dear_mun | (no subject)

Everything okay, Goliath?

[What a loaded question that is. Certainly everything is not okay, but - it may be better now than it has been, when he last conversed with this particular Elisa.]

You know as well as I that our lives will never be without . . . complications. That we shall be called upon to answer when evil forces threaten our world, even at a distance. I have answered one such call.

I take heart that it is a necessary battle, that even though it takes me from my home and clan, I protect my home and clan by fighting it.

[So it's as okay as things can get when a massive force of evil is threatening to take the whole universe down if they don't manage to stop it.]

This fighting band that has been assembled, though . . . some of those called are children, and children not raised to be warriors. Their safety concerns me.

[Their emotional resilience concerns him, really, but there's a whole lot to be concerned about.]

Edited 2015-03-16 01:02 (UTC)

[She shakes her head ruefully.]

Just like the whole Avalon thing. You go where you need to be. Stakes are high. Boy, do I get that.

Children, though? That's just... that's just awful. Who's crazy idea was that?

[Goliath nods - of course she gets it. They've had this sort of thing hammered home so many times, the notion that protecting the castle often means protecting the city - the world - now even the universe in which the castle exists. But he's never been so far from home and of course he misses Elisa's understanding.]

The . . . children of this world are responsible, actually. It is an effect of our foe's attack on their safety. As the villain summons evil from across the worlds to aid it, so do the children of this world summon champions whose stories have given them comfort.

[And there is such a lot of unexpected honor in that concept - that there is a world where their nocturnal struggle is but a story, but it is a story told so that human children look to him as a hero, not fear him as one of the very monsters that lurk in this world's darkness, as he is treated in his own home.]

In truth, I have no wish to leave our home unguarded, yet, I would be glad if the rest of the clan could share in this honor.

[They have so few memories of acceptance. If only his younger brothers and his daughter could, for once, be called as the heroes they are.]

And I would be glad of the reinforcements - particularly when the threat against this world threatens ours beyond it.

[And that's to say nothing of how so many of the figures of story who bring children comfort are not necessarily warriors born or raised.]

[Elisa's eyes widen slightly at the explanation. She's got enough experience from this place and past incarnations of this journal to understand the concept well enough, but it's still a stunning thing.]

Sure would be nice to have people happy to see us for once.

And you know we'd be right there with you if we had the chance.

Would that you were. I miss your company.

[She may be from a different timeline than he is, a different expression of their reality, but she's still Elisa and he does miss her.

Still, he has every reason to believe he'll be able to see Elisa - the Elisa he's mated to in his timeline, anyway - again, so he's not going to brood about it.

Though now that he's reminded of missing his beloved - and now that the post-battle adrenaline of surviving the deadly maze has faded - his smile fades as he remembers. The maze took a memory from him. A memory of Elisa, and one that had been a great source of comfort, given that it was taken as a sacrifice in exchange for a book of necessary wisdom. Trouble settles on his features as he tries to figure out, shuffling through his remaining memories, what he has lost.]

[Carefully, she reaches out and puts her hand on his arm.]

I'm sure you'll see them again. You've just got to have faith. We've all been through so much already... one more hurdle isn't going to stop us.

[She frowns, sensing his further discomfort.]

Goliath, what's wrong...?

[He lets out a breath of frustration. His first instinct is to put his arm around Elisa when she touches his arm, maybe take her hand or get his talons a little tangled in her hair . . . but this Elisa is not the same Elisa he has mated to, for all that they are reflections of the same person, and even such innocent affection would not be proper, no matter how much he misses the comfort of his beloved's touch.]

The child of which I spoke . . . he and I accompanied each other through a labyrinth of challenges to find a book of wisdom the boy needed to understand his own book of sorcery. The final test required us to sacrifice a comfort, and take up a burden of knowledge.

[His mild guilt over all that transpired in that maze, how very close Dipper came to losing his life in spite of Goliath's best efforts, presses on him again. He did all he could, and yet still -]

I thought I could choose the comfort I gave up, but it took of its own choosing. I am certain it is one I shared with you.

[Its absence gnaws at him. If he had ever been missing a tooth for longer than a day, he might liken the feeling to that. Only the sense of absence is so much greater.]

I cannot tell you now what I am missing - only that it must have been a great comfort indeed.

[He cannot help but be saddened. Every sweet memory with her is a treasure - and now he will never get one back.]

[Elisa's thoughts dwell back on the brief time she had lost her own memory, and even before that, the strange and confusing time before her memories fully settled from her transformation. She knows too well what it is to lose a piece of herself. Her heart aches for this Goliath, and the limited comfort she can provide.]

That's... that's terrible.

I'm sure you and your Elisa have shared as many good memories as I have with my Goliath. I wish I could help.

Child? [did someone say "child soldiers?" because this kid holding a blindingly colorful skateboard may just be relevant]

[The blindingly colorful skateboard is not so surprising as the child who speaks to him without fear at all, but then, that has been more common in his life as of late than it ever was.]

A competent young person, and I would have been at much a disadvantage without his quick thinking. Nevertheless, had I known when we walked into the maze what I know of it now, I would not have risked a child upon that mission.

[It would have been different if this Dipper Pines was raised a warrior, as the children of his own species would be - but even then, not different enough to warrant taking a 12 year old into a maze that so nearly killed them both.]

[Killua is twelve too, so that's just perfect. he's also blase about most things, which is fairly clear in his shrugging tone. he's maybe a bad example of children in general.

he scoffs lightly] We don't have any more right to live than grown ups. If the kid's competent, then don't worry about it. You're not risking their life. They are.

[Goliath's eyes narrow sharply.]

Who told you that?

[Killua blinks] My parents.

Then they are not fit guardians.

[he drops the judgement bomb, too angry to do otherwise.]

[Oh shit, you did not. He takes his hands out of his pockets, quietly peeved]

Tell me, you ever been in a real fight before twenty, old man? Kill or be killed?

[Goliath spots the angered body language well enough, but he has to struggle not to roll his eyes at the attempt at derailment.]

You know nothing of the history of my kind if you must ask that question. You want to discredit my opinion as a warrior to defend your parents, but that is a distraction. I need no defense.

[The cowardice of such people! There are times such as these when it galls him to the core that he is called a monster, when there are humans out there who convince their children that their deaths would be their faults. How quickly do they expect their children to die, how unwilling are they to shield them from harm they do not deserve?]

No parent who puts the blame of dying on their child deserves defense.

[Killua's eyes narrow as if he were bored, unimpressed. His anger, though, is no less than before]

I'm not defending my family. I'm saying you don't get it. There are kids out there who have to fight. They take their lives in their own hands, and every choice they make's their own.

[fighting, killing, the risk of death--that's his entire life. He gets it's not everyone's, but if someone claims it is, he really can't see how they can say children are exempt from those rules. Kids live in the same world, and they'll die in the same world]

If I decide to fight a guy, that's on me. Not my mom, or my brother, or . . . [he looks down and away, nervousness flashing across his face. then his scowl returns, and he stares back at Goliath] Screw them. Choosing to fight means you take responsibility. It's the same with kids.

Edited (i'm watching the show as I tag and JUST FOUND OUT A FAMILY THING so sorry) 2015-03-17 09:34 (UTC)

[There's really no way for him to point out that a 12 year old doesn't psychologically have the judgement to take true and rational responsibility for a decision to fight someone to the death without the kid just shutting down on him more, but oh, is he thinking it.]

And yet you have not reached this conclusion yourself. You told me who taught it to you.

[Particularly since this child is talking about choosing violence, not self-defense, although that is not yet entirely clear. Who is unwilling to shoulder the burden of guilt should this child lose his life too soon? Or, who has told this child that he must fight for himself alone? Goliath has choice punches for both.]

Which is it - your choice, or the only way you have been given?

Tch. [Killua hadn't noticed his contradiction, but now that this guy's pointed it out, he can't deny it. It's true. So, which is it?]

It's-- [He clenches his fists at his sides. The question's shaken him] It's my choice! But-- But it's also the life I was given. But I left home! I didn't want the life my parents planned for me. And I'm never going back.

[This path having been started by his family is a truth he doesn't want to face. His parents--mostly his mother and his eldest brother--raised him from birth to be a killer. Trained him like a dog, whips and all. Until recently, killing because he was told to kill was all he knew. He was a prodigy, and his parents wanted him to become some big, great assassin. He's left it behind, but it's left a huge imprint on him. Even after running away, he's terrified of his eldest brother.

He's pissed his brother still has such power over him. And he wants nothing to do with his parents' choices]

Now every fight, every kill. That's on me.

Mm, I can confidently say telling people like this not to do something is just the way to make them refrain. Good call; who knew you had such cunning in you?

[Hello friend, hope you don't mind some (friendly!!) mocking from your favourite person ever.]

[Omg get out]

Puck. Your approval is noted.

[Wow he's missed this friendly banter. He's missed it about as much as Puck is complimenting him! Oh man, they're so on the level!]