises that, above all else, he feels peaceful, the way most humans must feel after a good meal. It makes him want to stretch out somewhere, together, and rest. Quiet contemplation. Nothing overly demanding.] ... perhaps it is selfish, but... I am relieved that there is still some small part of you that needs me. [Something else to reflect upon later.] When you fly, my sparrow- and I know you will fly- I ask only that you come back to me. One day.

Edited 2016-09-19 20:06 (UTC)

voice-testing; canon is overwatch

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// I DIDNT SEE A NOTIFICATION FOR YOUR REPLY IM SO MAD I WAS WAITING DAMN IT DW

it's all good in the hood my dude

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// catches the feels I WROTE SO MUCH DONT FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO REPLY WITH MUCH WHAT HAVE I DONE OMG

oHHH NO this got so gay so quickly