{Homeless | Transformers: Robots in Disguise}

[redshitlord]

Um.

Are you going to explain what the scrap is up with you and calling me "bicycle" here?

I clearly picked a car alt-mode, okay. It's not even close to anything like a bicycle.

...

I don't even know what that is.

Comments

[daintylegs]

My mun says it has something to do with "shipping".

I don't get it either, because you're clearly not a boat either!

[redshitlord]

Right? Boats don't have wheels!

I'm not a freight... anything... either! So I can't ship anything.

[daintylegs]

Mmm but imagine if a boat did have wheels!

It'd be unstoppable! A two wheeled boat would be a shipping bicycle.

...Wait I can't remember where I was going with this.

[redshitlord]

... No, no. Please try. I wanna see what was going through your head there.

Because whatever it is? So much better than the conversation I'm having with the Earth-Nerd over there.

[daintylegs]

[Now he feels shy!]

Oh... well thank you! I've only ever heard of Earth, to be honest, never been there myself.

What's it like? I heard there's a lot of green on it.

[filchen]

Shiny!

[redshitlord]

Oh sc-- Not you.

[filchen]

Shiny mine!

[going to take you back to her hoarding nest of shiny things]

[redshitlord]

Nope! Sorry! I've uh.

I've got a thing! With a bicycle.


Over there.

[filchen]

Another shiny? Mine!

[transformplease]

[HUGE SIGH.]

A bicycle is a two wheeled human-propelled vehicle that children use to either get to school or put pieces of cardboard in to make them sound like they have a motor. People race on them in some countries and they're highly recommended for certain forms of exercise.

...

But that's not what she means.


Even if I wish it was.

[redshitlord]

Sooo... In other, non-nerd words... nothing like me. At all.

...

Wait, what?

[transformplease]

It's not nerdy, it's educational. Something we all can benefit from on this planet.

...

I'm not telling you.


Seriously. You'll thank me.

[redshitlord]

Says the Earth-nerd.

Oh come on! You can't dangle that at me and then just say no!

[transformplease]

Yeah, well this Earth-nerd keeps your behind out of trouble. Which is a full-time job, I've got to say.

And I'm not telling you for your own good!

Seriously, bicycle and shipping and Oh-Tee-Pees.

Stay. Away.

[popculturecon]

I know what it is!

...

You probably shouldn't though, how old are you?

[redshitlord]

I'm --

Hey! Why does how old I am matter?

[popculturecon]

No reason.

No one told you what bicycle means? Seriously? Primus, oh man, you're gonna be super mad, I don't think I should tell you...

[SOUNDWAVE YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT]

[redshitlord]

Obviously they didn't. Or else I wouldn't still want to know, sheesh.

Oh just fess up already!

[popculturecon]

But it's really mean! I don't want to! You go google it, I'll wait here for moral support.

[morethanascout]

[Can you handle a technically slightly younger Bee, Sideswipe?]

Bicycle in this case isn't referring to alt-modes. [He wishes it did, though a motorcycle would be so much better.] A motorcycle would be better for an alt-mode anyway.

[redshitlord]

Whoa...

Uh. Bee?

[Yeah the whole bicycle thing sort of flew out of his head. You look weird.]

[morethanascout]

[He should've expected that reaction.]

Yes, it's me. [His doorwings flicker.] You're Sideswipe, right?

[redshitlord]

What happened? You're uh... looking different.

Yeah, that's me.

[morethanascout]

I don't I? I'm...the same Bee you know, just, younger I suppose.