(no subject)

[yzma_baby]

Mun, you've got to be kidding me. Do I look like I have time to be frittering about in this livejournal myspace whatsit? I'm right in the middle of trying to save my position from a highly irritating llama, so if you could change your mind, I would really appreciate it.

and not try to kill you in your sleep

more than once

Comments

[kolus]

... Shouldn't you be, like, stone right now, or something?

[yzma_baby]

...Pardon?

Do I know you, Mr...?

[kolus]

Mr. Mystery. Town darling and hero.

You're that gargoyle from the library, right?

[yzma_baby]

Gargoyle? You're one to talk, you look like you had a fight with a brick wall and lost.

[if she had her guards with her she'd chuck him out.
Which of course she doesn't.
Oh, her kingdom for a Kronk.
Well not her kingdom.
Someone's kingdom.
Or maybe a small hamlet?

In either case!]

Now unless you've got a way to get me out of this predicament short of murder to which I am not opposed begone, Mystery man. [imperious wave]

[fierybluebird]

Oh hey. Thatch's girlfriend.

[yzma_baby]

Thatch? Who is this Thatch? I don't remember anyone by that name. Though between you and me I stopped taking names years ago. Ahahahaha [flaps her hand]

[om_nom_namur]

So what are y', Eel type Fishwoman or somethin'?

[om_nom_namur]

Maybe batfish? Kinda drab for batfishwoman though...

[yzma_baby]

Eeeyaaaah!

[clambers on the nearest chair]

Niiice fishy. Good fish. Would you like a worm?

[look at all those teeth. She's not equipped for teeth!]

[alovingheart]

A llama wants your position? Uhm, what... position is that.. exactly?

1/2

[yzma_baby]

Empress, of course.

[graceful flutter of her hand to her chest. Doesn't she look regal?

Well she should. This wardrobe doesn't go for beans, you know]

[yzma_baby]

It's a long story. Suffice to say I'm going to be looking forward to a nice llama stew at the end of it all! AHAHAHAHAHAHA

[obligatory thunder]

[om_nom_namur]

[Flat stare.]

Y' shittin' me? These teeth an' y' think I'm the type's gonna go 'round chompin' at worms? Eat it yerself, sweetheart, y' need a bit a meat on them bones.

[alovingheart]

So... you plan on eating the llama because he wants to be emperor?

[Yeah, she's just. Going to back away. Slightly. Because this is worse than talking to rocks. Especially since at least those rocks ended up being sentient.]

[kolus]

Hey! Hey! [Beat] That wall played dirty. [As most walls do.]

I'd stick with murder, though. Seems like your best option.

[yzma_baby]

[she doesn't want to know what you -- wait a minute]

Excuse me I do not need more meat. This is not skeletal, it is ultrafashion. Do you think they make sheath dresses like this in a size other than -5? I don't think so.

[yzma_baby]

Just what I was thinking. [taps her claws nails against her cheek]

Poison? A knife in the dark? A thousand hour Twilight marathon? So many options so little time.

1/2

[yzma_baby]

Well probably not eat. It'd be an arterial disaster. Do you know how many calories llama has? Maybe I'll just have him mounted and stuffed yesss [cackles and rubs hands together] and convert him into a dartboard.

Whahahaha

[yzma_baby]

Oh, I'm sorry, did you ask something?

[om_nom_namur]

Oh hell, don't know shit 'bout fashion, other'n girls usually give a shit 'bout it an' sometimes pretend they don't.

[He scrunches up his face and runs a webbed hand over the back of his head.]

Still. 'S like yer gonna break in half if someone sneezes in the same room.
An' yer tits look better if there's somethin' actually in 'em. Jus' sayin'.

[There might be a faint mauve starting to color what counts for cheeks.]

[yzma_baby]

Well how fortunate for me that I haven't the faintest desire to impress some fangfaced monstrosity from the underworld.

[she folds her arms trying not to feel awkward about the whole situation]

Why don't you go ogle someone else?

[kolus]

Ugh. [Don't smile like that. Ever.]

Twilight? What is that, some sort of movie? Not sure who the real victim of that one is; the person watching it or the one who has to rewind it each time it's done.

The whole torture thing on its own is time consuming, really. I'd go the shorter route. Nothing an ol' whack to the head can't solve.

[yzma_baby]

It's something called meta. I don't understand the reference just that it's supposedly horrible.

You may be right... but isn't a crack on the head a little too...blunt? [and require the arm strength to lift the mallet with enough crushing force to dent a skull] Blood is so hard to get out of silk, you know. I'm thinking more of a nice quiet poison. Simple. Easy. And if you don't screw up you can get a nice quiche on the side.

[slendy_ohcrap]

[Never mind the tall, faceless man watching you Yzma. He'll just stand in the corner, listen to your legitimate complaints about being hijacked into the place. Nothing suspicious, don't get paranoid about him not showing the slightest reaction to anything you're saying.]

[yzma_baby]

[she does notice after a while]

You know, I don't remember that coat rack being there. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know I owned a coat rack.