smissmas

[notintehkitchen]

Miss, I don't get a lot of stuff. I know nothing because I'm too far behind and not old enough? I'm not sure what that means. You keep bickering about some abudance of hats. I don't need 'em though, the only thing I need to warm my heart and my head is Jell-O! The current going-ons go way over my head. I try not to fret too much, I mean... it would be bad to because it's almost Smissmas! Food toasted golden brown by flames and cute presents to give everyone in shiny wrapping paper! How can I not be excited?  I've been a good girl this year so maybe I will get something too! I'll keep my fingers crossed!

Comments

[sentryslinger]

Your mun might be talkin' about all the changes that have happened over the past few years since you've been stuck in that city. There are a lot of hats now.

[notintehkitchen]

What's so important about hats?

[sentryslinger]

They can make a man look fashionable, for one. Sometimes, they can tell a lot about what kind of fella he is, too.

[notintehkitchen]

But they make you stand out and an easy target.

[She's got a point.]

[sentryslinger]

They can. I suppose you'd just have to pick what's best for you. There's a lot of distractions on the field as it is.

[notintehkitchen]

I wouldn't want Jell-O to get jealous.

[sentryslinger]

He just might, seein' how there are lots of new critters you can take to work with you. Not that you probably ought to, but they are there.

[notintehkitchen]

You shouldn't mention them, now I have to!

[It's her job to coddle everything she can.]

[sentryslinger]

Well, then I won't. I especially won't tell ya about the reindeer version of that Balloonicorn friend of yours, who I'm sure would love to celebrate Smissmas with you.

[That was evil, Engie.]

[notintehkitchen]

WHERE.

[A single word. It's a command, not a question.]

[sentryslinger]

Nope! I said I wouldn't tell ya, so you won't get a peep out of me.

[notintehkitchen]

W-what!? No! No, no, no! That's too mean!

[Cue fretting and running around in circles.]

[sentryslinger]

[He's laughing, now. That was a little cruel for him.]

Well, maybe if you're real good, Santa will bring you one.

[notintehkitchen]

I'm always good except for when I'm bad.

[sentryslinger]

And have you been good this year?

[notintehkitchen]

I would like to hope so!

[sentryslinger]

You hope so, or you know so?

[notintehkitchen]

I didn't kill anyone this year that I wasn't supposed to.

[sentryslinger]

Well, that's probably good enough for ol' Saint Nick. Now you'll just have to wait until Smissmas to see if he brings you somethin' for your troubles.

[notintehkitchen]

I'm not really sure Santa knows about me. I grew up in a place he never came... I think he forgot!

[iteleportedbread]

BAKED BEANS WITH BACON BITS. That is what I want!

to the point I have an icon just for times like these

[notintehkitchen]

[YOU SAID THE MAGIC WORD.]

BACON?!

[iteleportedbread]

Bacon! With beans!

[notintehkitchen]

BACON!!!

[ex_haveaplan64]

(Just barely keeps his poker face, because he's imagining Pyro getting visited by Australian Santa--the one one who kidnaps bad children as slave labor for his workshop, for those of you not caught up to the awesomeness that is the Team Fortress 2 "canon"--and getting a nasty, nasty surprise.)

I'll see wot I can do t' foind you a noice fat Yule Log. And we can make bonfoires that can been seen from space all month long.

(Because this Sniper is the worst enabler best teammate.)

[notintehkitchen]

[What?! NO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?]

Is that possible? I guess there's only one way to find out!

[Everyone is going to die.]

[ex_haveaplan64]

(It would've happened with or without him. At least this way he could evacuate the base in time if when the blaze gets out of control.)

Indeed.

[notintehkitchen]

[NO ONE IS GOING TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU. GOOD THING THEY CAN'T SHOW THEIR FEELINGS IF THEY'RE DEAD.]

You really want to help!? Is this my Smissmas present?

[ex_haveaplan64]

(Oh, whatever. REDs can't hurt each other even in off hours, the BLUs can go sod themselves, and there's always Respawn in case of shenanigans.)

Part 'f it. Thinking about knitting you some socks, too. Can never 'ave too many socks.

(Mr. Excitement the Sniper most definitely is not.)

[notintehkitchen]

[He's the best gift giver ever.]

For my head?

[ex_haveaplan64]

I was more thinking for your feet, but if you want some sort 'f 'at I think I've got th' yarn for that, too.

(Imagine the tackiest knitted hat ever. Pyro's getting that. And also socks, but at least those will be comfy and can be hidden in boots.)

[notintehkitchen]

That's cute, you can make things like a mommy or a woman.

[She means that in the nicest of all ways possible. Also, what? mommy or woman?]