everything hurts already / canon is Better Call Saul

[mcgill]

Okay, you feel bad for me. That's fine; I get it. We all get it.

Let me clue you in on a little something, though: YOU'RE NOT HELPING. If anything, my image is just suffering more because you insist on calling me ridiculous things like baby, child, idiot (rude, by the way), fluffy, cutie, peanut, etc. etc.

Is that necessary? No. And really, is any of this necessary? No, probably not.

I have work to do. Clients to get out of trouble, justice to... you know, defend.

[You don't seem so sure about that, Jimmy.]

...so do us both a favor and leave me alone.

Comments

[detoxes]

Fluffy? That's like - a cat name. Tough break, man.

[mcgill]

A cat name, a dog name, a gerbil name...

[Scowl.

Such a grump, this one.]

[detoxes]

...Who has a gerbil named Fluffy? That's a new one.

[mcgill]

Someone, probably. Anyway, my point is, it's a pet name. I'm not her pet.

[detoxes]

If you aren't her pet then show her you aren't her pet. The whining doesn't really support your claim.

[mcgill]

[YEAH WELL THAT'S JUST, LIKE, YOUR OPINION, MAN.]

I'm not —

[yes jimmy you are whining]

— going to rise to what's obviously bait.

[detoxes]

[He's hesitating. And borderline panicky. It's entertaining, to say the least. She just watches this glorious trainwreck in progress with an all-knowing smile and crosses her arm over her chest.]

Mmhm. 'Course you aren't.

[mcgill]

[That smile is going to drive him crazy.]

What?

[detoxes]

[Good, because it's not coming off of her sweet little face any time soon. Consider her downright amused by all this.]

Nothing. What happened to your backbone?

[mcgill]

[Is that supposed to be kind of insulting?? Because it is.]

Do you have me confused with someone else...?

[detoxes]

[She's always insulting. He should know that.]

...No? [A beat.] Just because I haven't seen you in a while doesn't mean I've completely forgotten what you look like.

[thestorytelling]

She'll never listen.

[mcgill]

Yeah, well, she better.

[Or else... something...]

[thestorytelling]

[Deadpan look.]

That's what I said. Eight years ago.

[mcgill]

Eight? Jesus. Isn't that what psychologists call an obsession?

[thestorytelling]

Probably. She's gotten two degrees since she started writing me. Now she's older than I am. Makes her feel old.

[Thanks a lot, Nicholas.]

Maybe you'll have better luck.

[mcgill]

Yeah, maybe. I've got a funny feeling I won't, though.

[Is that pessimism talking? Maybe.

But it's also probably the sound of Saul Goodman yelling warnings from the future.]

[thestorytelling]

[He snorts.]

That's the spirit.

[mcgill]

[Just.

This face.]

[thestorytelling]

[This face back.]

You really care about justice?

[mcgill]

Of course I do. I'm a lawyer.

[thestorytelling]

[One slow eyebrow raise.]

[mcgill]

[He presses his lips together.]

Yeah, yeah. I know. Go on, make a joke.

[thestorytelling]

[He shrugs.]

I'm the jaded asshole here. Maybe you do care.

ok i couldn't resist this either

[immigrantpunk]

[Squints.]

I think you have more hair.

omg

[mcgill]

[???]

Than who?

:D

[immigrantpunk]

You in a few years, I guess?

[mcgill]

[Now it's his turn to squint.]

Are you, perhaps, stoned right now?

[immigrantpunk]

[His laugh is slow, but a bit dark.]

Maybe a little. I better enjoy it now.

[mcgill]

[Oh? Are those dollar signs lighting up in Jimmy's eyes? He produces a book of matches from his pocket and tosses it Jayden's way.

Think fast, stoner!]

If you ever get arrested for possession or dealing, gimme a call.

[immigrantpunk]

[It hits him in the forehead and tumbles into his lap. He laughs again, although whether it's at the lawyer's words or his aim isn't clear. Jayden picks up the matches and frowns at the flap.]

So that's your real name, huh?

[mcgill]

[Two points!

Why is this kid so weird, though.]

Yes. That is my real name. The name my parents gave me. It is on my birth certificate.

[He is talking like a robot to make a point.]

[immigrantpunk]

Hey, don't look at me. You're the one who changes it.

[You really suck at this meta game, Jayden.]

[mcgill]

What are you talking about, kid?

[ARE YOU OKAY.

Did you hit your head.]

[immigrantpunk]

[He shrugs.]

'Sall good, man.

[YOU'RE WELCOME.]

[mcgill]

No, it's not all good. I have no idea what you're saying!

[immigrantpunk]

[Sigh.]

Forget it.

[mcgill]

I don't know what I'm supposed to be forgetting, but okay.

[immigrantpunk]

Saul Goodman. Saul Goodman.

[Why can't you see?!?]