Whatever, Dib, you think it's flattering.

[fearofpiggies]

 Don't act like you didn't fully think through the ramifications of having an insectoid hell-creature radio host get a crush on me.

Why? Why do you love to torture me? Why do you think this is going to be good for "character growth"? I mean. Think about it. I've dealt with shit like this so much that it almost seems dumb of you to make me do it more!

No, you know what? I'm not going to get fazed by this, just to spite you! How about that. Try gaining your sadistic glee out of me NOW!
HA!

Comments

[free_r_kevin]

Daww, you like me! *Yes, that is totally all he got out of this. Somehow.*

[fearofpiggies]

I... don't dislike you? I'm not going to go so far as to say I like you, because that would imply that there's something that is remarkably likable. I'm... pretty sure that if we spoke a little more and maybe got past the initial weirdness of you living in a meat shack in the middle of town, I could think of you in a more fair light but at this point it's just business.

[free_r_kevin]

Oh Dib, you're so sweet!

I am very likable! All the people back home said so! Liking me was downright mandatory. But I'm pretty sure they'd have liked me anyway! Anna at the Yogurtland always gives me yogurt at 75% off, because I was--er I am! I am their Voice. *For a split second he looks grief-stricken, without ever losing his smile.*

[fearofpiggies]

[For a moment, Dib almost feels a pang of remorse for the guy. Being cut off from the only reality and town he knows has to be kind of alienating.]

Hey, it's okay, you're the voice of Portsmouth now, right? It's going to be okay. You'll get back that notoriety in no time.

[free_r_kevin]

Don't worry, Dib! I'm fine. *Oh Dib, the grief isn't about a little thing like that! He's quite capable of connecting with the Bluffs if he has to. No, his grief is about everything his company and his Smiling God has done to the town he loves.*

[fearofpiggies]

Fine isn't exactly the word I'd use for you.

[There are a litany of adjectives Dib has for Kevin. Fine isn't one of them.]

[free_r_kevin]

I'm always fine. Everything is fine. We must be fine. *He's so very not fine. In fact, tears are starting to drip from his eyes. Blood-tinged tears.* If we are not fine we cannot work. If we cannot work we are unproductive. If we are unproductive we are punished.

[fearofpiggies]

Not here, we're not.

[Stop evoking empathy, Kevin, it makes Dib nervous! He frowns and looks at the other with a shake of his head.]

You probably had a lot of brainwashing. I'm sure in time, you'll maybe get back to yourself. Maybe.

[free_r_kevin]

*He winces at that.* I like being this way! No bad thoughts, no bad memories. No more sorrow.

They took everything from me but them. Let me cling to them.

[fearofpiggies]

Jeez. Kevin...
[Okay, so the bug guy was tragic. Not surprising, really, given the way most monsters tended to be. But he couldn't be partial. No. He was simply an impartial observer. Im. Par. Tial. Ob. Ser. Ver.


fuckit. He pats the guy's shoulder.]

You'll be okay. Eventually.

[free_r_kevin]

*He beams and hugs you. Really, really hard. But it only hurts when you breathe!* You're such a great friend!

[fearofpiggies]

[Suddenly being embraced by a three-eyed man-spider really isn't as horrific as it seems. Just a little uncomfortable when he tries to do the vital breathing thing. He... Hugs... Back? Patting Kevin's back lightly before slipping free.]

I just understand what being brainwashed is like, and overmedicating.

[free_r_kevin]

I bet you've been lonely a lot, too! I've gone days at a time with no one to talk to but Station Management, and they aren't exactly big talkers.

Well, Station Management and Intern Vanessa here. *He points to something that might be a very faint ghost, a trick of the light or possibly nothing at all.* She's always with me. And her double too, these days!

Sometimes I wonder who she was to me before Strex. I care about her so much!

[fearofpiggies]

Mmhmm. Loneliness and isolation are pretty part and parcel of being the only sane, rational, and intelligent person in basically the entire world. Frequent trips to psychiatric wards, too.

But I wouldn't be able to tell you who she was to you, at least not without establishing contact with her.

[free_r_kevin]

But the mad often think them sane as well.

. . . but she's right there, friend!

[fearofpiggies]

[Dib looks at where Kevin had motioned and quickly scans through all available bands on his glasses, both visual and audio, and shrugs]

Not according to my highly sensitive equipment that has been designed to specifically pick up anomalous activity and intelligent thought. It's picking you up just fine.

[free_r_kevin]

*Just you wait, Dib. Just you wait.*

Huh?

Oh. I guess she went back to the station.

[fearofpiggies]

Well, I can hope for your sake, she was somebody nice. People who have spirits who follow them have either done something very good? Or very bad.

I'll be happy to speak to you later about the whole. Um. Deal. If you'd like! I'm sure you probably figured this out, but I'm kind of an expert on that sorta thing.

[And who better to give his undivided attention but the local radio host? He'd love to have an hour on the radio to explain his findings, and Kevin's already offered an interview.]

[free_r_kevin]

. . . there are things I can tell you here that I can't there. Munny is helping me here.

[fearofpiggies]

That's kind of your mun.

Sorry you can't say them there. I'd be happy to help if I could break through the drug fog.

[free_r_kevin]

I don't think I could stand it on my own. Certainly not easily. But I don't mind skipping long enough to talk to you there, if you give the pills back afterwards.

[apocalypticduality]

At least you havea sliightly less iinsectoiid boyfriiend_{matespriit/partner/whatever?} to take the edge off after dealiing wiith radiio hosts?

[fearofpiggies]

That's true. I can come to you and just sort of. Moderately freak out that I got bled on by a spider-guy.

I'm still not sure what to classify us. Is that weird? Like. We've been doing whatever this is for over a year now, and I still falter when people ask me what you are to me. I usually default to, "He's my... ??? ?????" and just slide into another topic of conversation.

[apocalypticduality]

Sounds about riight. II tend to fliip between responses, or else just askiing what makes them thiink iit's theiir busiiness.

He diidn't bleed on any open sores or iin your eyes or mouth diid he? Can we afford to get you tested?

[fearofpiggies]

Nope, just on my coat. But Eddie assured me earlier that we're well enough off where we can rent a place in the area for at least nine months without worrying. Longer if we want to settle for a place that sucks.

[apocalypticduality]

What about that not-Dualscar's offer? II also saw a place for rent next door to that one house in the suburb that was freakiing out the 'divine shit' end of the spectrum iif you want to riisk that.

[fearofpiggies]

We could look into both options. Honestly, I think Not Dualscar is probably our best course of action. Even if we get wrangled into a deal with him, I really doubt it'd be the worst thing either of us has ever done.

[apocalypticduality]

We'll look iinto the house fiirst and iif iit doesn't work, hiit up ND. Good to have a plan to fall back on, even iif iit's not a great one.