Voice-testing and shenanigans

[age_of_the_geek]

Well, look at this, Mun! You decided to go and watch more, and now you have the worlds greatest hacker in your head! I already got all kinds of stuff planned for us and the crew: there's folks off the Black Book who need a right ass-whopping, taking Parker out to see a live Robot Warrior Show (I think I'm getting to her), stealing Eliots sandwiches while he's not looking, and...wait, what? What do you mean you ain't got a crew for me yet? That ain't right!

Hey, could be worse. Could have to deal with that asshole, Chaos.

Comments

[distinctive_guy]

Say that again. I dare you to say that again. What was it about my sandwiches huh?

[age_of_the_geek]

Umm...uhh....I have no idea what you...

...

Shit.

(GAH, SO MUCH FAIL HERE! SORRY!)

[age_of_the_geek]

Look man, I know this looks bad. See, I'mma get you the right stuff to make you another one of your fancy sandwiches. I'mma get on Amazon Shops and Save and get that stuff ordered for you right away. I even let you beat my ass in Tekken. Just no need to remember a thing about this whole bad sandwich business.

There we go!

[distinctive_guy]

Damn right, 'shit'.

Damnit, Hardison! You don't go stealin' people's food! You just don't do... What? No! If you're gonna buy food, you do it in a proper store, alright. Grocery shopping. You know what that is?

Yay fixed!

[age_of_the_geek]

Yeah, I know exactly where that is. It's a place that's crowded and smells like ass and the cashiers take forever because these companies ain't smart enough to put in proper computer systems, and then you get the folks following me around 'cause they think I;m stealing shit...

Yeah, plenty of reasons why I ain't gonna go. So to Amazon I go order food.

Haven't seen you in a long while.

[distinctive_guy]

No, that's how you're gonna get skimped on things. You can't buy food through a glass screen. You need to hold it fresh in your hand and pick the right ones.

That's it, I'm takin' you grocery shoppin'. You need to learn these things.

You haven't seen me ever! This is a brand new account for me!

[age_of_the_geek]

Nuh-uh. you want me to touch all the gross nasty stuff. I have issues with like textures and shit I don't wanna touch things and then there's old people smell nuh-huh nope!

I can't tell if you're sarcastic or serious. O.o

[distinctive_guy]

Respect your elders. They know what they're doin' in the fresh food section.

C'mon, it'll be fun. You'll even learn things. Real life things.

[theotherspeedy]

[Considers it for a second, probably shouldn't... but does it anyway]

Have you ever considered trick arrow design?

I'm serious. I've never played Hardison before ever.

[age_of_the_geek]

Hey hey hey, knowing the proper PVP builds for World of Warcraft is just as important, because that deals with timing and statistics and shit. And remember I'm the one that got us the big ass payout from that first job with Dubenich. That was all things I learned.

You wanna go and tell Parker that 'cause her money was made with computers it ain't real?

[age_of_the_geek]

[Aww, look at that, Speedy cosplayer]

Look, trick arrows are cool and all, but I ain't able to do things that work on comic book science. As badass as a boxing glove arrow is, I can't just magically make that.

But cool on you wanting to make the cosplay as accurate as possible. Don't really see all that many Speedys.

[theotherspeedy]

...

Dude. Multifandom space. Think about it. You're talking to a guy whose head you exist in.

[Let's let the existential awareness of our nonexistance sink in]

Let's face it, we're here because you're cancelled and I got rebooted out of existence and they can't let us go.
[Motions to surroundings] See how many dudes around here look eeeeerily like Nathan Fillion in Firefly, with perfect replica costumes? Like, exactly? And the total lack of convention booths or lines or anyone trying to take photographs with anyone?

[age_of_the_geek]

...what. What? Nuh-uh. No. Nope. Ain't gonna believe that and-

[One second of realization]

Holy shit, you're the actual Mia Dearden then? Holy shit that is awesome? Can I meet other folks like Mister Terrific? Or like the Metal Men? Oh man, I would love to see their programming base! I mean, sentient robots and that kind of crap! That is awesome!

[Another second] CANCELLED? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?

[theotherspeedy]

The Metal Men? Seriously? Your wish list- you know what, you think I'm awesome so I'm not gonna say anything since I'm guessing like, legacy chick former-hooker sidekick with HIV probably isn't selling saturday morning cartoons and action figures to the kids. I'll probably end up on one of those Cracked article lists at some point if I haven't already.

And hey, you got five seasons and an RPG book, that's not bad. No shark jumping, only a fakeout Jossing in the finale, don't tempt fate. At least you didn't get retoactively erased from existence when your whole reality was re-written in a move supposedly to appeal to a younger more diverse audience that really just in the end seemed to be about pleasing middle-aged white dudes who missed the Silver Age but also wanted things to be grittier with more lines on things everywhere.

[age_of_the_geek]

Look, I didn't mean a thing about it. Just, growing up reading comic books, you know what I saw? White dudes saving the city. White dudes saving the world. White dudes with stupid facial hair getting all the attention from his black son. I went with stuff I liked. I liked seeing black men being heroic, I found Michael Holt. I like tech, I found robots.

It ain't a thing against you at all, Mia. It ain't a slight against you and the shit you had to deal with, both there and from outside with a bunch a dumbass white boys writing you out so they could give Ollie more damn page time. Nothing against Ollie, but when you see Ollie all the tim even when there are tohers, you tend to get sick of him. It's like eatin' the same thing over and over again.

And we got five seasons and and RPG? Badass!

Oh, oops. Either way, hi.

[distinctive_guy]

Yeah? You ever see Parker hug a buncha numbers on screen? No, cause it ain't material.

It's as real as your War of the Worlds. It ain't gonna help you with anythin', alright. You gotta go out into the world yourself.

Greetings and Salutations anyways! :D

[age_of_the_geek]

Hey hey hey, War of the Worlds is all of ours. Public domain and all that shit. So don't you go knocking HG Wells!

...and the money is real. She takes a slip to the bank and she'd be rolling around in the cash like she always does. It's even better when she does it nak-next to the bed.

Heh?

Re: Greetings and Salutations anyways! :D

[distinctive_guy]

That-- I don't-- That ain't the point!

I'm takin' you on the next grocery run and that's final.

A wild threadjacker appears! Feel free to ignore if you want.

[jlf_greenarrowii]

Technically speaking, you wound up in the same Cracked article I did. At least you weren't a main entry...

[theotherspeedy]

That's actually really coo-

Hardison, Connor, Connor, Hardison.

Uh.

This is weird 'cause I made him watch the DVDs. The whole Robin Hood theme, you know...

[theotherspeedy]

Riiiight.

I try not to think too much about my critics. They're... wrong. Because I'm awesome. Obviously. We both have "fuck yeah" blogs devoted to us, after all. More than one. I think. People love us.

[jlf_greenarrowii]

What really gets me is that they spent the entire article talking about a nonexistent romantic relationship between us and never once mentioned the fact that, you know, they kept making me white outside of V2. That's a pretty big issue.

Sorry, I'm ranting. Yes, I'm grateful for those blogs.

[age_of_the_geek]

...

This is like some Twilight Zone level shit right here.

[age_of_the_geek]

Hell yes it's the point! You brought it up!

If I'm coming along, I'm bringing sanitized gloves and rubbing alcohol and a whole bunch of other shit. You think they'd le biohazard suits in the store too?

[hk_47]

Query: Robot Warrior show? Do the droids battle organic meatbags? Where might I sign up?