dear_mun | Dead? Undead.

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Dead? Undead.

So you are done being sick now? Thank Goodness! Next time you should just go to the doctor's in the first place! No, I don't care if it's more difficult for you because of reasons, get off your butt and go! It's no good to get worse. I bet your Sensei is less scary then mine!

[Not that she should be talking.]

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Exactly. Which is to say, you're not doing a very good job. You're just avoiding saying the truth.

All I have to worry about is doing what I'm supposed to do.

[Speaking of which, don't make her take out the flamethrower to see if it works.]

So if it's nothing worrisome, then why do you label it as a "problem"?

Stop being a meanie.

[Such strong words there coming from a grown ass woman.]

[He chuckles.]

Okay, okay, I will stop for the time being. Is it so wrong for me to feel concern for you, mignonne?

I guess I don't really understand why anyone would care sincerely.

Pyro is a monster, isn't she?

As much as the rest of us. You like to set people on fire, I like to dress up as their teammates before stabbing them in the back.

[That has always got her to think if he can disguise as the opposite gender. She laughs at the thought, there's no way... right? Damn. Now she needs some confirmation.]

At least you don't have to wear stockings.

Not for this particular job, no. Why, 'ave you got stockings under there?

Stockings? Me?

I don't own any sort of female type undergarments.

[And that's where you go into TMI territory.]

Hmm. I don't suppose you find male clothing more comfortable? Or is it too incriminating to go and buy some?

You should understand, I think...

We both have to disguise ourselves--except I can't be caught at all or it's all over. Be it on the battlefield or at the base, it's a surefire way to get myself booted... or killed... or whatever they do to you when you screw up enough that you can't be allowed to live.

Unfortunate circumstances, truly, but really, 'ow big of a difference could it be?

[He's under the impression fancy underwear is for visual effects only. Bra support, what is that.]

Makes one wonder 'ow you ended up with this profession in the first place.

I ended up with this job because Pyro is Pyro.

[She's really good at this whole not explaining a damn thing about her previous life and how it connects with RED.]

Look, all I have to do is make myself look flat-chested--it's not too hard I just bandage everything up. I mean, the bulky suit doesn't really show much of a figure anyways but just in case someone bumps into my front I'd rather be safe then sorry.

[Now she's going into the details of how she pretends to be a man and counting off on her fingers as she goes through a list.]

Wear men's undergarments... that's alright with me. Boxers are comfy, pretty airy but comfy. No using girly scents... hmm. What else? Oh, I keep my hair short in case my mask ever comes off--not that it has happened but I should try to be as believable as possible. Learn how to fake a more masculine voice in crisis... pretend to look at dirty magazines when in fact I'm reading comic books. No showering unless Jell-O plays guard-dog and even then only at weird hours. Everyone just assumes I'm shy about my burn scars, probably.

I'm probably forgetting some things.

[He'll take it her subconscious desire to hide the facts.]

Reading comic books is a masculine 'obby as well.

There is... One other subject you did not address, but I'm sure we're both better off staying away from it.

[Mother nature's monthly visit. He knows about these things, he has a girlfriend. Mostly. Unofficially.]

I think I know what you are getting at.

[Are we talking about the lady business that she has to go through? Color Pyro surprised.]

You can know if you really want to but I doubt it'd be very fun to hear.

No, I think you've 'it that one right on the 'ead.

Instead, we could talk about other things. More pleasant things. Per'aps the weather? [He smiles wryly.]

The weather? I don't get it.

[That smile. What is he doing? Whyyyyy?!]

There is nothing to get, fret not, mignonne. As long as things are going well with you, I am content. You are content with things as they are?

I'm usually a pretty happy person. Nobody wants to hear anybody else whine anyways!

[Pyro is unsure with how kind Spy is being to her. Maybe it's just his charm and how he treats women? She's probably thinking way too much into it.]

Whining is different from speaking honestly about a problem. I am always willing to lend an ear and a shoulder if you need it.

[His apparent kindness is mostly genuine. It's also fun to pick up as much information as possible, and kindness can be a doorway to many things.]

But Pyro does not want to make others worry! I want to take care of everyone, I'm the mother--like in Paradise!

Even so, stress can accumulate, and it is wiser to attend to it before it gets out of 'and.

["Mother", hein? Of course a female would feel those maternal instincts...]

You're a mother in Paradise? I suppose you mean that in a figurative sense, yes?

No, I have lots of children.

[Because she sees her precious pets and random children she adopts regardless if they like her or not her kids.]

Many, many... Sniper is the Daddy.

[While his first reaction is shock, it quickly melts into a nervous laugh.]

Right. I'm going to continue to assume this is figurative because I cannot imagine the Sniper being a father at all.

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notintehkitchen - 2014-12-09 06:43 (UTC) - Expand

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un_beau_coquin - 2014-12-09 07:15 (UTC) - Expand

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