dear_mun | applying at heroesparadise

Hurting people is fun.

No, it isn't.

It's horrible.

I disagree.

I... [ She pauses , gulping down the lump in her throat . ]

I hate it.

Too bad.

How could you be okay with hurting somebody...?

I don't understand.

I get to take my anger out in a fun way.

It's not that hard to understand.

It's not fun... It's not fun at all.

[ She can't remember hurting everybody . She only remembers waking up to red , and seeing all those bodies . Familiar faces . People she killed with her own two hands . ]

That's just a matter of opinion.

[ What's an opinion ? Lily doesn't know what that is . ]

I don't understand how hurting somebody could be fun.

Oh really? It's not like you haven't mentioned it multiple times now or anything.

[ What else can she say ? ]

It's true. Hurting people... it makes you a monster.

[ And that's what Lily was. A monster. ]

Maybe some of us like being 'monsters'.

Why?

[ Her voice shakes , and she swears she can feel tears gathering at the corners of her eyes . ]

Why, why?

Eh, probably because we're mentally unstable.

Mentally... unstable?

[ Gosh darn it all she wants is to be normal !! ]

Means that something is fucked up in our heads. At least that's what the doctor told me.

Looks like someone hasn't found their niche yet!

You know a dog trying to fill the role of a horse isn't going to have any fun at all.

Just keep working towards your preferences.

[ Her eyes widen at the word dog , immediately pulling her hands towards her chest in an attempt to give herself some comfort . She didn't understand the words the other spoke in the slightest . ]

A dog...trying to fill the role of a horse?

[Oh, has he hit a nerve? Kijima just loves hitting nerves.]

Of course, of course! A pet against a beast of burden, there's no way one could fill in for the role of the other.

[He flicks his paper fan in her direction once, grinning.]

But in the end they're both wild animals at heart, easily capable of doing a lot of damage if they're so inclined.

I think you could too, if you found what you really like.

How you would like hurting someone.

Why...you would like hurting someone. Sometimes the simplest of reasons present themselves, and we're all happier for it!

[ He most definitely has hit a nerve . It's visible on Lily's face as she fumbles with her fingers, running her thumb over a clenched fist as she barely bothers to look up . ]

I would never like hurting somebody. Ever.

[ Not after she's hurt so many people . Not after she's experienced that horrible fatigue where she fades into the color black and wakes up to red, red, red. ]

Are you sure?

Maybe you just haven't tried everything yet.

[ She would never dream of trying everything . ]

I don't want to.

Oh but, how can you be so sure?

You haven't tried, so you can't!

I think someone's being a little unfair to themselves.

[ If Lily was to go out and kill , she wouldn't be herself . She wouldn't be in control , no , she'd be locked away in her own mind , scared and shaking as the dog took control . ]

[ And the dog wouldn't have an inch of hesitation in ripping everything apart with it's claws . ]

I never want to try. I never... I never want to hurt anybody again.

Boring. Haha! If you ask me, I think you're just hesitant.

After all you know what they say; the shadiest of people are always just waiting for their day in the sun.

[Intentional; oh he loves puns, he really does.]

Care to try taking the spotlight?

[ She still understand most of the things he's saying , eyes falling against the ground as she kept quiet for a moment . Just hesitant ? . . . That wasn't it . She was a good girl . It was the dog, that beast that was the bad one . ]

No... No! I can't hurt anybody. I don't want to hurt anybody. Never.

[ As she repeats herself . ]

Hmm!

Okay then...so why not?

Because I've hurt too many people already.

Well there you go, see? You're already halfway there!

You've cracked a few eggs, it's just time to make an omelette and you'll be raring to go in no time.

[ Okay what the Hell is an egg ? No , screw eggs , what is an omelette ? What is this what is this ! ]

I don't understand...

[He's never come across people who didn't understand his weird little comparisons...

It dampens his mood, causing him to frown.]

You're already a killer.

Just a little more and you won't even feel a single hint of remorse doing it.

I didn't want to. I didn't mean to kill them.

[ It was the dog. ]

[Back to grinning.]

I'm sure that was a comfort to them as they walked the path to the afterlife!

[ She cringes , eyes filled with tears now . ]

I'm... a monster.

That's the spirit!

You should embrace that instead of trying to push it away. You'll be a lot happier if you just accept yourself for the cold-hearted murderer I'm sure you really are, deep down inside!

[And he's going to say this in a really cheerful and approving tone.]

applying at heroesparadise

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oh my god no dont

I could cool it a little if there's a problem; he's just a tad sociopathic so...

no oh my gosh it's okay!! its just FEELINGS

Heh, I understand.

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