All that grew inside me was a darkness I acquired...

[whitescalesbigmouth]

...Do you have to think about that kind of stuff?!

I'm over that whole phase okay!? I've put her behind me and I am definitely over everything that happened when I decided to join up with those psychos.

Just let me deal with it okay?! I did a bunch of stupid unforgivable stuff when I was her so just..let me take this time to get over it and make up for everything I did.

Comments

[whitescalesbigmouth]

...There's ways to take the edge off though, right?

I'm not saying it's an easy fix or anything but isn't this supposed to get easier after a while?

[Not really in the mood to look on over to him right now. But hey at least she's attempting to still talk to him.]

[imthe_shit]

[ He still has night terrors of the day he burned his commander (and father) alive. Not to mention all the other stuff piled on, he never really has pleasant dreams anymore. ]

I smoke. It takes my mind off of all the shit for a while... But why do you think some soldiers never get used to civilian life again? They've seen things that other people just don't or ever will. And it tears them up inside because no one understands, even when they say they do.

And nothing can help. That's the life we lead.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

I'm no soldier, never have been.

I'm just a stupid kid.

Always will be.

[imthe_shit]

[ He can't help but smirk at that, sounds like words he'd tell Meryl, as if to excuse himself. ]

Better to be a stupid kid then a soldier.

A stupid kid can learn something and grow up, but a soldier only knows how to do one thing.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

Yeah well...

[He does have a point, but she still feels lousy about it.]

Even stupid kids know better than to go ahead and do what I did.

[imthe_shit]

Do you want me to agree with you? [ He's staring right at her now, eyes serious. ] You want me to tell you how wrong you were? To scold you? To kick you while you're in the dirt?

[whitescalesbigmouth]

I don't know, Snake!

I hate this! I hate having to feel like this, but no amount of wishing that I could change what I did is going to change anything.

I can't make a difference, at least not in the way I wanted to.

[imthe_shit]

You're right, you can't change what happened. It's not going to go away, no matter how much you wish it will.

So what are you going to do now that you know that? Because if you're just going to wallow in self pity, then that's the end of our conversation.

[ He folds his arms, coughing a bit. ]

[whitescalesbigmouth]

[Aaaaand a sudden change in tone.]...Those people I killed, they have families right?

[imthe_shit]

[ Snake tilts his head to the side and closes his eyes. ] It's a possibility.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

Otacon or Sunny could possibly track them down, right?

[imthe_shit]

... Probably not, kid. We didn't know their names, or wherever the hell Ocelot picked them up. No idea how long they've been gone, either.

It's likely that their families assumed they died a long time ago... Or are still searching for them.

... Or don't care.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

Oh.

[She sighs, Well so much for that plan. But still - Maybe there's something else she can do if she puts her mind to it. It won't bring the people back she killed but it might help a little.]

..Okay then.

[imthe_shit]

...

Kid.

I've killed a lot of people. Most I never knew personally, others, good friends of mine.

Eventually it became second nature to me... I don't think twice about ending someone's life. It's as natural as opening a door, removing an obstacle from my path.

[ He looks to her again. ] But that's not the life I want for you. I'm sure your family feels the same way.

And you, too.

[ Snake steps over, reaching to place his hands on her shoulders. ]

You can be better than me and Otacon. You can remember them, when we forget.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

And you're telling me not to wallow in self-pity?

Snake. You and Otacon...despite whatever you've done. You're good people. Like really good people. You wouldn't have taken in Sunny or a messed up brat like me if you weren't.

I don't be better than you guys. You're already awesome.

[imthe_shit]

Hhuh.

[ He rubs the back of his neck, shaking his head a little. ]

Yeah, a lot of people say that... Guess I can't complain about being called "cool".

[whitescalesbigmouth]

See? And even I don't get called that.

I should probably change my last name to 'Goldenfail'.

[imthe_shit]

Nothing wrong with being uncool. Just look at Otacon.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

...What was it he called you that one time?

"The shit"?

[imthe_shit]

[ Groans. ]

Yeah. His compliments are... lacking. But I know he idolizes me, ever since I saved him from Frank.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

[Well at least he's never suffered from an extreme case of "Notice me sempai!" like she did.]

Well for what it's worth, I have to agree with him... I've seen you do some pretty amazing stuff.

[imthe_shit]

[ HIS DAD DID THOUGH ]

... Right, you met me in my prime, too. [ He smirks, rubbing his chin. ] I was a lot more capable back then.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

I don't think that's really changed any. You're still pretty capable.

[Ah ye, His prime. Considering she sort of had an attraction towards "Miller"/Liquid, it actually makes looking at Snake extremely awkward nowadays.]

[imthe_shit]

[ Meryl and Saft would have a field day about this. ]

It helps having a muscle suit take most of the brunt. But I didn't have a muscle suit about five years ago... Could do everything without worrying about back pain, either.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

...Don't look at me! I'm not going to give you a massage!