On stupid AU's, lacking a clear vision and Irish Coffee ...

[rebelscumfather]

This is the stupidest idea you've ever had.

Don't dismiss me, you shit, I'm talking to you. Shut up and listen for a minute.

You have no idea where to put me, if anyone is going to talk to me, and you keep changing your mind about 'what I'm supposed to be.' As if it was up to you at all. Christ, the delusions of grandeur with you are something else ...

And let's get another thing straight. It's not 'too early' for an Irish Coffee. You can drink it anytime. With you behind the keys, I'm pretty sure I'm going to need booze early and often.

Comments

[dadimrighthere]

You've had somewhere you belong this whole time, you know...

[He's so sincere. As he hands Han a pamphlet for a retirement community]

[rebelscumfather]

[Oh, it is way, waaaaayyyy to early for this.]

Ben. You have a gift for annoying me and absolutely no others as far as I've been able to observe.

[dadimrighthere]

Pretty sure that's genetic.

[With his parents being who they are, there was no way he wasn't going to turn into some kind of smartass.]

I thought not belonging anywhere and being some kind of loner was your excuse for being shit at people. Regretting that a bit late, aren't we?

[rebelscumfather]

You might not have noticed this about me, because you lack my observational prowess, but I hate being bored. Being stuck in the house with you is bound to make me crazy.

[dadimrighthere]

You were playing strip poker with Uncle Lando and the rest of the geriatrics last night.

While I was home.

How can you be bored already.

[rebelscumfather]

[His father adopts that thoughtful tilt to his head and can't help but feel that smug smile on his lips.]

Only one with pants on at the end of the night. I'd just like to point that out.

[But that's not the point ...]

That ended a good four or five hours ago. I'm not working this weekend and you're not going to Luke's.

[He doesn't need to elaborate on why that's a potential problem, does he?]

[dadimrighthere]

Can't you go bother Mom?

[You know he can't, Ben. It's election season at the senate. Now he kind of wishes he was being shunted off to Uncle Luke's this weekend. But nooooooo, Uncle Luke is tutoring some new girl who moved in.]

...Maybe I'll go spend the weekend at Hux's.

[rebelscumfather]

Can't you make any other friend?

If Holden Caulfield and the Hilter Youth had a snotty kid, I'm pretty we'd end up with Hux.

[dadimrighthere]

Wow, RUDE.

[Hux does like The Catcher in the Rye and Mein Kampf though. And Nietzsche. Hm. Maybe keep that to himself.]

What's wrong with the Catcher in the Rye, anyway? It's required in every Lit class ever.

[rebelscumfather]

It's pretentious, like most of the things you have to read in a lit class.

[You want to really disappoint your father, Ben? Tell him you want to study Liberal Arts when you get to college.]

[dadimrighthere]

Do you actually like anything anyone else recommends to you?

[Who's going to college? Joining the military maybe. or...well..he could see himself studying ancient Imperial History...]

[rebelscumfather]

When it's not something stupid, sure.

[He's got this undeserved reputation of being a contrarian. He has no idea where it came from. Also, you in the military, kid? Don't make him laugh.]

[dorkvader]

I agree.

[rebelscumfather]

Hey dad. Gotta love that modern medicine is still keeping you around.

[No really. He's like ... so thrilled.]

[dorkvader]

Someone has to keep an eye on this family.

[Behold the power of technology and spite.]

And don't call me dad.

[rebelscumfather]

You have your work cut out for you.

[So he supposes he ought to indulge his father-in-law. Besides, he's vaguely curious ... ]

So, it's not often you agree with me. Which thing were you agreeing with?

[dorkvader]

I know right.

[You guys will be the death of him.]

This is the stupidest idea you mun ever had... [He's can't believe you walked right into that.]

Oh yeah, the coffee part too.

Hey! There's at least three people regularly indulging in this crack ...

[rebelscumfather]

[Raises a cup of Bailey's spiked coffee]

Cheers.

lol... he is going to troll you for eternity... sorry

[dorkvader]

[Lifts his latte, it's a shame he has to drink with a straw.]

Whatever.

[He's trying, okay. He still hates you.]

You're not sorry.

[rebelscumfather]

[Whatever? Yeah, that's about the best he can hope for from 'dad']

a little... but it's too fun to stop.

[dorkvader]

So... what are your plans for Ben? If you're taking this being a parent thing seriously...

[school, work... getting out of the house other than with his weird friends.]

[rebelscumfather]

You would adopt a 'plans' for child regardless of what they actually want for themselves parenting style, wouldn't you?

I'm just trying to make sure he doesn't become a mass-murderer.

In hindsight, maybe you should have been a little more stern, Han old buddy.

[dorkvader]

Children don't know what they want for themselves. That's why they have parents.

Have you considered sending him to the Imperial Academy? I have contacts you know.

[rebelscumfather]

Military school? My kid? For half a second I thought you were serious.

[dorkvader]

What? Like he couldn't use a little discipline?

Besides, that's not all they teach. It's surprisingly well rounded.