canon is rwby; spoilers maybe in comments

[wickhead]

Awww, look at you! Getting all worried I may be in over my head with Cinder, it's almost like you actually think you have the slightest idea what you're going on about. How many times do I have to say it? Do I need to carry a sign? Should I get it tattooed on my forehead?

I'm. A. Professional.

I've been doing jobs longer than you've been on this earth, kid. If you don't think I've got contingency plans for every last thing, you're a... well, I'd like to come up with something kinder than buffoon but to be honest I'm feeling a bit creatively drained right now. Been busy with all of this crime I'm so good at, so excuse me if I don't have a lot of energy to waste on a know-nothing brat.

Just sit back and watch the show, rookie. You'll see.

Comments

[emerald_dog]

A Professional? You can barely do anything on your own without Cinder telling you what to do. Without her, and us, you'd probably be back to stealing candy from kids.

[wickhead]

[ One of these days you're gonna take a nasty fall down a really tall flight of stairs, and Roman's going to just laugh and laugh... ]

Can't you find some cheese to nibble on, street rat? Besides, last I checked you fell in line pretty quick when she scolded you.

[ He clasps his hands together and presses them against one cheek, fluttering his splendid eyelashes ]

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Cinder! It won't happen again, Cinder! Please notice me, Cinder!"

[ --and the act is dropped just as quickly, a sneer touching his lips. ]

Learn your place, kid, before someone really puts you in it.

[emerald_dog]

[ If she's going down those stairs, she's gonna make sure she brings Roman with her.

And that teasing face of her's is gone when he brings up Cinder's name, completely ignoring that he called her a street rat. She very quickly switches between angry and a little embarrassed, having the audacity to categorize her relationship with Cinder like that! ]

You don't anything about Cinder!

[ Somehow she doesn't think to defend herself, just Cinder. ]

You should just be thankful that she finds you useful at all! There might be a day in the future when she's through with you, and Mercury and I will be at your door for a little goodbye. [ She bares her teeth a little at that obvious threat. ]

[wickhead]

Oh, and here I forgot to wear boots so I could shake in them!

[ A roll of his eyes, as he clenches his cigar between his teeth to light it with his new lighter, thanks for stealing his old one ]

Please. If she wanted to get rid of me, she'd be better off sending a pair of newborn pups instead of you clowns.

[emerald_dog]

[ She plans to use that lighter against him someday, but only when Cinder says she can. ]

Do you really think Cinder would keep us around if we weren't the best of the best? I'd just make sure to sleep with the light on for, Roman.

[wickhead]

Do you really think you'd be the first wannabe bigshot that tried to off me?

You wouldn't. There was a list.

[ He leans a little closer, tugging his cigar from his mouth to tap the ashes out. ]

Was. Past tense. Connect the dots, I'm sure you can do it.

[emerald_dog]

I'm not a wannabe, Roman. I won't hesitate to snuff your little flame if you ever stop be useful to Cinder.

[ Cinder this, Cinder that, it's like the girl only cares about one thing.. ]

Pathetic guys like you don't scare me.

[wickhead]

Nor do annoying brats like you scare me.

[ A shrug, idly twirling his cane. ]

Oh, well. Yap away, kid. I guess it's like they say - you can guide the ignorant, but there's just no helping the stupid.

[deadly_belladonna]

Perhaps you should just consider retirement and do us all a favor by just disappearing, Torchwick.

Your poor mun to have someone like you around.

[wickhead]

Ouch - kitty's got claws today.

[ Look at how hurt his feelings are. Look at him. So wounded. ]

If not me, who? You? Someone so ashamed of who you are that you hide it under a ribbon? Or maybe that spazzy Red kid? And don't even get me started on the others. What a bunch of freaks.

[multiglyphs]

Are you sure you aren't the rookie here? Don't you know what always happens to the bad guys in these stories?

[wickhead]

There's an exception to every rule, snowflake. In this case...

[ A flamboyantly dramatic bow, twirling his cane. ]

... Yours truly.

Oh, and thanks for all the Dust, by the way! It's going to really come in handy.

[multiglyphs]

I guess you wouldn't truly be a worm if you couldn't wiggle your way out of trouble... [ is it an insult is it a compliment ]

And don't be so cocky! You aren't exactly getting any subtler.

[wickhead]

Subtler?

[ He straightens back up to glare at her skeptically. ]

Honey, why on earth would I want to be subtle? I want people to know who's behind these crimes. What's the fun in a criminal career if I don't have any legacy?

[multiglyphs]

Oh, so you wanted to be caught so easily by a bunch of teenagers in the middle of the night? I see. Yes, that's definitely the makings of a great legacy.

[wickhead]

[ A single, hearty laugh at that, shaking his head incredulously. ]

Oh, wow, you really think that threw a wrench in any of our plans? You truly are a small-minded thing, aren't you?

[multiglyphs]

Whether or not it did, it just goes to show how easy it'll be to take you down. So I wouldn't hold my breath for success if I were you.

—or you know what. Maybe you should.

[wickhead]

You oughta learn to shut your trap, brat.

[ He lifts his cane to gesture vaguely at the scar on the left side of her face. ]

Or are you looking for more of those?

[multiglyphs]

[ well if there's one thing that you can say to truly push weiss' buttons... it's that. or so i think ]

Don't talk about things you have no idea of.

[wickhead]

Right back at'cha, kiddo.

Do yourself a favor and stick to working the family business. I mean I'll still be robbing you blind, but at least I won't have to kill you!

[shining_beacon]

Yes, you're both such immaculate businesspeople.

[Have a smirk just before taking a drink of coffee.]

[wickhead]

Ozzy! Now here's a rare treat... how are the kids?

[ He snaps his fingers, as if realizing something. ]

Oh, that's right! Hatching a harebrained scheme that's going to get them all killed. How's that going for you?

[shining_beacon]

Oh, they're all quite fine.

[He smirks again.]

I would think you - of all people - would not be so hasty to underestimate them. Especially considering three of the four of them have already single-handedly taken down multiple operations of yours.

[wickhead]

A little luck goes a long way.

[ A scowl - Ozpin's unflappable nature is annoying, since Roman does so enjoy getting a rise out of people. ]

But it'll run out. One blunder, one little trip up, and...

[ He lifts his cane, holding it like a gun. ]

Kapow. Adventure's over.

[shining_beacon]

Only a child clings to excuses like "luck" mister Torchwick. You want to know why a fifteen year old girl can be held at at blade-point, outnumbered and alone and emerge victorious? How a single young woman can walk into a nightclub operated by a known criminal organization and walk unscathed from a burnt building? How a young lady can confront an army of operatives trained in guerrilla warfare and only have her clothes scuffed up?

There is only one explanation. They're better than you. I would happily bet my life on that, every time.

[wickhead]

[ He listens with increasing tension, resisting the urge to shoot the man and be done with it. You don't become headmaster of Beacon without some tricks up your sleeve, and he's not going to find out what Ozpin's ace is without some backup at the very least.

Once the man is done speaking Roman takes a moment to collect himself, calmly lighting his cigar and puffing it before speaking up again. ]

But your not betting your life, bucko. You're betting theirs.

Stakes are a bit high, don't you think?

[shining_beacon]

[Ozpin just sinks back into his confident and knowing grin.]

Am I though?

[wickhead]

[ ... Squints. This guy must just be screwing with him, now. ]

... Yes?

[shining_beacon]

And it is that uncertainty that tells me everything I need to know. That is why you are nothing more than a glorified lackey.

The queen has her pieces, after all.

[wickhead]

[ A long, overdramatic sigh as he tosses his hands in the air. ]

Sure! You got me. You've got it all figured out. I'm sure everything will go just as you expect, no one will get hurt, and you'll all live happily ever after. There will be unicorns and rainbows, and nothing will ever be bad again.

[shining_beacon]

Make no mistake, I have come to terms with the fact that someone will get hurt... possibly even die. However, as difficult a reality that is to accept, I have no doubts that they will beat you and your puppet-master.

[wickhead]

And I can't wait to prove you wrong.

We done here, Ozzy? Or do you have more hot air to blow in my face?