Voicetesting | Simon Says...

[jailbirdprosecutor]

... I refuse.

There are matters of far greater precedence that require my attention. I will not have you squander my time with such petty games. Furthermore, it has already become abundantly clear that your own schedule will not allow for tomfoolery either.

It is best to leave chained dogs lie.

[Mun wonders if perhaps Simon means "tethered birds", which instantly causes his face to turn from default frustration to Menacing Death Glare^(tm). He reaches down by his side as if he's about to draw a sword.]

SILENCE! Cease your outrageous jabbering! If I hear another quip about birds out of you, I will strike you down with my blade!

[Aww, don't be like that, Simon. It may be hard to swallow, but mun has a whole flock of bird jokes ready to take flight and each one is a hoot.]

......Tch.

Comments

[It's what I'm here for.]

[pinokosthewife]

Heeeey, don't make me shound like a shwimp! Do you talk to everyone that way?

You better not call your future wife a jumbo shwimp, Mishter Blackquill!

[ <3 ]

[jailbirdprosecutor]

[He's... still laughing. Especially at the prospect of a future wife. If only she knew.]

Hah, you needn't worry your pretty little head about such matters! [Yes, he just said "little" again.] Suitable candidates for marriage are hard to come by in the clink.

[pinokosthewife]

Aaaahh! There you go again, you big lug— [She was about to start uselessly pummeling his legs with her fists, when she blinked in confusion.]

... 'clink'?

Like, the sound glashes make when you go "cheers!"... that clink?

Are you talking about shingles' parties, Mishter Blackquill?

[jailbirdprosecutor]

[..... Rare are the days when he gets to meet someone so clueless.]

The slammer. The brig. The joint. ... Prison.

[pinokosthewife]

[She runs on obliviousness and cheer!!]

Oh! But, why is a prosch-a-cuter in jail? Did you do shomething wrong?

[jailbirdprosecutor]

[He shoots her another wry grin.]

Yes. One might say I did something wrong.

[pinokosthewife]

No way! What did you do, Mishter?

[She's surprisingly not judgmental at all about this, more innocently curious and surprised than anything else.]

Was it an akshident? Traffic can be sho awful!

[jailbirdprosecutor]

[The lack of judgment and abundance of innocence is exactly why Simon won't tell her the truth. He doesn't want such oblivious and optimistic people to struggle with the notion that he's a killer. ...It's not really any of her business either way.]

That is a story best saved for another day. What matters is that justice was served.