Getting aboard the Rogue One hype train ...

[i_rebel]

Hey,

I get that you're excited, I guess. It's fun for you to watch this stuff.

It's a lot less fun to live it, trust me.

It's just ... you're a little early. And by a little, I mean a lot. You might want to cut back on the stims or something.

Comments

[dorkvader]

Talk about an early adopter. [Don't mind him as he sips his latte.]

[i_rebel]

A little bit.

[Jyn dressed in crisp Imperial Uniform blends in with the other of Palatine's followers, does she not? Don't mind her. She's just blending in for now and plotting to steal the plans to your Death Star.]

Good evening Lord Vader. Are you ... well? I expected you to look ...

[Well, not so two dimensional, to be perfectly honest.]

[dorkvader]

[3D isn't in the budget. They can always go back and fix it later.]

... Like what exactly. [No really, he wants to hear your opinion on him. Go on. It's not like he's going to force choke you or anything.]

[i_rebel]

[...]

Why so imposing and so strong, of course. [What else could she have meant.] Have you been working out?

[dorkvader]

[Really? That's what you're going with? Lame.]

Perhaps you think flattery will get you a promotion?

[Seriously, you're young enough to be his daughter... ick.]

Well, it won't... that's entirely up to the personnel department.

[Except for his ship, those are usually field promotions... you don't want one of those. Nobody wants one of those.]

[i_rebel]

[Hey? How's she supposed to know he's an old codger under the helmet. It not like he takes it off as often as some of the younger grandfather-worshipping sith knights around here.]

You're right, sir. Forgive me for being so unprofessional. I'm new here.

[dorkvader]

[Hey, he's not that old. More of a late middle ages than codger territory. And no, funny story, he can't take his helmet off outside of his chamber actually. Thanks for pointing that out.]

Apology accepted. Don't let it happen again.


Um... do you know where the coffee maker is?

[The Death Star is huge, how's he supposed to remember where everything is? They need a frickin map or something.]

[i_rebel]

Well, not exactly.

[She did just mention being 'new' and all. And by new, we mean a Rebel spy that has no idea where to find coffee makers here.]

I feel like that's something important for every new recruit though, so, we should find it together, sir.

Or do you like 'my lord'?

[dorkvader]

[Do you know how many Bothans have already been caught and killed trying to get those plans? He's not exactly worried at the moment. Eventually spies thoughts betray them. Right now, his coffee mug is dangerously close to being empty.]

[Priorities.]

I'm not a Sith Lord for nothing you know. Just don't call me Darth, only my friends call me that.

[Protip: He doesn't really have any friends. Well, except maybe for TK 8008, he's pretty cool.]

[i_rebel]

[If the Bothans were better spies, they wouldn't have been dying left and right. We can't confirm or deny the presense of Bothans on our mission, but we think maybe there were more of them stealing the plans for DEATH STAR v 2.0.]

As you wish, Lord Vader.

[Jyn even fires off a polite bow of the head to show her sincerity.]

[dorkvader]

[Oh yeah... dang, how many of the darn things are they going to blow up. Rude.]

I have to say, I'm glad personnel finally got their act together. They're always complaining that they 'need more men' and I'm always like 'well there's your problem right there. Try hiring some women you sexist jerks'.

[Sips his latte.]

I mean seriously. How do they expect to run something this size by only employing white dudes?

Bunch of Assholes.

[i_rebel]

[As many as you guys are going to make.]

You raise a good point, my lord.

Not that sentients in this galaxy seem to be able to agree on much, but the Emperial regime does stand to make a lot of enemies with a white boys only stance.

I'm just humbled by the chance to prove myself in the Emperors worthy pursuits.

[dorkvader]

The galaxy will finally know order and through order, a lasting peace. This is a noble goal, you should be proud.

[Is he just selling her the cool-aid or does he genuinely believe it? Who knows.]

Serve the Empire well and you will be rewarded.

[i_rebel]

[You know, that kinda spin doesn't make it seem so bad.]

[Except for the times she's remembering getting nearly stomped on by an AT-AT or the weapons they have that can destroy *whole* planets.]

An end to the fighting will be it's own reward, My Lord.

[dorkvader]

[Hey, you can't make an omelet without crushing a few eggs. She chose to be an egg.]

The Emperor plans on this station being the end to that fighting.

[He's personally skeptical, but it will be persuasive for a great many systems.]

[i_rebel]

It does seems like the sort of weapon that would crush the fight out of anyone.

[dorkvader]

The chaos of war will only end when it becomes impossible to consider. Peace without force is a lie.