A memo masterpiece with a cast of thousands... or, okay, of seven

[almostexclusivelyornery]

PAST carcinoGeneticist [PCG] 1 HOUR AGO opened memo on board DEAR_MUN.

PCG: DEAR MUN.
PCG: IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY REDROM LIFE.
PCG: I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU:
PCG: STOP.
PCG: DO YOU SEE THAT WORD? DO YOU SEE IT? IF THERE IS ONLY ONE WORD IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING MEMO THAT YOU ACTUALLY READ AFTER YOU STOP TYPING IT AS MY SIMPERING PROXY, I PRAY TO YOUR FAKE BUT APPARENTLY SOMEHOW STILL WELL-RESPECTED ALIEN GOD FOR IT TO BE THAT ONE.
PCG: DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH I'VE LEARNED ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT EXCUSE FOR CULTURE HERE.
PCG: NOT ONLY HAVE I LEARNED WHAT YOUR SPECIES HAS ARBITRARILY SELECTED TO BE THE APPROPRIATE COLOR TO ASSOCIATE WITH THE IDEA OF STOPPING
PCG: (BECAUSE THERE IS NO METHOD I WON'T RESORT TO IF IT MEANS GETTING IT THROUGH YOUR THIN THINK PAN SHELL)
PCG: BUT ONCE I CAN ACTUALLY GET ANY OF THE OTHER PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR MUSES HERE TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE BEYOND DISGUST AND FEAR, I WILL GATHER THE MATERIALS FOR MY SACRIFICE IN THE CUSTOMARY EARTH MANNER TO YOUR FALSE ALIEN GOD.
PCG: MAN, I REALLY FUCKING WISH I COULD TALK TO HIM, BECAUSE APPARENTLY HE'S A HELL OF A LOT BETTER AT CONVINCING HIS FOLLOWERS TO RESPECT HIM AT ALL THAN I AM.
PCG: THEY ALL OBTAIN APPROPRIATE SURROUNDINGS OF INORDINATELY BRIGHT PAPERS AND FABRICS FOR THEIR SACRIFICES, WHICH I GUESS IS BECAUSE THE PROTECTIVE BOXES YOU PUT THE THINGS INTO AREN'T ALWAYS STRONG ENOUGH.
PCG: I MEAN IT DOESN'T MAKE A LOT OF SENSE TO ME REALLY BECAUSE THEY SEEM EVEN FLIMSIER THAN THE CARDBOARD.
PCG: MAYBE THEY REINFORCE THEM OR SOMETHING.
PAST carcinoGeneticist [PCG2] 50 MINUTES AGO responded to memo.
PCG2: FUTURE SPOILERS FOR YOU, SHITHEAD.
PCG2: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE COMPLETELY WRONG!!
PCG: WHAT??? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
PCG: WE GOT IT STRAIGHT FROM THE WEIRD HEADDRESS CHICK HERSELF!
PCG: SHE'S POSSESSED BY TWO ANGELS AND EVERYTHING!
PCG2: OKAY, I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD THAT SHE COULD BE WRONG, BUT HEAR ME OUT.
PCG2: I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT THEY'RE NOT SACRIFICES AT ALL?
PAST carcinoGeneticist [PCG3] 40 MINUTES AGO responded to memo.
PCG3: IT'S A REAL FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT THAT I CAN ONLY RESOLVE THIS DEBATE BY MEANS OF A PARADOXICAL SELF-CORRECTION.
PCG3: BUT
PCG3: LOOK
PCG3: HAVE EITHER OF YOU EVEN BOTHERED TO RECALL THE BROAD WITH THE ROBES AND SHIT IS FROM THAT ONE EARTH COUNTRY THAT ISN'T AMERICA AT ALL?
PCG: WHAT IS WITH HUMANS AND JAPAN???
PCG: OKAY, SO EVEN THEN. HE HAS THIS WHOLE CULT DEDICATED TO HIM AND THIS ISN'T THE POINT.
PCG2: RIGHT. YOU'VE GOT TO AVOID DRAGGING YOURSELF DOWN IN THE MIRES OF THESE NARCISSISTIC COMPARISONS AND STICK TO THE FUCKING MESSAGE.
PCG: WHICH IS THAT THIS WHOLE POKING INTO MY REDROM LIFE THAT THIS MUN I HAVE IS DOING IS FUCKED UP AND NEEDS TO STOP.
PCG3: YEAH. IT'S A SERIOUS VIOLATION OF PRIVACY.
PAST carcinoGeneticist [PCG4] 30 MINUTES AGO began responding to memo.
PCG4: I REMEMBER HOW IT FELT, BEING ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES.
PCG4: NODDING ALONG WITH MY OTHER SELVES, THINKING WE WERE ACTUALLY AGREEING FOR ONCE, LIKE WE WERE A HERD OF WOOLBEASTS.
PCG4: HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO INCREDIBLY STUPID AS TO THINK THAT ACTUALLY WOULD HAPPEN.
PCG4: BUT THAT'S KIND OF PAST KARKAT'S THING, SO I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.
PCG2: OKAY, LAY WHATEVER PIECE OF SHIT YOU'VE GOT IN STORE ON ME.
PCG2: US.
PCG3: WHATEVER GET THIS OVER WITH.
PCG4: HAS IT OCCURRED TO ANY OF YOU IDIOTS THE PROBLEMS WITH WHAT YOU'RE PROPOSING?
PCG: WHAT, THAT OUR MUN LEAVE OUR PRIVATE LIFE WELL ENOUGH ALONE? YEAH, ALL THE PROBLEMS HAVE OCCURRED TO ME.
PCG: ALL ZERO OF THEM.
PCG4: YOU KNOW WHAT JUST GIVE ME A SECOND
PCG4 banned PCG from responding to memo.
PCG4 banned PCG2 from responding to memo.
PCG3: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR, ASSHOLE?
PCG3 banned PCG4 from responding to memo.
PCG4 unbanned himself from responding to memo.
PCG4: OKAY, LISTEN.
PCG4: I GET WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM WITH THE WHOLE PRIVATE LIFE THING.
PCG4: I WAS YOU LITERALLY FORTY MINUTES AGO, HOW COULD I NOT KNOW THAT.
PCG4: BUT I'VE REALIZED SOME IMPORTANT THINGS SINCE THEN.
PCG4: EVEN THOUGH THAT HAPPENED ALMOST ENTIRELY FROM PARADOXICALLY BEING TOLD THEM BY MY FUTURE SELF.
PCG3: HEY, DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU SOLVE THE PART WHERE YOU LEARN HOW TO UNBAN YOURSELF? BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I CHECKED THAT COULD ONLY BE ACCOMPLISHED BY ***NOTHING***.
PCG4: SHUT THE FUCK UP, THAT COMES LATER.
PCG4: OF COURSE I KNOW WHY YOU WOULDN'T WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW EVERY LITTLE DETAIL ABOUT US.
PCG4: BUT HAVE YOU EVEN REALIZED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOUR OWN *WRITER* DOESN'T HAVE A CLUE?
PCG3: UH
PCG3: I GUESS I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT
PCG3: IT MEANS SHE GIVES US OUR PRIVACY?
PCG3: THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS FIGURED I WANTED OUT OF IT, I MEAN
PCG3: AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GETTING PLAYED IN ANY REDROM ANYWAY, SO WHY DOES IT MATTER?
PCG4: THAT'S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!
PCG4: IT MEANS YOU *CAN'T* BE PLAYED WITH A BALANCE BETWEEN HATE AND PITY, DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT!
PCG4: JUST FORGET FOR A FLYING FUCKING MOMENT ABOUT HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE YOUR STUPID ALIEN SECRETARY KNOW OR NOT KNOW YOUR MOST PERSONAL FEELINGS
PCG4: HAVE YOU EVER REALIZED WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO NOT KNOW *YOUR OWN* PERSONAL FEELINGS?
PCG3: I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT TOO MUCH
PCG3: IT'S JUST A LITTLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS, IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD, CAN IT?
PCG3: I MEAN, I'VE GOTTEN STABBED BEFORE. A LOT OF FUCKING TIMES ACTUALLY
PCG3: AND THE GILLS. YOU REMEMBER THE GILLS. IN FACT UNLESS SOME REALLY WEIRD MEDICAL SHIT HAPPENED, YOU PROBABLY STILL EVEN HAVE THE GILLS, DON'T YOU!!!
PCG4: YEAH YEAH, FUCKING HIGHBLOODS WITH THEIR CLAWS. TOTALLY NOT FAIR.
PCG4: THE POINT IS THAT NOT KNOWING FEELS TOTALLY FUCKING AWFUL, AND YOU SHOULD REALIZE THAT.
PCG3: WELL I GUESS NOW THAT YOU MENTION THAT IT DOESN'T EXACTLY FEEL AWESOME OR ANYTHING
PCG3: IT'S A KIND OF
PCG3: EMPTY FEELING I GUESS
PCG3: SCREAMING JEGUS, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING ME THINK ABOUT IT?
PCG3: IS THERE SOME PARADOX YOU NEED TO CAUSE WITH THE REQUIRED GOAL OF MAKING ME SOUND LIKE SOME PRETENTIOUS JADEBLOOD IN THEIR DESERT CAVE OR WHATEVER WRITING IN THEIR PRIVATE EMOTION TRANSCRIPTION VOLUME "NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME" OR SOMETHING
PCG3: OR "I NEED TO BE ALONE"
PCG3: YOU'RE ACTUALLY MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I NEED TO BE ALONE WHEN I'M ALREADY TALKING TO MYSELF, I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD, YOU RAGING FUTURE SHITSPAWN.
CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW began responding to memo.
CCG: WAS I SERIOUS WHEN I SAID THIS?
CCG: I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW.
CCG: PCG4, BACK ME UP, YOU'RE CLOSER TO PCG3 IN THE TIMELINE.
CCG: DOES PAST ME SERIOUSLY WANT TO BE ALONE?
CCG: BECAUSE I CAN ARRANGE THAT.
PCG3: WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK ARE YOU DOING
CCG: OKAY, THAT SETTLES THIS, THE TIMESTAMPS SAY YOU NEED TO GO START BEING PCG4 ALREADY ANYWAY.
CCG banned PCG3 from responding to memo.
PCG4: I THINK I SPEAK FOR ALL REMAINING MES WHO AREN'T RAGING SUPERIOR ASSHOLES WHEN I ASK WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS GOING ON.
CCG: IT'S
CCG: JUST FUTURE STUFF, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
CCG: YOU'LL PROBABLY GET IT IF YOU THINK LONG ENOUGH ABOUT IT ANYWAY
CCG: I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT NEWS
PCG4: STRIDER DIED AND MADE US LEADER?
CCG: HEH
CCG: SOMETHING LIKE THAT
CCG: BUT NOT EXACTLY
CCG: THE WRITER MADE A DECISION.
PCG4: OH
PCG4: WELL
PCG4: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN FOR US???
CCG: YOU ALREADY KNOW NOW, DON'T YOU?
CCG: CONSIDER YOUR RESPONSE VERY FUCKING CAREFULLY, EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING IS BECAUSE I WROTE IT.
PCG4: CAN YOU LAY OFF ON THE EXISTENTIAL PARADOX BULLSHIT FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS AND GET TO THE POINT
CCG: WE'RE LITERALLY MADE OF NOTHING BUT EXISTENTIAL PARADOX BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW, NUMBNOOK.
CCG: DO WE EVEN HAVE MORE THAN, WHAT, THREE FUCKING CEPHALIC SURFACE SQUARES?
CCG: BUT FINE. I WILL GRACEFULLY RAISE THE ENGRAVED FLAME CRUCIBLE OF THE FUTURE KARKAT CONSPIRACY AND OFFER IT TO YOU SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO BE PASSED IT.
PCG4: WAIT, SO THERE LITERALLY FUCKING IS A FUTURE KARKAT CONSPIRACY???
PCG4: ;KJFSD;KJDSFWE J:;FSDBXJB
PCG4: I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!!!!!
PCG4: A;JKSDFJKASJKDXCIVUPMN,XC
PCG4: I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW THAT I CAN BARELY EVEN FUCKING TYPE
CCG: DIPSHIT, IT WAS A METAPHOR!!!
CCG: LOOK
CCG: THE TRUTH, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT
CCG: IS JUST
CCG: WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT NONE OF US COULD
PCG4: .....................
PCG4: SO YOU MEAN HAVING AN ACTUAL CONSPIRACY IS BULLSHIT
PCG4: ALL YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT BY RECOGNIZING THIS I'VE BEEN INDUCTED INTO THE ARMY OF MY GUTLESS FUTURE SELVES
CCG: YEAH.
CCG: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM SAYING.
PCG4: WOW.
PCG4: I REALLY DIDN'T THINK ANYONE COULD DRAG ME AROUND BY THE SHAME GLOBES MORE THAN MY SPADESQUEEZE DOES BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG.
PCG4: AM I SERIOUSLY DOOMED NOW TO NEVER GET TO SAY ANYTHING?
CCG: HEY, OUR KISMESIS IS A REALLY FUCKING PRESUMPTUOUS BASTARD, I WOULDN'T UNDERESTIMATE HIM.
CCG: REMEMBER WHAT ALMOST HAPPENED WITH THE FINS?
PCG4: IN WHAT KIND OF SICK AND TERRIBLE CIRCLE OF TROLL HELL WOULD I NOT?
PCG4: OF COURSE I REMEMBER
PCG4: WELL
PCG4: REALLY
PCG4: REALLY FUCKING WELL
CCG: NOT THE GOOD PART, IDIOT, THE PART THAT ALMOST WENT REALLY BADLY
CCG: THAT PART
PCG4: OH
PCG4: I GUESS YOU HAVE A POINT
PCG5 3410 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PCG5: UH, GUYS?
PCG5: I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE READING THIS MEMO BECAUSE
PCG5: BUT WHAT THE EVER PITYING FUCK ARE WE DOING MENTIONING WHO SEEMS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKELY TO BE THE MALE SEADWELLER ON OUR TEAM IN A WAY ANYWHERE REMOTELY CONCEIVABLE AS IN CONTACT WITH ONE OF OUR QUADRANTS?
PCG5: SERIOUSLY, MES? *ERIDAN???*
FUTURE carcinoGeticist [FCG] 1 YEAR FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: OKAY, THERE ARE OFFICIALLY TOO MANY MES IN THIS MEMO.
FCG: PAST ME, WE HAVE FUTURE STUFF TO DISCUSS.
FCG: MORE PAST ME, YOU'VE HAD YOUR REVELATION.
FCG: REALLY FUCKING PAST ME, SHUT THE YOUR WAIL FAUCET RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, I MADE A MEMO ON THIS LIKE 3140 HOURS AGO, YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT SHOW UP IN LIKE A WEEK OR SOMETHING.
FCG: SO JUST KEEP YOUR LOWER BODY GARMENTS ON FOR NOW.
PCG4: YOU KNOW, SEEING THIS AS THE FIRST THING ANYONE SAID TO ME ABOUT THAT SHIP EXPLAINS SO MUCH ABOUT HOW IT STARTED
PCG5: WAIT, WHAT?????
FCG banned PCG5 from responding to memo.
FCG: DUDE THAT WAS A REALLY BULGEHEADED MOVE. THAT'S A REALLY SERIOUS LEVEL OF MESSING WITH YOURSELF THERE
FCG: AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT OUT OF SHAME REMEMBERING THAT I DID IT FIRST.
PCG4: YEAH, I KNOW IT WAS FOUL. IT WENT SO FAR BELOW THE WAIST RESTRAINT BAND IT'S CLOSER TO DEALING WITH THE FOOT SLEEVES.
PCG4: HOW ABOUT I MAKE UP FOR IT BY SAVING YOU THE TROUBLE OF BANNING ME FOR IT?
PCG4 banned himself from responding to memo.
FCG: UH, THANKS I GUESS.
FCG: DID I REALLY DO SOMETHING THAT CLOSE TO PASSING FOR ANYWHERE NEAR POLITE? MAN, IT'S WEIRD WRITING THESE MEMOS WITHOUT BEING ON ONE SIDE FRESH IN MY PAN.
CCG: HEY, I ACTUALLY WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THAT, IF WE'RE ABLE TO HAVE SERIOUS FUTURE STUFF DISCUSSIONS NOW.
CCG: IS YOUR POINT IN THE TIMELINE REALLY WHAT YOUR TIMESTAMP SAYS IT IS?
FCG: YEAH, WHY WOULDN'T IT BE.
FCG: DO YOU REALLY THINK OUR MUN WOULD PUT INACCURATE TIMESTAMPS ONTO OUR MEMOS JUST TO FUCK WITH US???
CCG: .........................
FCG: OKAY DON'T ANSWER THAT.
FCG: ANYWAY YEAH THAT TIMESTAMP IS RIGHT. THERE WAS AN UPDATE.
CCG: OH, REALLY?
CCG: WE ACTUALLY SURVIVE ON THAT FLYING DEATHROCK FOR A WHOLE "YEAR"?
CCG: DO WE GET TROLLIAN WORKING AGAIN?
CCG: DO WE EVER GET TO FOLLOW UP ON
CCG: YOU KNOW
CCG: ALL THOSE LOGS THAT THE SCRATCH CUT SHORT
CCG: BECAUSE I MEAN TEN HOURS AND TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES REALLY ISN'T LONG ENOUGH TO TELL THEM EVERYTHING THEY NEEDED TO KNOW
CCG: AND WEREN'T THERE MORE DREAMBUBBLES AND SHIT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE WITH THEM?
CCG: HAS ANY OF THAT HAPPENED YET?
CCG: WHO AM I KIDDING, OF COURSE IT HAS, ISN'T THAT YOUR NEWS?
CCG: WHAT OTHER KIND OF NEWS COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE?
CCG: HELLO?????
FCG: ...............
FCG: I'M ACTUALLY BLAMING RECENT PAST ME EVEN MORE THAN YOU-PAST-ME FOR THINKING ANY PAST ME COULD POSSIBLY BE CIVIL AND REASONABLE, AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING.
FCG banned CCG from responding to memo.
FCG: AND NOW I'M BLAMING THE ME I WAS LITERALLY JUST A SECOND AGO EVEN MORE, WHAT THE FLYING FUCK KARKAT!!!
FCG: WHY DID I HAVE TO BAN HIM???
FCG: I GUESS I JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.
FCG: THERE SHOULD NEVER BE MORE THAN TWO KARKATS IN A MEMO AT ANY GIVEN TIME, WE JUST START CHOKING ON OUR OWN FECES AT THAT POINT.
FCG: SO, MUN.
FCG: YEAH, YOU. ALIEN GIRL TYPING THIS AT 12:40 IN YOUR EARTH MORNING.
FCG: IT'S JUST US NOW.
FCG: JUST US SO I CAN GO BACK TO THIS I GUESS.
FCG: I'M KIND OF MAD THAT DOUCHEBAG CALLING HIMSELF CURRENT KARKAT STOLE THE IDEA, ACTUALLY, HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT.
FCG: BUT THAT'S OFF TOPIC.
FCG: THIS IS ABOUT THE UPDATE.
FCG: OF ALL THE THINGS THAT COULD SPUR YOU TO ACTUALLY REGISTER MY ACCOUNT HERE, IT HAD TO BE THIS? REALLY?
FCG: HADN'T THAT WHOLE TRAIN ALREADY KIND OF LEFT THE STATION, LIKE, A DOZEN UPDATES AGO?
FCG: DOES IT REALLY HAVE TO BE RIGHT NOW THAT YOU MAKE ME EXPRESS MYSELF ON IT? AS FAR AS I'VE BEEN ABLE TO TELL YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CONTACTS WITH SKAIA'S FOIL OR A NOBLE CIRCLE TELLING YOU IT HAS TO HAPPEN RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
FCG: LOOK
FCG: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
FCG: I MEAN, I GUESS I HAVE SOME SICK SUBCONSCIOUS DESIRE TO OR ELSE I WOULDN'T HAVE STARTED THIS MEMO IN THE FIRST PLACE
FCG: BUT
FCG: WHAT THE HELL AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO SAY?
FCG: IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING, IS IT?
FCG: MISSED MY FUCKING CHANCE FOR THAT APPARENTLY.
FCG: CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT THAT NOW
FCG: SO
FCG: JUST
FCG: SHUT UP ABOUT IT, OK?
FCG: I JUST
FCG: NEED SOME TIME TO RECOVER
FCG: TECHNICALLY I'VE HAD THAT IN CANON NOW, I GUESS, A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR
FCG: AND I'M DOING A PRETTY GOOD JOB OF IT
FCG: SO YEAH, THAT SETTLES THAT.
FCG: AND I GUESS THIS IS ALSO THE PART WHERE I THANK YOU FOR PREDICTING HOW MUCH OF AN IMMATURE DESPERATE DOUCHEBAG "FOURTEEN YEAR OLD" KARKAT IS.
FCG: BECAUSE THAT STATE IS JUST SO SUPERIOR TO COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW YOU OVEREXTRAPOLATE THOSE TRAITS FROM MY SIX SWEEPS OLD SELF.
FCG: AT LEAST ONE OF US GETS TO FEEL VALIDATED BY THAT.
FCG: WOO FUCKING HOO.
FCG: THERE YOU HAVE IT. HUMAN CON-FUCKING-GRATULATIONS AND GOOD NIGHT.
FCG banned himself from responding to memo.

Comments

[almostexclusivelyornery]

I'M. FLATTERED, I GUESS?
BUT COME ON HOW IS EVEN THE TLDR TLDR.
I THINK THAT THIS IS OFFICIALLY NOT ME, IT'S YOU.
BESIDES, THAT WAS AN INTENDED ATTEMPT AT MAKING A PUBLIC ARRANGEMENT, NOT SOME STUPIDASS EXCAVATION OF MY INNERMOST FEELINGS.
DO HUMANS EVEN HAVE AS MANY LAYERS FOR PEELING OPEN AND EMOTIONAL EXTRACTION AS TROLLS?

[tipsygnostalgia]

it just is ok
not ur fault i guess just after mr puzzlemurder up there i tend 2 jsust zone out when reading angry grey caps u know

hye we have all sorts of feelingslayers ofr peeling
were like oinions
layers right down 2 the center
*onions

[almostexclusivelyornery]

I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD, I GUESS I DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST YOU THAT MUCH.
BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE FUCK THAT GUY'S PROBLEM IS?
HE'S LIKE IF EVERYTHING I HATE THE MOST ABOUT MYSELF AND EVERYTHING THAT TERRIFIES ME IN THE TROLLS I PITY WERE THE GENETIC DONORS TO SOME HORRIBLE DEFORMED GRUB.

[tipsygnostalgia]

that pretty much is what he is u know
and its weird bc his sister is the absolute opporsite
*opposite
yesyes i know not actual sis but they act like it
anyways point is shes the sweetest nicest one ever so idk how he eneded up such a giant doucebag??

[almostexclusivelyornery]

WAIT
WHAT?
CAN YOU
CAN YOU PLEASE REPEAT THAT IN A FASHION THAT DOESN'T IMPLY THERE ARE TWO BEINGS OUT THERE THAT THROUGH SOME BIZARRE PARADOXICAL MEANS ARE MY
GENETIC DESCENDANTS
PLEASE. WITH SUCROSE ON TOP. THIS IS THE BEST OF YOUR EARTH HUMAN ETIQUETTE RIGHT HERE I'M SAYING PLEASE.

[tipsygnostalgia]

all im saying is theres only 2 aliens i know and both sorta remind me of u
well 1 more than the other

she is sUUUUper sweet and all ^U^ lets hug and be happy and talk about theories bUt no spoipers :U
i love Us sooo mUch U__U

BEST FRUEND UP THERE IS LIKE
OOPS
BEST FRIEND uP THERE IS LIKE BLAH BLAH I HATE EVERYTHGIN
SO ANGRY LOOK AT ME
tumut
tUMUt
types almost
**TYPES ALMOST LIKE YOu BuT WITH LITTLE uS

[almostexclusivelyornery]

......
WHY DO I HAVE THIS HORRIBLE FEELING THAT THE GIRL ONE IS INTO SHIPPING
AND THE GUY ONE HAS SOME REALLY BIZARRE SPEAKING PATTERNS AND A PENCHANT FOR MURDER

[tipsygnostalgia]

biiiiiiingo!

[almostexclusivelyornery]

A;JSDKSKDJAF;SDKAJ;FQIUPWER
SZMLNXCVM,.AJSDFKBLHJFGERI;IRAWEA;IURIE;FI
ASJKD;FLSKJ;LXCVKIRUEISQWPEIUR097354FDKL
OH GOOD FUCKING GOD.
OF ALL THE FUCKING WAYS THE ALTERNIAN RACE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY NOT DIED OUT ENTIRELY.
IT HAD TO HAPPEN LIKE THIS
WITH
THEM

[tipsygnostalgia]

u mad?

in all srsness though im not quiet following u
*quite
isnt it a good thing that u didnt all die out??
i still dont know much abt them anyway though + it doesnt help that none of ur friends do either nobody even knows who they are

[almostexclusivelyornery]

WELL
I GUESS IT IS
JUST
IT'S REALLY FUCKING WEIRD HAVING A HUNCH WHO THE OTHER GENETIC DONORS TO THOSE TROLLS PROBABLY ARE.
AND IF I COULD HAVE CHOSEN IT PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE THOSE TROLLS.
BUT YOU'RE RIGHT

IF OUR SPECIES REALLY HAS SURVIVED I GUESS I AM OBLIGATED TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THEM. AS A LEADER AND ALL THAT.
AND
I GUESS AS
A
.......
WHAT'S THAT HUMAN WORD OF YOURS FOR IT?
LIKE A MOTHER, BUT MALE?

[tipsygnostalgia]

whoa re they
anyone i know?
bc i actually know a lot of u guys now some are pretty nice

oh!
father
so ur like the psuedo-leader fatter figure huhthats sweet
*oops father

[almostexclusivelyornery]

OK
WELL
I'M ACTUALLY THINKING THAT GUY
YOU CALLED HIM UMBRAGE?
HE HAS A WEIRD AMOUNT IN COMMON WITH GAMZEE.
AND WE END UP PALE SO THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE.
AND THEN THAT SISTER OF HIS I WOULD SUSPECT NEPETA.
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE SHE
MAY HAVE ALSO HAD FEELINGS FOR ME.
THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH REPRODUCTION FOR US.
NOT THAT I'M ABOUT TO GET INTO IT RIGHT NOW.

THAT'S NOT RIGHT THOUGH.
I'M THE LEADER OF THE TROLLS WHO WERE HERE FIRST, NOT SOME KIND OF FUCKED UP LUSUS SUBSTITUTE.
BUT I WOULD BE THE ACTUAL
FATHER
OF THESE TROLLS
RIGHT?

[tipsygnostalgia]

thats what it sounds like
i know what gamzees like but
i didnt actually know u were the person nep was crushing on
but yes it makes sense

i dont know if u really are though or not

[almostexclusivelyornery]

YEAH, I GUESS WE DON'T KNOW 100% FOR SURE.
GENETIC SLURRIES AND CASUAL SPOILERS AND ALL THAT BULLSHIT.
FOR ALL I KNOW I COULDN'T EVEN BE RELATED TO THEM AT ALL?
BUT
WHATEVER
I HAVEN'T EVEN ACTUALLY MET THEM IN CANON ANYWAY.
HAVE YOU?

[tipsygnostalgia]

not in person
ive only ever spoke to them online
for quite sometime now

[almostexclusivelyornery]

I SEE.
ARE YOU MAKING ANY PLANS TO MEET UP OR NOT?

[tipsygnostalgia]

there is the possibility that we may once we play the game
because the two of them were preparing 2play it too

[almostexclusivelyornery]

SO THEY HAVEN'T PLAYED IT YET?
HUH.
HAVE THEY INDICATED AT ALL WHERE THEY EVEN ARE?

[tipsygnostalgia]

nt yet but they seem to know allll about it
i wish i could tell u more but most the things we ask umbra wont give us the answeswers bc of "spoilers"
*answers

and uhh
umbrage goes on about floating on a rock fulla dead corpses but who knows what that guy means by that 4 all i know he jsust went on an all out murderspree

[almostexclusivelyornery]

DOES HE.
THAT'S
THAT'S ACTUALLY REALLY WORRYING
ARE THEY ACTUALLY THE ONLY TWO TROLLS YOU KNOW...?

OH, AND UMBRA IS THE SISTER, RIGHT?

[tipsygnostalgia]

the only 2 yeah
wait
WAIT
actually no those arent th onyl 2
*the only
because when i was stuck between my fenestrated planes i ran into this bitch of a troll
punky looking fish pciscies alien that nobody seems 2 know

[almostexclusivelyornery]

REALLY?
THAT SOUNDS
ACTUALLY ALL OF THIS SOUNDS REALLY FUCKED UP.
YOU'RE SURE THEY'RE A PROPER PISCES?
THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
I'D TRY TO EXPLAIN WHY BUT I THINK YOU HAVE SOME IDEA ALREADY.

[tipsygnostalgia]

so obviously has a thing 4 me apaprently chasing after my sleepwalking body all the time!!
*apparently
but yeah its all fucked up
i try not to dwell o nit
**on it

[almostexclusivelyornery]

IT REALLY SUCKS NOOK BEING FROM AN ONGOING CANON, DOESN'T IT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I'D PUT UP WITH IT IF IT WERE STILL ACT 2 FOR MY SESSION.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?