dear_mun | (no subject)

Responsible, Merry, is dealing civilly with Lobelia and countless other relatives claiming a connection to Bilbo and his supposed wealth just hours after he left.

You don't know how much I wanted to climb out the nearest window.

[ sob, frodo. ]

It must be very hard for you to deal with them. Maybe next time you should call me and Pip, and perhaps Sam, too! Just so we can face them all together.

I managed to keep my tongue only because you were there standing between the Sackville-Baggins and my sanity. For not being "responsible" yet, you certainly do have a responsible streak in you.

[And seeing Merry barely keeping civil helped too, especially since it was probably taking everything not to say something incredible to their faces. Although Frodo almost wished he had]

Pippin and Sam along as well would make for a very dangerous combination. I don't think Bag End would have survived.

Then the four of us ought to stay as close together as possible. I don't think this is the last we'll see your... relatives.

Now why would you even think of such a thing in passing?

[he shudders]

Your idea doesn't sound bad at all, but there's a fatal flaw. Sam does actually have work to do, you know. As do I. seeing as I am a responsible hobbit now, unlike a certain Master Brandybuck

Then Pip and I can probably be your bodyguards! Provided, of course, that our services will be rendered in exchange for a few things.

You two as bodyguards! I think your combined reputation alone will scare off my relatives, at least, until something else more interesting has caught your fancy! Then I may find myself with two vacant spots at my sides.

Now we get to it. Down to business, I like that. What sort of payment are you asking, Master Brandybuck?

[He tries to keep a very solemn face]

Edited 2012-03-24 05:21 (UTC)

[ he tries to straighten himself because this is important ] Now we have to be clear that what I'm asking might be different from Pip's, and that you have to honor them both, all right?

Of course. [Gravely] I would never dream of making such an assumption on Master Took's part.

However, I can't make any promises until I have heard your terms first.

Right, right. [ solemnly now: ] First, I want an unlimited access to Gandalf's firework supply.

[Frodo was about to drink some of the ale nearby and it's very lucky he hadn't fully taken the sip, because it almost goes up his nose when he snort-gasps into the tankard]

What?!

[ he nods and nods and almost rubs his hands together with glee. ]

You heard me, Frodo.

[Frodo nurses the ale that almost went wasted with a small glare]

I will have to talk to Gandalf about it first. You know how wizards can be. Now, you said "the first" of your terms.

No, no, no. You don't get it. You cannot talk to Gandalf about this! He'll know immediately that it was me who talked you into talking with him for it!

I think he'll know exactly who put me up to it when I of all hobbits try to ask for unlimited fireworks. He's a wizard.

[that means they know Things]

Now, your terms.

[ ...how can he explain it um. ] Then it might be best if you don't ask at all.

[ why yes that sounds innocent enough don't you think? ]

[Now you've got his attention. Damn you forever, curiosity]

How can I be expected to fairly pay your for your services rendered if the terms aren't clearly set between us?

I meant Gandalf, Frodo! It might be best if you don't ask Gandalf for the fireworks.

[ he wants those things dang it! ]

I am not sending Sam to do it. I like having a gardener and I like having that gardener in particular! With his hair intact!

[stealing from Gandalf is out of the question too. In case you were thinking it Merry.]

Edited 2012-03-24 11:22 (UTC)

[ why yes i am thinking that, fro-bro! how did you think we got the first round of fireworks in the first place? ]

Sam's too... well. He's not fit for something like this.

You mean he's too responsible for something like 'this'.

[And you were caught immediately, with the fireworks now forever out of your direct reach. Being able to take one or two fireworks at all is hardly what one could call unlimited access!]

Well, yes. Can you actually see Sam taking something from Gandalf by himself?

[Frodo thinks on it very carefully but has to admit Merry has a point]

No, he really doesn't seem the type.

Precisely.

[ see, frodo? see why it just has to be you? ]

I'm starting to find your price too steep when it comes to (possibly) having you two remain around long enough to drive off my relatives.

(he could probably get one or two fireworks before Gandalf caught him but he'd at least not get caught immediately like you two, wisdom does come with age]