dear_mun | In the interest of suffering...

....Phédre?

[wry smile fades immediately, replaced with stunned surprise]

A-Alcuin?

[bottom lip trembles, and she raises a shaking hand to lightly brush her fingertips against his cheek, as if to assure herself that he is, indeed real...and then embraces tightly, as though she had no plans of ever letting him go.]

[Pressing his lips to her temple, he holds her hard, shutting his eyes tight. It's all he can do to keep his voice even and calm.]

I'm here. You're not dreaming. I'm here. Breathe. I'm not going anywhere.

I'm so sorry...

[Her voice breaks, and she quakes violently in his grip, her hands tight in his snowy hair as a rattling breath, almost a sob, leaves her.]

If I had been faster...

[She pulls back, her dark eyes glossy and her lashes glinting with tears just beginning to spill over, guilt and grief and hope all at once.]

I've missed you...

[Altogether too conscious of her hand in his hair, of the sting of oncoming tears, of the tightening of his throat, he gives his head the tiniest of shakes and feels his aching heart lift knowing she'll catch it. As she pulls away, he oh so gently tucks her hair back behind her ear. It takes a conscious effort to be able to reproduce his clear-eyed, serene, sweet smile for her. He doesn't blame her. How could he?]

No, Phédre, being faster would have served none of us well, and you would not have done all the marvels that you have. He would be so proud of you.

[Impulsively, he hugs he again, briefly but with an underlying fierceness that gives sincerity to his next words.]

I've missed you so much.

[The breath rattles out of her, and she hugs him tightly for a long moment before she pulls back, a heavy weight having eased from her soul. Her hands move to cradle his face, thumbs brushing over his cheeks in a gentle caress as she drinks in the sight of him. Tears still flow, but they no longer sting with the bitterness of grief, and she smiles through them.]

Alcuin...

[She leans in and kisses him, not on his mouth, but on the apple of each cheek, on his nose, on his brow. She blesses his face with affection of an almost sisterly nature, and then rests her forehead against his. There is so much to say, but words are too trite for this moment.]

Edited 2014-06-22 00:44 (UTC)

[He closes his eyes and there, in the warm darkness, he can almost believe that they are home. Back in the courtyard of Delaunay's little house, rejoicing in reuniting after a long absence. But it's just a dream. A fantasy. Tilting his head upward, he presses warm lips to her forehead briefly.]

I want to hear everything that happened, you know. Whatever you are willing to tell me. No secrets between us, when we can, remember? Will you do me that favor sometime?

How could I keep anything from you, Alcuin? Of course I will tell you everything.

[Her voice is a soft whisper, barely there, and she pulls back to smile at him for a moment before letting him go to raise a graceful hand up to wipe her tears away, giving him a braver smile.]

Perhaps you will be able to help me make more sense of what has happened.

[He always was quicker in wit than her, and she had wished for him and his beautiful mind beside her more than once. There was no jealousy, though. She had made up her mind long ago that she was unable to hate him for it. Instead, she loved him all the more for it. How could she not, especially after losing him before.]

[Feathered white brows wing upward and he regards her with quiet reserve.]

I kept things from you, once. Some things require silence. I would not begrudge you that if you felt it necessary.

[A wry smile lifts his lips.]

Though I'm not sure I'll be of much help, if it's something that's happened to you recently. History, lineage, research, language... In those, perhaps, I might be of some assistance. My knowledge of current events depends on what my patron allows and what Joscelin tells me - little enough, I'm afraid you'll find.

I doubt that I shall have need to keep anything from you, Alcuin. I may have begrudged the secrecy in the past, but I understand why you and Delaunay felt the need for it, wrong as I still think you were.

[Her smile grows a touch weary, and she reaches a hand up to touch the space between her brows, which she tries desperately not to wrinkle.]

I suppose that you and I shall learn of current events together, then?

[She looks back up at him with a tired smile, and leans in to rest her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. ]

For now, may we just pretend as though we are children again?

[He nearly leaps to defend Delaunay, but it would be a fruitless endeavor, as well as rather silly, and he knows it. Phèdre loves Delaunay too, and if he does occasionally feel guilt at causing her distress with that relationship, he would not have Delaunay if Phèdre hadn't made it possible. She knew what she was doing.

Smiling into her hair, he holds her close, heart aching for her weariness and the hurt she's suffered since they parted - so much worse than an adolescent yearning thwarted.]

Of course. [He pauses and keeps his voice solemn and serious.] Would you rather navigate a maze blindfolded, or test one another at languages? [Clearly he cannot be jesting.]

A-ah...

[He steps forward, slowly, his arms kept tight to his body. After adjusting his hat a little, he speaks again... though he has a hard time meeting her eyes, even though for a brief moment he does get a curious glint due to the red fleck in her dark eyes.]

Mia Mundana has asked me to introduce myself to you, so... [And he bows deeply at the waist.] Molto onorato, contessa.

Oh, the pleasure is mine...You have me at a disadvantage though, signore, if you already know my station.

[Her Caerdicci is well-spoken, a practiced tongue with just a touch of an accent from her homeland]

[His surprise is obvious on his face when she begins speaking Italian, but the minute she begins speaking his tongue, his body relaxes slowly - until she says "signore".]

No no no, hardly a signore, contessa! [He shakes his head, waving his hands back and forth in denial of such a noble title.] My humblest apologies. I am Leonardo da Vinci, an artist and inventor by trade.

Leonardo, then.

[She hides her amusement, giving him only a soft smile as she continues to speak to him in his native language.]

If you will be Leonardo to me, then I should be Phèdre to you. I try to make a habit of becoming good friends with artists.

[Her smile grows poignant as she thinks of Thelesis de Mornay and Favrielle no Eglantine, but she quickly centers her attention back on the man before her.]

What, if I may ask, is your preferred medium?

[He hesitates at her frankness, but soon Leonardo nods his head in agreement with her request.] As you wish, Phèdre.

[His accent doesn't mar her name too badly, though that Caerdicci lilt (to her ears) is still quite noticeable.]

I typically work with oils on a canvas. Though I have been known to do other things... mostly sketches, in my notebooks. [He carefully digs out his notebook out of one of his pouches, and carefully offers it to her to browse through at her leisure. He speaks again, but this time not in Italian.]

You have a marvelous grasp on my native tongue! I am afraid I cannot boast of my grasp on yours. I, ah... I only know a little, and it is probably very poor.

[She takes the book of art, long well-sculpted fingers flipping through the pages reverently, as though it were a tome of ancient knowledge. She knows too well how an artist's work can be like their heart torn from their chest and placed on display, so she is delicate with his sketches, but genuinely impressed with his work.]

I have a love affair with languages. I would be willing to teach you, Leonardo, if you would help me refine some of my Caerdicci? There are certain idioms and cultural idiosyncrasies of which I am sure I still lack a complete understanding.

[She offers his sketchbook back, tilting her head at him.] Do you work on commission, my new friend?

Would you? Well I-- I would be honored. I was never formally trained in languages - or anything, really - due to my status, so to be truly taught in something... I thank you. All that I know is my own study.

[He's relieved when he receives his sketchbook back, even though Phèdre was handling it very delicately. He does smile a little as he places it back in the satchel at his side.] Almost exclusively, ducess-- Phèdre. I trust you are interested in my work, then?

Quite so. Language for language, I shall freely trade you.

[Annoyance flickers across her features, but not annoyance at him. The mere idea that someone would be withheld instruction or learning because of their station is not something that sits well with her. That the Caerdicca Unitas would limit opportunities for learning in the lowborn and in their women is a detestable concept, but one she has dealt with before. It is a fleeting expression, though, and her smile returns once more, warm and friendly.]

For your work, I shall pay handsome coin. I should like to have a few portraits done, if you've the time and inclination.

Then I gladly accept. I only hope I am not a difficult student.

[He nods eagerly in agreement at her offer.] Yes, I have plenty of time, since... well, since mia Mundana invited me here. It's been rather freeing, but I would like to improve my skills if possible. It has been a bit of time since I last painted. Such a commission would be perfect.

[Now about Leonardo's procrastination problem, Phèdre...]

The only difficult student is one that is unwilling to learn.

As for commissions, do you require a model sitting? I'm not very certain that my dear Cassiline would be so patient. Then again...

[She inclines her head, remembering the Midwinters she has spent with Joscelin, and his long vigils while she did...other things.]

...perhaps he would be.

I doubt that will be a problem, Phèdre. [He gives a small smile in return.] Thank you once again.

... Cassiline? [He seems confused for about a second, and then it clicks. Phèdre can practically see the cogs spinning in his head as he starts picturing such a thing, and his cheeks get progressively redder and redder as it goes on.]

Oh Dio. I do not think I have the strength.

[She watches him, biting the inside of her cheek against the wider his reaction seeks to pull from her. She knows in Caerdicca Unitas, it is considered an unnatural thing for a man to find another man attractive, but it is a cultural taboo that she will never understand.]

He is, perhaps, one of the most beautiful creatures this world has yet given us, yes? 'Twould be a shame not to immortalize him on canvas.

But you are asking the impossible. No amount of paint on canvas could accurately portray the beauty of such a one as he. Joscelin is...

[Joscelin is so indescribably handsome, that Leonardo can't even finish his thought. He struggles for a word before finally giving up.]

I also do not think he would appreciate it much, either, knowing him as little as I do.

There are very few things that Joscelin would decline if I asked him kindly, Leonardo. I doubt that having a simple portrait painted of him runs counter to his Cassiline creed, even as terribly strict as it is.

[She shrugs, tilting her head and looking up in thought, then looks back to him with a neutral smile.]

But, if I cannot pay you to paint for me a portrait of my Joscelin...Then perhaps I must commission one of another whom I hold dear to my heart. Can you work from description? I fear that can have neither Delaunay nor Alcuin sit for you.

We usually have little time for such things in our travels, usually because of Jaunts. That, and... [He sighs, looking a bit saddened by this.] Everything you cannot take with you disappears forever, in Liminal Space. It would not remain there for long. At least, not without an ability or two.

I only believe you will not be satisfied with what I create. [His eyebrows raise, then narrow again in confusion.] ... Alcuin? Of course you may. He's a Traveler, like myself. Tua Mundana wants to place you in Liminal Space as well, if I am not mistaken.

[She listens with an understanding air, until he mentions knowing Alcuin. The calm expression slides off her face as her eyes widen with surprise...and hope? The discussion of paintings is forgotten for the moment, eclipsed by the other half of the conversation.]

Yes, yes! My Patron wishes our assignation to take place in this Liminal Space. Alcuin is there, as well?

[Leonardo is hugged, briefly and suddenly, and then she pulls back to set her hands on his shoulders and kiss him squarely on each cheek]

I cannot express my thanks to you for this knowledge, Leonardo!

[He smiles a little, though it is a sad smile. That face is, unfortunately, far too familiar to him: someone you thought was dead, but suddenly, found to be alive.]

Yes, I've actually been speaking with hi--

[And then suddenly the hug and the kisses commence upon his person. Oh god, why. He returns the hug, at least, but the kisses throw him for a loop. Despite looking a little... frazzled, and his ears turning a bit pink, he seems no worse for the wear.]

Please, Phèdre, no thanks are necessary. I'm simply doing what one should for a fellow human being. He is alive, and well... to the best of my knowledge.

[She draws a breath and then lets it go in a quick audible sigh of happiness as she holds herself at arm's length, smiling at Leo as though he's just told her the best news she could possibly have heard. ]

Of course thanks are necessary, you lovely man! Alcuin is very dear to me, and I had thought him dead...

[Her smile falters at the memory of Alcuin's bright blood and his pale face growing paler with death, only a little, an only for a second before it returns, the lines about her eyes perhaps just a little tighter than before. ]

You and I shall be great friends in this Liminal Space, I am sure. My Patron tells me that I shall not remember this discussion, but...I am a fair judge of a person, and I judge you fairly, Leonardo da Vinci. I should like to think that I shall always judge you so fairly, be it here or in some other world.

Then I am glad I could help, even in a small way. [He smiles now, the corners of his eyes crinkling just a bit. He notices the expression change on her face - artist's perception, and all - but he seems pleased when things mostly return to normal.]

You will not remember it in Liminal Space if you are sent there, but you shall here, should you like to return someday. I... [His smile turns a bit sad, but his hand reaches up and squeezes her shoulder just a little.] I have been told how we shall meet, and I am prepared to assist you, in any way I can, here or in the next Jaunt. I am truly sorry you will be thrust into Liminal Space so violently.

You are kind, Leonardo, but you needn't be so sorry. There have been few things in my life that have not been violent. It is my curse--or blessing, if you will--to be the recipient of such, so that others may be spared.

[She reaches up to his hand on her shoulder, and covers it gently with her own, smiling softly to him.]

I fear that I shall need all the assistance I may garner, and I thank you for yours, in advance.

Phédre.

I should warn you, before you sign any contracts you'll regret. Where you're considering... my last memory of you there is from La Dolorosa. I've spent two years lost, believing you dead.

It won't be an easy reunion.

Is anything ever easy with you?

[She should be kind, be loving. She had thought him lost to her, as well. She should rejoice at seeing him, but something petulant in her still wants to hurt him, retaliation for the pain that he put her through even though it hurts her even more.]

Must we return to Siovale for things to be pleasant between us?

Edited 2014-06-24 18:27 (UTC)

I am who I am. And I don't...

[He pauses, takes a breath, and the heat drains from his voice, although his frown doesn't fade. If anything, it redoubles.]

You have to know what seeing you again will mean to me. But it will be... complicated. You have to know that.

I know. It will be no less complicated for me. I was ready to let you go, Joscelin. Not because I didn't love you. Nay, entirely the opposite. You wanted so badly to be the savior of the Yeshuites. I thought, perhaps, that would bring you the happiness that I could not.

I love you. I was so glad of our fight, because it meant that you were not there to be slaughtered as Remy and Fortun were...The sliver of hope that you were still alive allowed me to defy Melisande.

Even so, I know that our reunion will not solve the problems that exist between us, for we are...who we are.

[She smiles sadly, and quiet tears trail down her cheeks. ]

Stuck, as ever, at the crossroads.

Phedre.

I've spent two years trying to fill the hole you left. Nothing came close. Not the Yeshuites, not stewardship of half a hundred lost souls, nothing...

But I want to save that for the reunion itself. Now isn't the time.

[Some selfish part of her is heartened that there was nothing that could compare to her for him, but she hurts for him, as well. Still, she smiles softly for him.]

You are right. Too right. I am sorry, Joscelin, for fighting with you. I may never say that again, without the urging of this Patron, for I am selfish and flawed, but let it be said at least the once.

Even if this journey fails and we are not reunited...My heart is gladdened to see you here.

In the interest of suffering...

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