Arachne. Canon is Smite/Mythology

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

This world wide web is just pitiful. Not a single spider on it. I suppose I'll have to change that while i'm out here.

Mun, I don't need you to escort me around here. The Queen of the Spiders needs no hand holding. I'm sure I'll find a place to raise my babies soon enough. Perhaps I'll find Athena out here as well, and finally have my revenge.

Comments

[snakesandspiders]

Not quite completely devoid as one might imagine.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Well well, it seems there are some of my children here after all. And what do they call you?

[snakesandspiders]

I am mighty Ai Apaec, the Decapitator- child of no one but father of many.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Decapitator. Nice title. Doesn't leave much to the imagination though.

I am Arachne, the weaver, and mother of all the spiders in the world. So unless you are from a different world then I, I am your great great grandmother, give or take a few hundred greats.

[snakesandspiders]

That is somewhat the point. But I am several world removed from you, great lady, but all who stand upon the Web of Life are relatives one way or another, past, present or future.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

An elegant way of viewing things. So tell me of your world Sir Decapitator, I am curious on the outside worlds.

[snakesandspiders]

In times long past, it was savage and true to itself. Humans properly feared and loved their superiors. Wars were fought for the simple pleasures of my kind. Now? Mortals have achieved some small degree of power and fancy themselves rulers of their own destinies, compare themselves to gods. Their so called societies filled with endless untruths, built on a foundation of sand.

Nice, if you know how to have a good time and avoid the self elected 'heroes.' Avoid or kill.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

[Arachne's eyes narrowed]

I know all to well what happens when a mortal compares themselves to a god. It does not end well at all.

Heroes... actual heroes or pety men trying to make themselves out as heroes?

[snakesandspiders]

Ah, great lady... I had assumed from your grand beauty you were of the divine yourself. If you were to be compared to any god, the honour is theirs.

[Of course he thinks she's hot, he's a like 60% spider.]

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Well well. I am divine now, but I was once not. Still, while I curse the goddess who did this to me to this very day, I have become more then I was as a mortal.

Still, been a long time since anyone has actually noticed my beauty. Most just run away in terror.

[snakesandspiders]

Then most are despicable fools, undeserving of the eyes in their heads.

[And trust him, he has plenty of eyes. Two human, eight spider, over twenty snake.]

The great lady is wasted on such ignorance.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Indeed. I let my babies feast on their juicy bits as punishment.

You have great tastes my dear. I do hope you aren't just saying that to woo me.

[snakesandspiders]

And what a kindly mother too... Truly, is there a reason to not try my hand at wooing you?

[He chuckles, his hair snakes making weird little 'shshshsh' noises as he does.]

Though I simply make it my habit to say things as they are. It is the way I am.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

It's only natural to make sure ones babies grow big and strong.

[Arachne smirks slightly]

A very good trait for a man to have. Perhaps you have a chance.

[snakesandspiders]

A chance, desire and spirit is all a man needs. Desire and spirit I have in grand amounts. The rest lies within you to decide, dear lady.

[What a gentlespidersnakeman he is. Except no.]

[minty_fresh_money]

Seriously? Did you just make a spider and world wide web joke? If you were working for me, I'd fire you instantly!

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

I take what I can get dear. it was just too easy for me not to make it.

[minty_fresh_money]

There's a difference between an easy joke and a stupid, overused one. Guess where yours falls, 'dear'.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

How many spiders have made that joke, honestly?

[minty_fresh_money]

Too many. If you do it again, I'm going to personally write you into my paper's obituary.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

The obituary? Hahaha~ how quaint.

[minty_fresh_money]

Let's get something straight here, spider granny.

[She pulls out a cigarette, lighting it up]

Your game mechanics tries to balance everybody for fair gameplay.

My universe works off a broken system that lets me re-level over and over again until I can one-shot last bosses, just so that I can stand toe to toe with optional bosses.

[she takes drag from her cigarette, before exhaling it at Arachne. Oddly, the scent is ... minty rather than smoky]

Try to guess which one of us will win if I decide you belong in the obituary.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

So you are bringing video game logic into this. I would be afraid, if we were in your game. Alas we are not, and your rules have no weight here.

[minty_fresh_money]

Whatever. Just stop the lame jokes, would you?

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

I say the joke was never lame to begin with, but it seems you won't ever agree with that

[minty_fresh_money]

You're only saying that because you don't know any better! You're more outdated than the joke itself!

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

An Old joke, really? Who cares how old one is if they don't age?

[minty_fresh_money]

That's a good one.

I can see the headlines now...

"The Oldest Living Joke Brings Back An Old Joke. Ensuing Riot Kills Millions"

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Well that sounds amusingly dark.

[minty_fresh_money]

"Billions of Spiders Are Caught in the Crossfire! Death Intensifies!"

... mental note: Memes don't work in headlines.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Well that won't do at all.

Now who is the one trying to use old jokes?

[minty_fresh_money]

At least I'm smart enough to know when I'm doing it, granny.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Doing a dumb old joke on purpose is worse I say.

[berranyr_mizzrym]

Hmmm... you know, there are those who would contest that title of yours. Different pantheons, I suppose, but I doubt the Queen of the Demonweb Pits would concern herself with such things.

Or not. It's difficult to tell with demons, doubly so when they're goddesses as well.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

I have heard that there are others who claim the be the first spider or the source of all spiders. Some may just be stealing my title, but others, if they are from other realms, may be the real deal.

Either way, I'm obviously the best of them all.

[berranyr_mizzrym]

Really. I suppose that depends on one's definition of 'best'.

Not that I can claim a great deal of affection for her, truly. But there's a certain amount of patriotism involved. My home is still her favored city, even if, alas, I'm unlikely to see it again.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

I suppose one keeps some sort of affection for their patron deity. The Queen of the Demonweb Pits does have a nice ring to it.

Does your, "mun" keep you from your home, or some other force?

[berranyr_mizzrym]

Oh, she has other titles. Though most who do not worship her know her only as Lolth, the Spider Queen.

It's not his fault, really. Or not the primary problem. Sadly, the only way for my presence to once again grace Menzoberranzan would be for me not to be dead.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

I have heard of Lolth. If she is your patron god, that would make you a Drow then.

So you have died, and came here instead of Hades, or whatever the afterlife is for you.

[fluffytails]

I would not be so hasty! Why, based on what I read about this little invention, it's quite crawling with web spiders.

Quite nasty little things, those.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Those are just packets of code, from what I can tell. Where are the real spiders?

[fluffytails]

Oh, you're discriminating against spiders that happen to be electronic? How cruel. I'd never oust a fox, even a digital firefox!

As for other kinds of spiders, I've been told there's a number of Jorōgumo posting webs of lies and feeding on trolls.

[notsoitsybitsyspider]

Not discriminating, just making an observation.

The japanese spider youkai? That seems quite fitting for them actually.