a new and fresh perspective on overwatch, I'M CALLING YOU OUT BLIZZARD

[subparkour]

Blizzard, you freaking hacks! Original character designs my superior spandex-covered ass!





Wow, look at that! A plucky optimistic British brunette!



Wow, look at that! A plucky optimistic British brunette! What, still not convinced? Well after over nine thousand hours in MS Paint, I've conjured up proof that Blizzard stole my best friend's likeness!



No fucking duh they named her Tracer! They traced right over my best friend's appearance to make her! My lawyers will be calling about this!

... Totes unrelated, are there any lawyers out there who are willing to work cheap? I mean real cheap. I mean, like, "loose changed fished out from the couch cushions" cheap.

Comments

I couldn't help myself xD

[hangemhighmccoy]

No.

bless

[subparkour]

"No" is right! No way we're gonna let this injustice go unpunished! How much do you think we can sue for? I'm thinking we settle for a billion, but we can definitely aim higher.

omg I love you

[hangemhighmccoy]

No. Just. No.

[thebarkside]

Yeah, but does he have a butt as nice as hers?

[subparkour]

Well.

No.

I mean that's not even fair. They had to take some artistic liberties.

[classic_salt_dorito]

Oh crap, and I'm a hotshot giant robot pilot only I wear pink instead of red, I'm Korean not German, and my MEKA isn't made of meat and blasphemy!

Yeah, no. Don't you have a League of Legends game you should be losing and then blaming your team for?

[subparkour]

No, I have a Call of Duty game I should be losing and then blaming my team for. God.

... I'm also gonna ignore that reference you were trying to make, because anime is for losers.

[classic_salt_dorito]

Oh. Of COURSE. I should have guessed. Have fun 'tubing.

(Sloooowly blows her bubblegum. Pops it. Chews it again.)

And you did get the reference, so what does that make you?

[subparkour]

Please, nobody bothers tubing in Blops 3. C'mon, get serious.

... Look, just because I had a complicated childhood and made some mistakes as far as what shit I used to watch doesn't mean I'm a loser now.

[classic_salt_dorito]

Sure, sure. So, which is Best Pony?

(D.Va is having entirely too much fun with this.)

[subparkour]

Which one makes the best glue?

[classic_salt_dorito]

Obviously the one with a gluestick decal on her thighs, duh.

Good luck suing Blizzard. You should crowdfund it, so that people can donate a dollar just to see what happens.

[subparkour]

Hey, you wanna look at pony legs, that's all you. I'd say "no judging here" but I'm kind of super judging you.

--but that's a great idea! The people will totally get behind this! Who doesn't want to help take a shot at Big Video Games and their lies?

[sugartitties]

We're all copies, y'know.

[subparkour]

Speak for yourself! I'm 100% original, baby. Not based on anyone or anything in any way whatsoever.

[sugartitties]

Really. So you're not like a wannabe hero that acts like tough shit but is actually insecure about shit and wants chicks to dig him by using cheesy lines which fuckin' fails and so you continue to be a twenty-something year old kissless-hugless virgin?

[subparkour]

... I neither affirm nor deny these allegations.

But! That doesn't make me a copy of someone, so shove it.

[sugartitties]

Shove it where?

[subparkour]

Pick an orifice, any orifice.

[sugartitties]

What if I want you to shove it in me?

[subparkour]

... wait, what are we actually talking abo--

Oh!

I get it.

It's a sex thing.

[sugartitties]

You're the clueless virgin ever. And a sucky boyfriend. F minus.

[subparkour]

Woah woah woah woah woah. Woah.

I'm your boyfriend?

[sugartitties]

You like me, don't you?

[subparkour]

Yeah? I mean, mostly? You piss me off sometimes, but everyone does so that's no big.

I just... I dunno. How does that kind of thing become official?