on apping into the box why not, canon is far cry 3

[fuckless]

Kidnapped with no apparent escape.

Forced to face off with fucking terrifying monsters.

Crocodiles. 

An incredibly high likelihood of dying.  Multiple times.

Yeah, this is all sounding really familiar.  The only thing missing is the impromptu skydiving trip there.

I wanna say this sounds awesome, but I'm pretty sure I'm not up for round two of My Worst Vacation Ever.  Seriously, I haven't even finished round one.

Comments

[devaastating]

Jason.

You're talking like you didn't like our little outings before. I'm pretty fucking insulted.

[fuckless]

[ Why. ]

And you're talking like you didn't get your ass handed to you by a UCLA graduate, Vaas.

Honestly, I would probably feel a little insulted too.

[devaastating]

[ Ugh why do you have to remind him. ]

You comin' means we have all the time in the world for me to make it up to you, huh?

[fuckless]

[ Wait.

Wait what. ]

You are not going to be there.

[ Just keep repeating that and click your heels together three times, Jason. ]

[devaastating]

And miss the chance to say hello to my favourite fucking white boy?

[fuckless]

You are gonna through serious withdrawal. You realize this, don't you?

[devaastating]

[ If Vaas is being honest? That hasn't occurred to him. Nothing occurs to him beside Jason and a second chance. ]

What I want to know is how you can even think you're going to make it this time.

[fuckless]

Seriously? What makes you think you're going to make it?

I'm not gonna tell you that I won't die there, Vaas. But you can be sure as hell whatever kills me, definitely won't be you.

[devaastating]

Sounds like a challenge, vato. You sure you should be saying that?

[fuckless]

You fucking bet I am.

And speaking of bets. Your boss? Was a shitty poker player.

[devaastating]

Don't matter if it's poker, it matters if you're dead.

[ Which he will personally take care of. ]

You're a pain in the ass, Brody.

[fuckless]

I guess I learned from the best.

Sure you're up to the task? You seemed to be having a little trouble before.

[devaastating]

Little trouble? Little trouble, Jason?! I killed you twice and you came back from the fucking dead, just to piss me off.

[fuckless]

No, actually you failed. Twice. I came back to do what you couldn't.

And you let me.

[devaastating]

No, I let you be reborn.

We're the same thing, hermano, the same side of the same fucking coin. The only difference is that you got lucky.

[ajayya]

That sounds...pretty rough.

[ as if kyrat's been a walk in the park. still, this sounds much worse.

time to handle this with his trademark eloquence and grace: ]

Sorry.

[fuckless]

Yeah. Maybe you did. And sure, you're right. I guess we are pretty similar.

But you're wrong about one thing. The only difference between you and me is that I didn't fucking give up. Face it.

[fuckless]

It kinda' is.

[ Kinda'. What even.

But hey, suffering bros in arms here and all that. ]

But I'll manage. I guess at least in this place, I've got a bit more room to fuck up. Apparently respawning actually exists.

So... there's that.

[ajayya]

Respawning? Shit, that sounds nice.

[ leaving aside the fact that in other lives, many other lives where video game mechanics actually apply, he himself has suffered and recovered from such noble deaths as firing an RPG at too short a distance, stepping off a buzzer mid-flight, and attack by a particularly ravenous tiger. you have no idea, ajay. ]

I mean, uh... Not the, uh. The dying part. That's still pretty rough.

[ you have no idea. ]

[fuckless]

[ Right. Those cassowaries, man. EVERY FUCKING TIME. Not to mention an entire island inhabited by psychopaths but. Cassowaries. Jason can just live in blissful 4th wall ignorance forever and assume respawning is just like it is in his vidya games. Back when he had a, you know, normal nerdbro life. ]

Yeah, not looking forward to that and it's just... realistically, I can't say I've trained enough to take on the cast of Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

[ Said in a totally deadpan 100% serious tone of voice. ]

[ajayya]

[ well shit. despite the deadpan, ajay can't quite help a look of mild alarm. ]

How the hell would you train for that?

FORCE OF HABIT FOR US lbr

[fuckless]

Yeah. Pretty much...

Then again, I wasn't exactly debriefed on how to shoot a gun either but uh... I got better?

First time for everything, or something.

[devaastating]

You think I gave up? You think I fucking gave up? Tell me, Jason--how the fuck did I give up? Huh?

[fuckless]

Two--no, three times and you didn't once kill me. You could have. If you you really wanted to, you could have. But you let yourself go. SO yeah, that's how you fucking gave up.

[ Says Jason Brody, who's been on Rook Island for what, two weeks? Wow, expert opinion. ]

[devaastating]

[ And Vaas laughs. ]

I don't think you get it, Jason. No no no--no, hear me out, I don't think you fucking get it.

If we're in that little place again? I'm going to do the exact. Same. Thing. [ "The definition of insanity," perhaps? ]

And I'm going to do it for as long as it fucking takes to bury you in the ground permanently. For fucking good, none of this coming back fucking BULLSHIT you seem to be so fucking GOOD AT. The best part of all of this, though? I don't fucking give up, but you? It's going to fucking wear you down, Jason, because you don't have what it fucking takes without my bitch of a sister inking you up.

[fuckless]

[ After a long, long, long moment of silence... ]

You are a really sore loser.

[ Deadpan. ]

[devaastating]

I just lost my life. You? You lost everything. Family, friends, lovers...

You think getting off the island is going to help you? You think you're gonna look at the world the same way again?

[fuckless]

[ Okay yeah that one hurt. ]

Go to hell.

And if you think for even a second that I buy into your bullshit about just losing your life, you're more delusional than I thought.

You said it yourself. We're the same.

that was DEFFO the wrong account

[devaastating]

Maybe I was like you, once. But I certainly wasn't a fucking idiot white boy who thought he ruled the world.

LFMAoasfmafsoamsf

[fuckless]

No. Just a fucking idiot pirate who got hooked on drugs.

[ Wanna throw down, Vaas? Let's throw the fuck down. ]

[ajayya]

Yeah... Sink or swim, I guess.

Hopefully...dealing with, uh. Killer Klowns won't take more than one try.

[ he tries to sound at least a little optimistic. but he's a little too awed by the words coming out of his mouth for the attempt to be much of a success. ]

[devaastating]

[ You idiot he was like 14 and enjoys his life.

Also fuck you. ]

Yeah, and you fucking know what? I knew when to leave well enough a-fucking-lone, man. But you gotta be an idiot thrill chaser. You gotta go around thinking you can do anything.

Glad you at least had your little wake-up call, motherfucker.

[fuckless]

Wake-up call? I killed you. I killed your stupid boss. I pretty much ended up owning both your islands. Maybe I can't do "anything" but I'm pretty sure that counts as something.

I've changed. I'm not same. I'll never be the same. But at least I'm actually capable of something now. And you wanna know the best part about it?

It's all because of you.

That's gotta suck. Knowing you're the cause of your own undoing.