I am a huge embarrassment to myself... Canon is Jersey Boys

[heartinsympathy]

You do know I'm a real person, right? Not some fake made up someone like... Donald Duck or whatever this normally happens to, right? An honest to god, real flesh and blood human being.

It's not like either of us actually has the time to put up with this, either. You work full time, and I've got shows to --

What? You're -- you are goin' to one of my concerts in January? See, that's what I'm talkin about! This whole set up is just weird.

But, hope you like the show.

Comments

u asked me 2 tag u...

[inkless]

[ oh

hey ]

Then you're a performer.

and then I didn't respond for twelve years. I am the actual worst.

[heartinsympathy]

Yeah. A singer.

[Do u live under a rock, or...?]

What about you?

same tho

[inkless]

Management.

[ he manages a lot of people and it's the 70s now lol no one cares

that's how the movie went, right? ]

But what does that matter? It's your name I'm actually looking for.

fyi I about died when I saw who you tagged with. SWAAAAAAAAN <3

[heartinsympathy]

Ah, right, sorry.

[These days most people already know who he is. Lol, fame.

He holds out his hand.]

Name's Valli. Frankie Valli.

[blueherring]

Concert?

[You've got a young adult here? She hears 'concert' and she's already excited.]

What kind of concert?

[heartinsympathy]

[Does nobody here own a radio??]

Oh, uh. Ever heard of The Four Seasons?

[blueherring]

Oh, hey, yeah... like...
Oh, um...

Bi~ig girls... They don't cry-y-y...~♫

[She sang, clapping out a beat to her song.]

Hey, that's like a classic.

[heartinsympathy]

[He chuckles]

Hey, that's not too bad! Don't let the other guys hear you or I'll be out of a job.

[blueherring]

Hey, wait...
You're not...

[She squints at him.]

Are you...

[She squints harder.]

Oh jeez--!! You're the guy!

[heartinsympathy]

[He laughs again.]

You got me, I'm "the guy".

Frankie Valli, nice to meet you.

[blueherring]

Kat.
I mean, Katherine.

I feel like I totally stepped into a time warp.

[Even though that's completely possible. She had no idea he was so attractive though.

She knows him much older.
Eitherway, she's starstruck. Look how happy she is.]

[heartinsympathy]

[Because the actual Valli is a gremlin and not attractive at all. I mean. What.]

A time warp? What? Why?

[Bless his heart, he's new to all this.]

[blueherring]

[Basically YES.]

Well I mean...

....

Don't you know what year it is, Mr.Valli?

[heartinsympathy]

Uh, yeah. 1970.

[Obviously, I mean, what year would it be? Gosh.]

there's something slightly hilarious about this.

[blueherring]

...

...

[She doesn't say anything. But she's hiding something, it's incredibly obvious just cause she's looking real shifty eyed right now.]

Poor Frankie haha

[heartinsympathy]

What? What's wrong?

[He's starting to feel like he's being the butt of a joke or something.]

hahaha <3 vuv

[blueherring]

I mean, I was born in the 90s.

[heartinsympathy]

So...

[Give him a moment.

Yeeeaaaaah. What.]

This is bizarre.

[blueherring]

But totally cool right?
You're like one of my favorite old-time singers.
And I can show you... Iphones, and-and Ipads, and... oh, cars? Cars are cool.

[He knows what a car is, Kat.]

[heartinsympathy]

I know what a car is, I'm not from eighteen seventy.

[He rubs his hands down his face.]

This is just... I have things I gotta do. I can't be here, I got shows, I -- Jesus, I have kids!

[as if you actually see them much, frankie...]

[blueherring]

[She scratched her head.]

30 years isn't... so bad. You could still do a concert!
I still think you're the best thing ever, at least.

[heartinsympathy]

[He gives her a half hearted smile.]

Thanks. Sorry, shouldn't be taking all this out on you. You've been really helpful.

[blueherring]

No, no. I want to help.
I mean, It's what I do.
Help.

[She's also a witch. A witch who you should never put your faith in because she's so terrible at being one.]

Time travel is kind of an easy thing.

[heartinsympathy]

I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from? Time travel ain't exactly a normal thing.

[No time travel in Jersey. Where he is from. Jersey. Did u kno. Jersey Jersey Jersey.]

Wait so... Did they invent it between this year and, uh, when did you say you were born? The 90s?

[Because that could be cool. Maybe he could go back and make Tommy pay off his own damn debt before it got so outrageous.]

[blueherring]

I don't know when it came up.
Warlock who discovered it probably used it so no one could know when.
I just know need you permission and stuff, or you have to be important,

If I could travel whenever I wanted, I'd be a bigtime singer by now.
Or... anything.

[heartinsympathy]

Warlock? That's like a magician or somethin', right? So this is all like some magic shit?

That'd explain a lot.

[He pauses, taking a hard look at this girl.]

So... are you...?

[blueherring]

Am I...?

[She tilted her head?]

[heartinsympathy]

Gonna turn me into a frog?

[He's worried mmkay?]

[blueherring]

Hehehehe!!!
Is that what you're worried about?

Frogs are so 70s.

[IT'S A JOKE PLEASE TAKE IT AS A JOKE.]

[heartinsympathy]

I'm gonna hope you're more Glinda than Snow White's queen.

[Yeah he's definitely super weirded out by this. But he's smart enough to at least be polite.]

[blueherring]

I'm more of a Sabrina.
The teenage witch?

[Oh wait. That's not 70s...]

I'm just... you know, your normal girl.

You're a way bigger deal than I am, trust me.

...Speaking of which... [Which... witch... haha get it.]

Can I have your autograph?

[heartinsympathy]

[Autographs are definitely more in his comfort zone than witches. He visibly relaxes.]

Sure. You got something to sign?

[Cause he ain't gonna sign your arm or whatever.]

[blueherring]

I uh... yeah. Hold on.

[She reaches into her pockets, laughing.]

This is so weird... h-hey, if you ever need a girl's voice or anything, I... I'm totally here.
I know basically all your songs and everything.

[All she has is a pen and a napkin. Eh. Good enough.]

[heartinsympathy]

[He IS a girl's voice.

He takes the napkin and pen.]

How do you spell your name? Never know how when people say Katherine.

[blueherring]

[LEAVE HER ALONE SHE JUST WANTS TO SING WITH THIS MORE DREAMY LOOKING VERSION OF HIM.]

K-a-t-h-e-r-i-n-e.

[heartinsympathy]

[As she is spelling her name he writes, With love to Katherine. Thanks for all your help! Frankie Valli, complete with a flourish under his name, then hands it back.]

Here ya go.

I've been forced into this help

[shadowofmylife]

Frankie. What the hell happened to your hair?

I love you (pretty babyyyyy)

[heartinsympathy]

[A wild GAUDIO appears!

Frankie immediately starts messing with his hair, trying to simultaneously smooth it down and fluff it up cause let's be real he has to fluff that there's no way real hair grows like that]

Is it messed up? What's wrong with --

Hey, how come you shaved?

am i doing this right don't hurt me

[shadowofmylife]

[Bob squints at Frankie, confused. He rubs his completely hairless praise jesus chin, then his eyes widen and he laughs. Frankie's making some dumb joke, right?]

What're you kidding about? You know I probably couldn't grow a beard if I tried... And I bet I'd look ridiculous.

you are a beautiful perfect flower

[heartinsympathy]

What am I kidding about? What are you kidding about? You just had a beard last time I saw you.

lol no i'm terrible and awkward (like bob ohhhhhhhh)

[shadowofmylife]

You know very well I've barely even had stubble, never mind a beard in any of my twenty years. When'd you decide to become a practical joker? Did Tommy put you up to this?

[Massive eyeroll.]

I don't have time for this. I've got this new song I want to show you...

Nope both perfect.

[heartinsympathy]

[His face flinches at the mention of Tommy and he frowns.]

What d'you mean, Tommy? Don't say things like--

Did you say twenty years?

[shadowofmylife]

Yeah I said twenty years, as in the number of years I've been on this earth. As in, I haven't had facial hair for any of them. You get hit in the head or something?

And what'd Tommy do this time? Did he hit you in the head?

[heartinsympathy]

No, no it's not -- look, there's a lot of freaky stuff going on here, I don't really get it, but I just met this girl from the future, and now you're here saying you're only twenty even though it's 1970, so --

[He hears what's coming out of his mouth as he's saying it and stops. If Bob thinks he hit his head before, now he'll really think it. Frankie runs his hands through his hair, looking around, trying to make sense of this crap.]

Look, Bobby. You said you've got a new song, right? How's it go? I can guarantee I already know it.

[shadowofmylife]

Sure, Frankie, whatever you say.

[He's not particularly impatient, but this is trying his patience. He doesn't have time for his lead singer to be losing his mind. And those sideburns probably won't go over very well with the fans. Frankie looks a lot older with them. How did Bob not notice them growing out, anyway?!]

Well, it's not completely finished yet, but it starts out like... [He sings, not particularly well.] "Pretty as a midsummer's morn..."

[heartinsympathy]

[Frankie smiles at his friend's singing and immediately joins in, finishing through the first verse.]

They call her Dawn.
Dawn, go away I'm no good for you.
Oh Dawn, stay with him he'll be good to you.
Hang on,
Hang on to him
Think what a big man he'll be
Think of the places you'll see
Now think what the future would be with a poor boy like me...

See? I don't understand it, Bob, but somehow it's the year 1970 for me and whatever year for that girl and 19... [Oh crap math] 6...3? for you.

[shadowofmylife]

Frankie. Don't be ridiculous. That doesn't make any sense. How can it be three different times all at once? When I left my house, it was October 1963, and now I'm here and you're telling me it's not 1963 anymore? I don't get how you know about "Dawn" already but... but there just has to be another explanation.

[He pauses for a moment.]

The song does sound great with your voice, though... Think it'll be a hit?

[heartinsympathy]

Thanks. Yeah, it did pretty good.

And I know it don't make sense. I already said that.

if you're still up for it, haha

[blueherring]

[She lets out this really childish squeal. She held it up, to read it aloud, before she shifted for her cellphone with her other hand.]

Can I take a picture with y' too? It'll take two seconds.