whoa whoa crashcourse voicetest

[powerballad]

So you're, like...pacing this? So you're not going nuts and trying to shove me anywhere...before you figure out...my parents or anything. Right? I'm all "yeah, woo, yeah", gung-ho is great, whatever. But--be thorough. Or try. We definitely know you can try.

...Sorry, was that mean?

Comments

[gleans]

Oh my god, you're like a baby bird. I'm pretty sure you, uh... don't suck at cooking, at least.

[powerballad]

I feel like adding eggs to ramen noodles in a hot pot was probably the breakthrough that crowned me King of Cookery on the road. But it's just a feeling!

This sucks.

[gleans]

Tell me about it. I was there, it did suck.

... But seriously, tell me about it, how's it going?

[powerballad]

Eh. I think technically it's kind of okay. It's just too early? And she's too excited. I'd say she's jumping the gun, except I don't think she's even holding the gun. I feel like--hm.

I feel like I've been told that I'm performing in front of an audience of five, and that's kind of shitty. But whatever, I'm a classy bitch, so I get ready to go give a good show. But I go out on stage, and the five people are the bartender, my mom and dad, David Bowie and Jesus Christ. That's about how it's going.

[gleans]

Uh, harsh. But at least Jesus, your mom and dad, and - admit it - probably Bowie are gonna love you anyway.

Give it a little more time, I think, and shit'll fly.

[powerballad]

Hey, you're just saying that so that you can think that Bowie would love you. Don't kid yourself, Howard, you are way too heteronormative for him.

But I mean...I know. Kind of. I'll pull it together. We need some time, me and her. Y'know, to paint our nails and giggle, et cetera.

[gleans]

I was gonna argue that, but... face it, everyone's too heteronormative for Bowie. That's why he's so fuckin' magical.

Ooohhhh, girl time. I don't wanna interrupt that, dude.

[powerballad]

I wish you would. I'm shit at painting nails. You wanna help? There's a good green in here for you...

[gleans]

Green? IIIII dunno, Daph, this close to St. Patrick's Day?

[powerballad]

Look--it's like a neon, so if we put a pretty top coat over it, not only will you be so metro, but you'll also be safe from pinches on Saturday!

[gleans]

Fiiiine, fiiiine. I can roll with it.

[powerballad]

Gnee! [Hell yes, you can roll with it, and you can roll with her sidehugging you around the stomach. And bouncing just a little before letting go.] Just count yourself lucky you have pretty singer hands.

[gleans]

[ Yessssss take that hug back, tiny. ]

Okay, I get piano hands, but singer hands?

[powerballad]

Because you play guitar, but you don't play it that hard most of the time. Therefore, you don't have sweetass callouses as bad as like me or Brad. You don't have the hands of a working man!

[gleans]

Aw shit, schooled. Can't help it, Nee, my skin is just workproof.