what a jerk

[imgoinghome]

Okay, if we're actually gonna do this we've gotta get some ground rules here:

1) I'm not your bitch; if anything, you are my bitch.
2) I'm not going to any of those lame fucking games, so forget it.
3) If I'm gonna live in this hippie hole, I'm gonna need some stuff, and you're gonna get me it. For example, I say cheesy poofs. You get me some fucking cheesy poofs.
4) I choose what memes we go to or whatever, okay.
5) And I'd better talk to some like, awesome people. Cool people. Y'know what--

OY! Are you even-- Goddamnit, I'm talking, bitch!

Comments

Yes, haha negative CR galore.

[imgoinghome]

You think so? Can you prove that, Tweek? Can you prove that a ghost isn't going to sneak into your new "apartment", lean over and gut you to death while you're sleeping?

[xanthine]

Gaah! N-no, I can't, but--!! Oh god, maybe we do have ghosts here! I have no way of knowing! [Gritting his teeth.] Jesus, they'll rip me apart in my sleep and then they'll have to send me back in a box to my parents! So they can laugh and rue the day they changed their mind about selling me into slavery! Aaaaah!!!

[Well now you got him going, Cartman. Congratulations.]

[imgoinghome]

Mmm-hmm.

[He nods sagely. Not having anything else to do while stuck here, this is pretty entertaining.]

When you die, you'll probably have no choice but to be their slave anyway. As a ghost, of course.

[xanthine]

Can ghosts do that!? Be slaves?! Rrrrgh--! I don't know if that's possible, my parents never gave any indication they could talk to the dead!

[imgoinghome]

Of course they can. Don't you know anything? God.

All coffee shop owners can talk to the dead, Tweek.

[xanthine]

Agh! [Eye-twitch.] No they can't! I've never heard them! We don't have any ghost employees!

[He would know. Because he's the only one.]

[imgoinghome]

Well, yeah! Ghosts are invisible, dumbass. You can't even hear them. That doesn't mean your place isn't haunted.

[xanthine]

Maybe yours is too! Rrrgh! All of our homes could be haunted and there's nothing we can do about it! That must've been how the Ghost of Human Kindness found and abducted me!!

[imgoinghome]

Probably. I don't even know how you're still alive, honestly.

[xanthine]

God! Everyone keeps saying we're dead here, but I refuse to believe it! I can still feel pain, so I can't be dead!