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brushes off years of dust
sup
been a while
we doing this again?
couldnt stay away huh yeah i saw this coming
s'alright with me its not like this was a surprise or anything
like
a lots changed but its cool if you want to keep doing your thing and playing me from the same timepoint for now i guess
shits not set in stone yet youve got time to figure this out
question is
are you ready to step your game up??
because lets be real your last attempt was hella sad
you crashed and burned harder than a corpulent baby seal in a tree-climbing contest
waddling and floundering around like all it takes to reach that first branch is some fucking expert flipperwork and then hes got the whole competition in the bag
poor lil fella doesnt have a clue
and i mean im a real magnanimous guy
but ive got a reputation to maintain you dig??
think of the fans
you just gonna let them all down like that again
thatd be pretty fucking heartless of you
might wanna rethink this one bro
leave it in the hands of a pro
is a thousand years late to reply
sorry dave!
im sure your mun will keep your reputation intact just fine though
only the coolest of muns for the coolest of kids
its nice to see a version of you around
us time players have to stick together after all
late?? pshh, you're right on time
same dave different account
which kind of goes to prove what i was saying
which is
yeah nah shes hella uncool
like im talking nitram levels of uncool here
late last night she suddenly rose up outta bed
eyes wide like a kid on christmas who just found out that his presents werent coming from a magical fat man with the prescient ability to know what the best present for everyone is at any given moment and yep sorry all youre getting this year is ugly sweaters
because hey
you know what my username is lacking in??
really lame puns that dont even work because who the fuck pronounces ironically that way i mean
see the kind of shit im dealing with on a daily basis here??
anyway hi
i'm really glad i made it then B)
it just isnt
very often
thanks to his whole self esteem issues
but were trying to work on those slowly
also why would an big human give anyone presents?
is he your first guardian
i thought the it was the barkbeast jade has im confused
the pun is nice though!
theres always room in paradox space for more puns
so im sorry but youll have no relief from my corner
youve maid your recoopracoon now you have to lie in it
but hi all the same
no subject
a human holiday thing
basically hes some concept that was created to fool chumps into following this obtuse set of rules
its like bingo for children fill up enough good kid squares and win yourself a stocking stuffed with cool shit
man wait
do you even have bingo
see this is the thing about talking to trolls i always forget that my human analogies are pointless
but yeah hes not actually real
man i guess ill take your word for it
not much else i can do im stuck with this name anyway
might as well live with it
no subject
why bother going through the whole thing if hes fake in the end?
which is probably another example of cultural differences oh well
you could probably complain about it
but its better to go with the flow on these things!
its easier to save your energy that way for the things that really count
like not dying! :D
no subject
but its needlessly complicated shit that gets you presents
so whos going to complain
a holidays gotta have a figurehead to get people riled up anyway
and who makes for a better figurehead than an imaginary fat man with imaginary magical powers
literally no one thats who
wait
is that still a thing??
can i even die in this place
no subject
mostly because they dont look like they have an alternate motives for you
which just complicates things further so whos the real winner here?
oh dave
you can always die in places!
dying is going to be a thing no matter where we go so its best to hope for the best and deal with the corpse party as it happens
but hopefully we dont
ive gotten fond of not dying
no subject
what kind of alternate motives are we talking here
like do you mean presents that serve as tools for cagey solicitors to mack on you with or
honest to god unironically terrible presents that pretty much exist to piss the recipient off
if y to either of the above then nah thats a thing with humans too
wow ok i was about to say that if death wasnt a thing here thatd be the only saving grace of this place
but apparently its gotta suck fullstop huh
no subject
like to repay someone for accidentally murdering them in a fit of rage but its designed to make you fall flushed for someone else
or just to shut you up in general
or blackmail
blackmail is a thing
most trolls dont give gifts unless theres a distinct purpose for it or they want something in return
except for twelfth perigrees eve but we dont talk about twelfth perigrees eve
its not all bad!
you can meet a lot of new and exciting people here
and ive found death isnt always permanent
so even that isnt as bad as it count be! :D
no subject
basically
if a troll gives you a present its to be a dick nine times out of ten
getting a present = its time to panic because shits about to go down
am i getting this right
alright i can deal with that i guess
im pretty much the master of nonpermadeaths at this point
no subject
but theres usually a catch and its good to be aware of that!
other then that youve pretty much got it!
thats the spirit
the deaths dont get easier but they do serve as an informative experience!