canon is undertale, considering ryslig next round (potential spoilers in comments)

[skelepun]

A place where humans turn into monsters, huh? Sounds like a bit of a downgrade if you ask me. For the humans, not for me, but that goes without saying dontcha think?

But hey, it's not like I'll fight you about it. You do what you gotta do to keep things spicy. That's the essence of your humanity, right? Beating back the boredom? Heh...

I gotta wonder, though. Do their souls stay human? 'Cuz if that's the case, sorry bro, you ain't no monster.

Or maybe I should be saying congratulations? Heh.

But hey, enough of that. Stop me if you've heard this one before... What kind of pasta do ghosts eat?

Comments

sorry for any tripups, voicetesting like a beast in here

[papyrusiscool95]

Sans!!

This is no time for jokes!

A world of humans and monsters, living together, getting along?? Not only that, but getting so close they BECOME each other?!?? This is unprecedented! Astounding! Marvelous!!

How can you stand around telling jokes at a time like this, lazybones??

right back at you bro

[skelepun]

'Sup bro. Exactly none of those words is pasta a ghost would eat.

Thought this was your wheelhouse.

[papyrusiscool95]

It's true, my finely-honed skills as a chef of the most delicious culinary masterpieces can only remain unknown for a little longer before I get my due, but more important matters are afoot here!

For instance!

[Cue dramatic pose, complete with fluttering cape and a finger pointing in the direction Papyrus is pretty sure Ryslig lies in.]

This aforementioned matter of a land where monsters and humans come together as one! I, the great Papyrus, will discover it! I must discover it! I'll bring word back to the monsters back Home and be hailed as a hero!

[Which would be awesome, since that whole Royal Guard gig kinda fell through.]

[skelepun]

Nah, it's spookghetti.

[Cue the same face Sans always makes, but this time with a tinge of appreciation for just how cool Papyrus is. I mean, really. Who else do you know who can charm the wind into cooperating at will?

That said, Sans will turn as well. Why not.]

Like I was sayin' bro, I'm not so sure they are monsters. Not that I've gotten an up close and personal look at any of their souls, but if I were a bettin' bone I'd guess they were still human where it counts.

[papyrusiscool95]

[Papyrus groans, but he can't help it. He's grinning, and not just because he's literally a skeleton. Darn it, Sans, your jokes are so bad but they get him every time.]

Wait! Sans!!! What if... it works both ways? What if, in joining them, we gain the legendary formidability of humans??!?

[In his mind, there are no downsides to that concept. Being strong. Having that much DETERMINATION.]

[immobileflame]

Trick question, yes?

Ghosts don't eat pasta!

[skelepun]

Bzzt! Wrong. [Wink.] It's boo-guini.

I don't know what ghosts you've been hanging with but the ones around Waterfall are big eaters.

[immobileflame]

But dead folks don't eat. Why in the Crystal's name would they? Isn't not needing sustenance one of the big perks of being dead?

[Pause]

And that joke was dreadful...

[your_best_friend]

[Flowey's definitely going to watch his step here. He doesn't want a reset right now.]

Golly, what's wrong with being a monster? Those humans would be able to gain magic!

[skelepun]

[Luckily for both of them, Sans's wince is imperceptible.]

Long as we keep our souls, the body itself ain't much more than a costume. [Sans tugged on the lowest hanging hem of Papyrus's "battle body" as if to highlight the similarity.]

Y'know, if I had to guess.

[skelepun]

[... An echo flower? Doesn't seem like it. There's something familiar about this that Sans can't place, but that sensation is old news to him by now. His demeanor remains unchanged, though the light in his eyes flickers out for half a second.]

Humans have a whole lot more than magic going for them. [A beat.] Somethin' tells me you know a thing or two about that, though.

[your_best_friend]

[He saw that eye flicker. It makes Flowey a little nervous. If he could, he'd be creating a savestate right now. Before he dies, you know.]

I haven't met very many humans...! What could I possibly know about them? Besides what everyone else does, of course.

[skelepun]

I got a million of 'em.

And hey, who knows. Something to do? Isn't that why anyone does anything? I can tell you first hand they love a good hot dog.

You tellin' me you don't like eating?

[skelepun]

Guess that makes sense. [And it does, or it would if Sans wasn't feeling the presence of an anomaly. Sans doesn't bother to press it. Not that he bothers to press much of anything anymore.] Y'know, I don't think I've ever met an echo flower that makes its own echos.

hope this is okay

[papyrusiscool95]

[omg hello tiny flower do you remember your best skeleton buddy who always makes time for your exciting suggestions and predictions? because he's comin' at ya live right now.]

Hey! You always know just when and where to pop up, don't you?

[your_best_friend]

So skeletons and buckets of water and spiders can be monsters and flowers can't? Isn't that a little judgmental of you? For shame!

[Well... He'd BETTER convince Sans that flowers can be monsters. Otherwise, he might be in for a bad time.]

It totally is.

[your_best_friend]

[Oh... Ooooh, no... Papyrus is going to ruin this and he's going to have to reset.]

H- howdy there...! Yep! That's me!

...

Hey, I think I heard Undyne saying she wants to talk to you in private! Better go to Waterfall!

[immobileflame]

I...enjoy a good meal, aye, but I'm alive so I have to eat.

[Then, said with the confidence of a man who believes he's an authority on the matter:]

Dead people do not eat. They rot.

Sometimes they get up and walk around.

And sometimes they wear dapper suits and attack things with spears...

And, and sometimes they sit by campfires and ask me to run around the country chasing a tiny ambulatory cactus but they never eat. That's just nonsense...

[papyrusiscool95]

Tut tut, haven't you ever heard the phrase "clothes make the monster"? There's nothing wrong with a devilishly handsome exterior! Or an impossibly cool one. OBSERVE!!!

[And in a flash -- well, okay, more like a rapid dash out of Sans' line of sight followed by some effort-filled grunting -- Papyrus appears wearing a totes kickin' rad outfit with fingerless gloves and a backwards baseball cap and everything.

Nobody is more awesome than Papyrus.]

[skelepun]

[They'll cross that bad time bridge when they come to it. If they come to it. Sans cocks his head to the side, scrutinizing the flower a little closer.]

Heh, didn't mean to cast any judgement. [His eyes flickered for a moment.] Thought I knew just about everyone in the underground.

[skelepun]

[Don't mind him, he'll just be keeping an eye on this.]

[your_best_friend]

[...No bad time, please.]

Well... I'm new. I'm a new monster! That's all.

I'm Flowey. Flowey the flower! ...Flower monster. Monster flower.

Whichever one you want to say.

[papyrusiscool95]

Undyne?

...Private??

Oh my god!!!

Do you know what this means, Flowey?

It's my chance! My time to shine! Everything I told you about, finally coming to fruition! The next time you see me, I, the great Papyrus, will no doubt be fitted in Royal Guard finery!

Nyeh heh heh!

[And there he goes, speeding off while throwing hearty promises to tell Flowey all about it later.]

[skelepun]

[That statement will get no argument from Sans, who despite his unchanging expressions seems to be glowing with pride by proximity.]

Slick threads, bro. Maybe you have what it takes to figure that place out after all. [Better Papyrus than him, anyway. Even thinking about the implications made him miss his bed.] I think I might miss Snowdin, myself.

[your_best_friend]

[Flowey keeps up the smile as Papyrus leaves. Then he sighs in relief once he's gone, turning back to Sans.]

I've no idea what's gotten into him! He must have mistaken me for someone else. Or something else. Like those echo flowers!