On The Series Finale; spoilers in comments probably

[abnormalsoon]

Hey. You know what mun? You know what?

3/10.

Sure, there were some good times, laughs were had, I got to reduce people into the pathetic objects they are, it was a pretty great time.

But you know what killed it? I mean, just sent it crashing into the earth harder than a nun falling out of a 747? The ending. I mean, I'm a reasonable demon, I get that not everyone is that creative but come on. The hero dying is the lamest twist in the book.

But hey, you never know. Cause it might be all wrapped up but a lot of times you just don't see the sequel coming.

Comments

[your_best_friend]

You have a lot of gall to call yourself a hero~.

[abnormalsoon]

Hey buddy I'm a modern day Rex Mundi. A demonic Julius Caesor or Nero. Everyone is someone's hero.

I mean, except you.

[your_best_friend]

Golly, you sure do like to leave a lot of things out, don't you? Let me ask you a question.

Which one of us broke the barrier we were stuck in?

[abnormalsoon]

I have a better question who spent most their time murdering everyone stuck in the barrier, Charsriel?

[your_best_friend]

I have no idea what you're talking about! Every monster made it to the surface unscathed, so I obviously didn't murder anyone.

You, on the otherhand, killed a baby. How deplorable!

[abnormalsoon]

See kid there you go. Now every time you think about the 87th time you murdered your dad you can tell yourself you never really did because he's on the surface, miserable and ignored by the remaining family he has left!

Hey I gotta ask how did that feel? I know if I had the chance to kill my dad over and over I would've done it.

[your_best_friend]

Say, I have a better question. How does it feel being wiped from existence for eternity? Your little Axlotl chant did nothing to help.

[abnormalsoon]

Might wanna rethink that buddy. Not like magic is going to always have an immediate affect.

Hey check this out. Who am I?

[And Bill just stands stock still and falls to the ground. And lays there a moment. And then stands back up.]

Did you get it? It's you, after you become completely mindless after keeping yourself underground for the next several thousand years.

Also hey that baby had it coming!

[your_best_friend]

At least I'll still be alive! And not dead by being punched in the face. By a con artist who outconned you.

For a supposed omniscient demon, you sure are dumb when it comes to humans!

[abnormalsoon]

Sure! Alive here! Except for all the variations where the kid kills you, or the second part of your personality hitches a ride with little buddy fell down a hole and kills you and then the universe, or short and stout bones kills you, and hey those are the universes where you have normal deaths! Wanna hear about the one where you off yourself because Jerry got stuck down there with you?

I understand humans great! They're stupid little idiots who scurry around and grab anything they get! An exterminator doesn't wonder why the ants do what they do he just grabs the ant killer and sprays the mound down, baby!

[your_best_friend]

You idiot. If they happened, I would remember it. But I don't so... I know it can be a little hard for someone like you, but try and put two and two together.

See, that's your problem. You think you understand them, but you never take the time to KNOW them. They have hopes, dreams, family, lives, flaws, things they're all good at. You don't know anything.

[awitchdidit]

I've always been fond of the hero's death as a way to tie the story together, myself.

Besides, it's not like anyone stays dead in fantasy. Or cartoons.

[abnormalsoon]

I've always looked at death as kind of being that Spring Break where your car tire deflates halfway through the trip so you have to steal someone else's car.

It's funny, because I'm probably going to have to possess someone.

[awitchdidit]

Certainly a valid strategy for a demon. Someone will find a way to bring you back, certain--

--wait, you did make sure to say something about "as long as evil lurks in the heart of man" or something, right? That's very important.

[abnormalsoon]

Naw, just called out to the ancient power in a backwords prayer. I know, I kind of let slipped up on that, freaked out a little. What can I say I mean they actually got me. Even a broken clock is worth chucking at someone's head at least once. They kind of managed to beam me just hard enough.

[awitchdidit]

No matter how beautiful the story, oh very American demon, it has to come to an end some time. Making that ending beautiful helps.

[abnormalsoon]

Thinks you and I got different ideas of beauty, toots. See, I admire your work. I mean, that is some pretty great murder when you really get going but the whole "the answer is love" thing, I mean come on. You gotta work on that one. Maybe the answer should be "existence is a meaningless black void" or "the answer is setting orphans on fire".

Gotta say, of you witches, I think my favorite is the little mopey black haired one midget one, you know, the one who names all her goons after herself. Chardonay or Merlot or some wine name or something, whatever it was, I dunno. It's not important, but I like her style!

[awitchdidit]

[Her eyes narrow.]

Oh, I just learned a useful 21st century term in my game. Does the word "Edgelord" mean anything to you?

[abnormalsoon]

Hey, don't blame me for being interested in things that actually matter! I don't get you people, caring about meaningless junk like love and family! Life's too short for that, or it is for you I guess! A thousand years might sound like a lot to the humans whose brains you beat out but it's a catnap for me!

[awitchdidit]

Here I am, a renowned demon summoner, trying to give some sympathy to the furniture caste I conjure up to serve me tea, and all it can do is insult me. How boorish.

[cantsayno]

Now don't sell yourself short, Mr. Triangle Demon. I for one found your death extremely creative. Especially all the glitching and contortions. Wow, that was something! If I could die like that, I would.