AU!Kylo Ren wants his Force power back. Spoilers possible in the comments.

[greyorder]

So this is my reward for renouncing the dark side? What am I supposed to do as I am now? I can't possibly be of use to anyone in this state! [He sighs, inhaling deeply once to try to regain his calm.] Greyness is an aberration. I demand you find a way to remedy this. Now more than ever, the Resistance needs Force users.

[You mean Jedi?]

I do not. I no longer know what I mean or what direction I am heading. I scarcely comprehend the condition I am in; I thought I could at least use the dark side of the Force for good ends. To be locked out of any Force usage is unacceptable. I will endure anything you put me through to have it back. They say muns are terrible creatures. I did terrible things, so it would be hypocritical to dislike you for that. Embrace it instead. Throw me into the fire, and we'll see if I can't find my way back to the light after all.

I'm ready now.

Comments

[squadless]

Trial by fire's a good way to learn what you're capable of.

[Neutral, incredibly, solidly neutral, even though there's an itch there either to sock him in the jaw or sling an arm across his shoulders and even Poe's not sure which.]

[greyorder]

That's one way to look at being without the Force. But I'm fairly certain even in piloting circles they don't recommend trial by fire as a first resort, so I'm going to see if I can find another option.

[Hesitating about four seconds too long, he clears his throat and manages a mostly genuine, if tired and wary,] It's good to see you.

[squadless]

Not recommended, no, but effective.

[And there, that hesitation, that genuine edge to the statement, that's enough to have Poe relaxing, something close to his usual smile emerging.] You too.

My only smiling icon is a touch dorky.

[greyorder]

You always did favor effective over safe. [There's a tiny hint of a smile there, if only for a moment.] How've you been? [He's tempted to add 'besides being in trouble' but decides against it. It's not clear how much of their old familiarity has returned just yet.]

And I don't even have an actual smile-icon!

[squadless]

Hey, I only set the kitchen on fire once

[Twice, but who's counting, and the third time was on purpose so it doesn't count anyway.]

And you know me, never get into more trouble than I can get myself out of.

[And if you believe that, we've got a moisture farm to sell you...]

TRAITOR!

[greyorder]

Twice, at least. And just because the third one only produced smoke doesn't mean it didn't do damage.

[Have the flattest of flat looks.] And I've been taking up lightsaber juggling. [The Solo family snark is strong with this one.]

well as soon as I can actually FIND some damn icons I'll use them

[squadless]

[He lifts both brows] Really? So, you going to take that show on the road? Or still just practicing?

[It isn't easy to fall back into that snarky camaraderie that they once had, but it's doable.]

Just use black magic. Or the Dark Side.

[greyorder]

Not until I can do it blindfolded. But apparently asking people to come to your room alone and blindfold you is 'weird' now. [He can't help the grin that creeps across his face. He'd missed this more than he'd realized.]

And just what kind of amateur do you take me for?

[squadless]

Pretty sure that's always been weird.

But hey, I can pull off sequins, if you're still shopping around for an assistant.

It's how I got my icons. Use goose bones, it saves time in the initial summoning.

[greyorder]

You in sequins is the weird part. Although I suppose the enemy stopping and staring in horror gives you an extra second to do your job.

Ohh, that's my problem, I've been using pigeon

[squadless]

See, now you're catching on. Couple moments of startle is all I need.

Duck works well if you're on a budget.

[greyorder]

Why not just fly in naked, then?

I could catch a duck.

[squadless]

I said 'couple moments of startle' not 'just inducing catatonia willy-nilly'

[The smile's sneaking in again, because he missed this more than he thought, and it took getting it back to realize it.]

How were you catching the pigeons?

[greyorder]

I think you mean inducing blindness and horror. Is making your enemies claw their own eyes out a war crime, do you think?

[He does his best to be as deadpan as he can. Just like old times.]

Birdseed's cheaper than cat food.

[squadless]

[He actually -apparently- thinks about that one for a moment, scratching at an ear.]

I think that only counts if you do it on purpose.

[greyorder]

Then you're not going to be arrested yet, but if you use it in the future as anything other than a last resort tactic I'm locking you up myself.

[squadless]

[He tosses a quick mock salute]

Duly noted.

[He's also trying to stifle a laugh, only partially successfully.]

[greyorder]

Duly noted sir, [he corrects, and then has to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. He tries to turn it into a cough.] I have the fancier clothes so I outrank you. And also the cleanest - do I want to know when you last bathed?

[squadless]

So that's how it works. The General's the General because she's the cleanest and fanciest-dressed.

[He can't help it anymore, he finally cracks, laugh warm and rolling and just as easy as his usual smile.]

Makes perfect sense to me.

mom's a bit young but OH WELL

[notimeforsorrow]

Another Force-user? Or, well, someone who once was.

[She has no idea who you are, Ben - she feels like you're familiar, but she's about thirty years too early . . .]

The Rebellion had a lot of help from people who weren't Force-sensitive, you know. The war may be over but there's still a lot of work to do. You don't have to be a Force-user to join us.

[greyorder]

Well it explains your lack of promotions, [he manages before laughing himself, something much more genuine than he's felt in a long time.] Maybe if you got a new jacket you'd do better.

[squadless]

Hey, I made it to Commander, that's all I need.

[And another crooked grin, more at ease than the last]

Considering how often mine keeps getting commandeered by the strays, I'll probably have to get a new one.

All of the moms are welcome!

[greyorder]

[If seeing his five year old mother was weird, this is just surreal. His first thought is that Han Solo should not have been able to get the time of day from someone this attractive. His second thought is please let her not figure out who I am.]

I can get my access to the Force back. It's been done by others. I am significantly more use to you and everyone else with the Force than I am without it.

Besides, I come from a long line of stubborn people. Giving up doesn't register as an option to me.

[greyorder]

That's all you bathe often enough to manage, you mean. I missed many things about you but the smell was not on the list, Poe.

[There, he said it, he missed you and thought of you often. Emotional bonding done.] They'll just commandeer the new one once you do, you know.

[squadless]

[Don't make him noogie you, somehow he'll manage to hell with your growth spurt] I'm still the best-smelling pilot you even know.

And yeah, they will, which is why I've got to get an actual replacement and a decoy replacement.